School / work
I have about two or five major assignments due over the course of the next two weeks. Evidently, I didn't think I was busy enough because I decided to take another writing assignment for Fangoria magazine. This time, I'm covering Sam's Lake, a horror film that is being shot out of Nanaimo. I get to take a ferry for this one.
One of my homework assignments was to meet and interview a professional writer, and then to do a complete profile. I chose Andy Linardatos, an award winning copy writer and creative director for Rethink Communications, a local advertising company. I managed to get tons of great information and I know I'll get a pretty good mark on the assignment.
I was pretty surprised that I managed to get a prominent local writer, although I was also impressed that some of the other people in my class managed to get some very high-profile writers as well, including Vancouver Sun sports writer Ian McIntyre, RCMP media liason Tim Shields, and local political pundit Rachel Mardsen.
Yeah, I know. I was pretty floored too. I mean, Ian McIntyre. I love that guy's column!
Pop Culture Vulture
Last Saturday, I caught a preview screening of Team America: World Police. As it's brought to you by the same guys that created South Park, it's going to have lots of swearing and violence, and somewhere buried underneath is a strong political message. But it's still pretty funny to boot...they don't spare anybody in it. They make fun of everyone from Michael Moore to Alec Baldwin (who allegedly offered his voice talents to the filmmaker).
One thing I can say for sure...it has one particularly memorable scene that makes the vomit scene in Monty Python's Meaning of Life look like a hiccup.
Person that Writes Things
My on-set report for Fangoria on Alone in the Dark is still indefinitely on-hold pending release of the film, although my other set report of Thralls is due for publication early 2005 to coincide with the film's video debut.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Monday, October 11, 2004
Canadian Thanksgiving doesn't seem to be so much as a big deal for Canadians as it is for Americans. For one, it wasn't made a national holiday until 1957. But, it is also tied in much less with Canadian history than with American history. While most folks know that American Thanksgiving is celebrated to commemorate the settling of the pilgrims in Massachusetts and the shared meal between the native people (we have countless Thanksgiving TV specials to thank for that), most Canadians aren't aware of the history behind it.
There isn't one particular concrete historical event that is accepted to be the main reason for Canadian Thanksgiving, but here's a quick sampling:
-It was originally a European tradition to celebrate the fall harvest, which was brought over to Canada when European settlers arrived.
-In 1578, English traveller Martin Frobisher attempted to find a northern passage to the Orient, but instead settled in Canada. The "first" Thanksgiving was held to celebrate his good fortune.
-Was held in April 15th, 1872 after the then-future King Edward VII recovered from a serious illness.
Whatever the history, there are still reasons to be thankful. What am I thankful for?
-A supportive family that I know I can turn to when I need them. This family has gotten a little bit smaller this year, but it is still my family nonetheless.
-Good friends. As much as people constantly come in and out of my life, I'm grateful that I have people that I can talk to, hang out with, and just be myself without worrying about being judged.
-My health. Mind you, I'll always have to work at this one (proper diet and exercise), but I'm grateful that I'm not chronically ill like my late father or struggling with addiction issues like many other people. I'm also grateful that I didn't fall off that ladder last weekend, or else I'd be composing this from a hospital bed. But, like I later brought up in one of my classes that week, "The best thing about almost dying at work is that you get to go home early."
-Heroes. We always need more of them, not ones that are pre-fabricated by the media. I mean people like Christopher Reeve, an actor that fought for spinal cord research, who passed away yesterday, as opposed to heroes that pre-fabricated by the media.
-The stuff I have. Thankfully, I'm not particularly materialistic, which was important this year because I ended up bouncing around from job to job before going back to school. This is important as I'm not able to fill my life with as much crap as I used to (eg: clothes, eating out, stuff that I generally don't need).
-The Internet. Where would I be without it?
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving to all my readers.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
"And remember, bring back something illegal!"
This is something I have been known to say whenever I know someone is travelling to a foreign country. As local customs vary from place to place, so does the idea of contraband. This is partly due to traditions held by each culture and ignorance held by others.
My mom is going to Hong Kong next month to visit relatives for about a week. Like the last time she went, I'm asking her to bring over a pair of authentic nunchaku. I'm not talking about those foam padded Nerf ® ones that you coudln't so much as kill a fly with. I'm talkin' those ones that are hard-wood, joined with a swivel chain, and could really be used to put a dent in a person's skull. And they require significant skill and practice to use effectively.
For some odd reason, Canadian customs has seen fit to confiscate melee weaponry such as this. As a martial artist that lacks carpetry skills, I don't know how to make my own from raw materials so I have been trying to find a way to get a pair of my own. But, given the hard line stance on exotic weaponry, it's not going to be easy.
This has always confused me, because martial arts weaponry requires an amount skill to use, as improper use will inevitably result in injury of the user (how many clips from America's Funniest Home Videos show a guy smacking himself in the groin with a pair of nunchuks?). It would be far easier to use any number of every day objects to seriously lay the smackdown on someone if you're so inclined. All you need is a little imagination.
