Friday, February 27, 2004


Spoke too soon. Those Krispy Kreme doughnuts are now sitting in cryogenic stasis, waiting for the time when they will be awakened to see daylight once again. As blocks of grease are slowly making their way through the lower end of my digestive system, I am starting to really regret the decision to blow $15 at once on doughnuts, when for about five bucks less, I could have gotten 2 dozen of doughnuts with a wider selection from Tim Horton's.

Having been raised on a diet light in deep fried foods, my lower intestine is simply not capable of absorbing so much grease at any given time. I think that's why I am not gaining any weight as a result -- it is simply languishing in my intestines. This is a very uncomfortable sensation that I liken to the feeling one gets after being punched in the stomach really hard.

While they do taste good, the 30-second long sensation of having something tasty is repaid several times over with a nasty feeling of solid blocks of grease making their way through your system which comes and goes every fifteen minutes.

I still have about a dozen to go. I figure if the weather somehow manages to get colder, I can use a Krispy Kreme doughnut for a hockey puck. Anyone up for a game?

For the next little while, I will be eating a lot more fruits and vegetables in order to clean out the greasy residue.

But as someone who hates throwing food away, sooner or later, that dozen is going to have to be dealt with at some point in time.

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