SO LONG, STINKTOWN!

After years of living in the small city of Surrey, I've finally moved to New Westminster, which isn't a huge step up, but it's a step up nonetheless. Sort of a necessity (partly because Mom sold her place, but mostly because I'm sick of crossing the Port Mann bridge during rush hour), but also a benefit, as it will cut anywhere from 30-40 minutes off of a public transit ride to Vancouver, especially when you consider that if you miss the bus at Surrey Central Skytrain station, you will be waiting anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour for the next bus.

Surrey isn't actually as bad as everyone is saying, although a few of the stereotypes hold true. There are a significant number of trailer parks, Surrey Central Skytrain station is NOT a fun place to hang out at night (unless you're looking to pick fights with random strangers or score some crystal meth), and if you leave your car for long enough, it WILL be broken into. That, and apart from hanging out at the mall and waiting for the Cloverdale Rodeo, there isn't much to do out in Surrey. But on the other hand, I only met one girl who fit the "Surrey Girl" stereotype (okay, three). That, and if you keep your wits about you, you'll probably be able to make it through Surrey without witnessing a fist fight, a stabbing, and an arrest, all in the same night.

Regardless, I'm glad to be out, although I will miss the relatively clean stink-free air (unless you drive through Cloverdale) and the nearby parks, of which there are many. Additionally, I will admit that New Westminster isn't that much greater either.

I you leave with my ode to Surrey.

"Surrey Trailer Trash Girls"
Copyright and Trademark Vince, 2006.
(sung to the tune of "California Girls" by The Beach Boys)

The girls from Kits beach are so pretty
With hard bodies tanned and toned
And Richmond girls from China, you know there are no finer,
You know you'll never be alone

Educated ladies from UBC
With their intellectual fare
And the Burnaby girls with the way they talk
They all have lots of charm to spare...

I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
I wish they all could be trailer trash Surrey Girls

What I want is a girl who's had two kids
Before the age of sweet sixteen
A kinda girl who knows that she just can't say no
To a hit of meth and smoke some green

I've been all around the lower mainland and I've seen all kinda girls
But it would feel good to just get back to my hood
Back to the most skanky girls in the world...

I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
I wish they all could be trailer trash Surrey Girls

(instrumental bridge)

I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
(girls, girls, yeah I dig the...)
I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
(girls, girls, yeah I dig the...)
I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
(girls, girls, yeah I dig the...)

(fade out)

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