-Fire extinguisher. You can pull one of these off the wall and put a dent in someone's head if you convert it into a makeshift bat.
-Ballpoint pen. Jammed into someone's nose, it can cause excruciating pain. Forced up even further, it can penetrate the sinus cavity and enter the victim's brain. It could also be used as a stabbing weapon, especially through sensitve areas such as a person's eyeball.
-Soda can. When torn in half, the aluminum is very sharp and could easily break skin.
As it is, nunchaku were supposedly intended for use by the people of feudal Japan to crush rice (the most prevalent theory) and to reign in horses (based on how the word is derived from the Okinawan words for horse, nun and briddle, chiyaku). Given the fact that all the bladed weapons were banned by the feudal lords, the martial artists turned to farming implements.
While there were regulations against the importing of such weapons prior to the 9/11 attacks, they are even more stringent now. The Canadian Air Transport Security Authority has a list detailing items that are restricted for carry-on luggage. While their list does not include martial arts weapons, it makes some particularly odd allowances and restrictions. Some of them make sense, such as a fire extinguisher. This is not due to its potential use as a weapon, but because of the pressurized gas contained inside. But others?
Sporting implements like hockey sticks are restricted. In a very tight environment, this would make for a highly impractical weapon, as would golf clubs and lacrosse sticks (which are also restricted). Yet they allow umbrellas (which are potential stabbing weapons) and wooden canes (which are potential bludgeoning weapons).
Oddly enough, they allow whips. I'm wondering if that's an error.
It never fails to amuse me, how any number of everyday objects could be used to much more deadly effect than martial arts weapons in the wrong hands, yet even an otherwise legitimate, law-abiding martial artist would be considered breaking the law by posessing them.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Work:
Today ranks as the shortest working day on record. My job involved power washing somebody's house for painting purposes. As I climbed up the ladder, I realized that the ladder was improperly set. As a result, it was beginning to slip as I was standing at the second floor.
I was forced to grab the ladder and the roof at the same time, dropping the sprayer. It hit the pavement below. As I went back down to move the ladder and pick up the sprayer. An important piece was broken off, rendering it useless (however, it is repairable).
Total elapsed time: One hour, forty-five minutes. I'll have to go back tomorrow pending the repair and availability of equipment.
School:
The temptation to slack and veg is very strong. My X-Box beckons from the corner while still shrinkwrapped DVDs scream out to be opened, liberated, and viewed. Not surprisingly, they scream to me louder than my school books. I try to justify it, saying that the DVD I'm about to watch ("Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", FYI) needs to be viewed so I can write a "Script-to-Film Comparison" article for Screenwritersvoice.com, but when it all boils down, it's two hours that should be spent studying and doing homework (even more when you consider how long it takes the write the article).
"Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead."
However, I do have the first draft of one assignment due. I'm supposed to write a 400-word essay on the process of choosing a dictionary. As we're writing for a specific intended audience (aspiring writers), I decided to write it in a very sarcastic manner, outlining the alternative uses of a dictionary. As many writers live in squallor, are broke, and can't afford proper furniture, one could use a dictionary for kindling, killing rats and cockroaches, and propping up the short leg of a couch.
Love Life:
(CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY)
NEXT!
Person that Writes Things / Pop Culture Vulture:
My film review of Shark Tale is now on-line at Screenwriter's Voice. If you don't really feel like reading the whole thing, let's just say that the story and characters jump the shark really early in the film (pun intended).
Sunday, September 26, 2004
DISCLAIMER: The following web log entry (or "blog") has been censored by the 20th Century Fox legal department. As the said writer (or "blogger") has signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement (to be refered to as "NDA" from hereon in) upon his first day of work, his posting sensitive information on this site is a violation of said agreement and this post has since been censored. The blogger has since been notified that any further violation of said NDA will result in immediate confiscation of his entire comic book collection and his right to blog in the free world. In accordance with the renegotiated NDA, the post will be permitted to run, but with some minor alterations.
-The Legal Department, 20th Century Fox
Yesterday was one of the more tedious ways to make $10 an hour. Having been hired as an extra (or "background performer", if you will) for the locally filmed movie ********* ****, this gave the opportunity to stand around for the better part of 12 hours, snack off the craft service table, attempt to do some homework, and meet some people. But that's the boring part.
The coolest thing about being an extra is being on set. The film crew managed to transform ****** **** into the ******** ************ of ****** *** ****, who would be later known in the movie as *** *****. In the scene in particular, we see two of the main characters, *** ***** and **** ********, who would later go on to become *** ***** and *** **********.
For people following the ********* film scene, it's really cool to have actor ******* ******** back on set. It's the coolest thing. For those in the know, he used to be on the TV show *** *******, which was also filmed in *********. He has a very ******* ********* which makes him out to have a **** ****** ********. He turns out to be a ***** **** ***, although there seem to be some differing opinions.
