Ugh...

Spoke too soon. Those Krispy Kreme doughnuts are now sitting in cryogenic stasis, waiting for the time when they will be awakened to see daylight once again. As blocks of grease are slowly making their way through the lower end of my digestive system, I am starting to really regret the decision to blow $15 at once on doughnuts, when for about five bucks less, I could have gotten 2 dozen of doughnuts with a wider selection from Tim Horton's.

Having been raised on a diet light in deep fried foods, my lower intestine is simply not capable of absorbing so much grease at any given time. I think that's why I am not gaining any weight as a result -- it is simply languishing in my intestines. This is a very uncomfortable sensation that I liken to the feeling one gets after being punched in the stomach really hard.

While they do taste good, the 30-second long sensation of having something tasty is repaid several times over with a nasty feeling of solid blocks of grease making their way through your system which comes and goes every fifteen minutes.

I still have about a dozen to go. I figure if the weather somehow manages to get colder, I can use a Krispy Kreme doughnut for a hockey puck. Anyone up for a game?

For the next little while, I will be eating a lot more fruits and vegetables in order to clean out the greasy residue.

But as someone who hates throwing food away, sooner or later, that dozen is going to have to be dealt with at some point in time.

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Ah, my first blog.

Yesterday (Tuesday, February 24th, 2004), in my hometown of Surrey, B.C., Canada, they opened up a new Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. Being a born and raised Canadian, I have a special soft-spot in my heart for Tim Horton's doughnuts, which is a huge Canadian icon. You cannot so much a spit without hitting a Tim Horton's. But, I'm always willing to try something new.

Having already tried Krispy Kremes last summer on a roadtrip between NYC and Ottawa, I already know what I was getting into. Sweet and greasy confections that make your eyes bug out and your fingers twitch are pretty much the norm. I still remember my first. It was a Caramel Kreme. It had little bits of toffee in it. I could not sit still for the trip back to Ottawa.

While I was not one of the diehards that lined up the day before, I eagerly waited in line. Just out of curiosity, I set my watch to see how long it would take. The time between stepping in line and paying for my doughnuts was about an hour and ten minutes. Much of that was spent in the merchandise tent which the lineup was forced to go through.

Once inside, they actually gave us a free sample doughnut. Like promised, it melts in your mouth. It's almost like eating cotton candy. Upon getting to the selection window, I made my choice of a dozen assorted (I picked) and a dozen of the classic glazed. Upon leaving the store, I am offered $100 for my doughnuts. In retrospect, I should've at least considered it.

For those who are unaware, Krispy Kreme doughnuts are inordinately high in fat and sugar. It has been suggested that it is one of the reasons why obesity is an epidemic in the USA, where Krispy Kremes are commonplace. I recall a consumer report where they took a sample doughnut the major doughnut shops (Krispy Kreme, Tim Horton's, Dunkin' Donuts, etc.) and dissolved it in water. They then ran the beaker through a centrifuge (a device that spins liquid vials and separates the components). The Krispy Kreme doughnut had anywhere between 2x to 3x the fat content of some of the other doughnuts.

And I ate about four of them yesterday in a 10-hour time period. Today, I ate three of them in an 18 hour time period. I think I'm getting a bit better, although I still have about a box and a half to go. My mom is supposedly helping me, although she is taking medication to lower her cholesterol level, so I don't know if I should have her helping me.

Luckily, I am one of those weird freaks that have a ridiculously high metabolism. This means that no matter how much I eat or work out, I am still stuck at 155 lbs/70.3 kg. It doesn't mean I don't have any adverse effects, though. I am not accustomed to eating large quantities of grease at once, so my digestive system has been all out of whack these past two days.

Tomorrow, I am freezing them for later use. Hmm...maybe I'll have one right now...

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