My scene in particular required me to stand on the ********, where I was supposed to **** to the ******** and enter through the **** ****. From there, I had to turn around and **** ** ** ********* and **** *** ** *********. I had to do this over and over again, until *** ***** called cut. I may actually be ********* ********* in this scene, as I am ******* ***** **** ** *** ******. ******** ******** actually walks right by me ** *********.
The director of this film is *** *****, best known for his work on *** ******** film series. This is a bit of a departure from him, being that the previous films he had worked on were ****** *********. Still, I am optimistic that *** ********* can pull it off.
In one really weird scene, I *********** *** ***** and got to actually see ******* ******* take his pants off and ******* ******* ****** ***** *** ate a handful of his own ****** **** ******** *********. After this, he proceeds to ****** ***** ******* onto her face and she ****** ****** *********. I really don't know how ***** **** ****** **** intends to get this past the ratings board with just an "R" rating. I hear that they are trying to go for "PG."
I hope I can get on this set next week.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
"I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world / Life in plastic, it's fantastic! / you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere / Imagination, life is your creation."
-Aqua, "Barbie Girl", from the album "Aquarium" (1997)
Yet another chapter in the never ending war against small mom & pop business owners, Mattel, manufacturers of the famous unrealistically proportioned fashion doll, has launched a lawsuit against small business owner Barbie Anderson-Whalley, the owner of Barbie's Shop, a Calgary based on-line retailer that sells fetish and goth-influenced apparel. Never mind the fact that this the person's actual name, which is legal under Canadian law.
It never fails to amuse me when large organizations put the squeeze on individuals and small businesses that allegedly infringe on their copyrights. I have nothing but full confidence that Mattel will end up losing this one and will be forced to cover the costs of the defendant. Given their recent litigous history and losing streak, this is almost a given.
September 1997 - May 1998: MCA records, the recording label behind Danish pop group Aqua, is sued by Mattel for their hit single, "Barbie Girl", alleging copyright infringement and trademark dilution, saying that the lyrics associated "sexual and other unsavory themes with Mattel's Barbie products." The lawsuit is dismissed, as the song fits the legal definition as a parody and social commentary.
December 2003: Mattel launches suit against Utah based artist Tom Forsythe for his work "Food Chain Barbie," which depicts Barbie placed in sexually suggestive poses while being mutilated by kitchen appliances (sizzling on a wok, baking in an oven, etc.). Mattel charges that copyright infringement, while the LA courts decide that it is a legal parody and protected under American freedom of expression laws. The appeal is summarily tossed out of court as well.
June 2004: Mattel launches suit against Barbie Benson, a stripper and nude model who owns and operates her own pay-use website. The charge is copyright infringement, even though the website has no association with the said plastic doll or logo. Mattel has since "given up" attempting to take control of the site, according to one news site.
It's always satisfying to see a large conglomerate take a tumble like this, especially in a world where justice has a price tag. Sadly, in cases like these, the law has had a tendency to side with the litigant. We see it all the time.
Disney: Despite the fact that Victor Hugo's story "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" is public domain and Polar Lights has been making the plastic model kits for about 30 years before Disney came out with their version, they put the squeeze on them. Rather than risk an expensive lawsuit, they cave and rename their product "The Bellringer of Notre Dame."
Starbucks: Essentially pissing on the liberties and freedoms that their forefathers fought and died for, Starbucks successfully sues artist Keiron Dwyer for his comic book magazine, "Lowest Common Denominator." The cover features a parody of the Starbucks mermaid, only she has nipple piercings, a dollar sign on her head, a coffee cup in one hand and a cell phone in the other. The words "Consumer Whore" replace "Starbucks Coffee". Despite the fact that it is legally defined as a parody, and Starbucks is an easy target, the law sides with Starbucks, as Mr. Dwyer's logo is "confusingly similar" to the Starbucks logo. He is forced to comply with the ruling.
Monsanto: One of the most litigious organizations around, they have actively supressed news media that is critical of their products, destroyed the environment, and made a lot of people really sick with their products. They also sued a bunch of people that didn't deserve it, such as Saskatchewan based farmer Percy Schmeister, who had wind blow Monsanto-modified seeds onto his field, which actually contaminated his own crop yield. This adds insult to injury.
My hope is that we will continue to see judgements like the ones being passed against Mattel, rather than the kind of judgements we see passed against Percy Schmeister and Keiron Dwyer. Caving to the demands and whims of large conglomerates undermines the principles of freedom under which the free nations of the world were founded.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
The school year is close to coming to an end and the freshman girls who are starting up the next year are undergoing their annual hazing ritual. As hormonal teenaged boys watch, young girls are paraded out, where they are doused with flour and raw eggs.
DARLA (16) has the young girls lined up where they are sprayed with ketchup and mustard while SHAVONE (17) sprays them with whipping cream.
Attaching a dog collar to a FRESHMAN GIRL (13), she parades her over to where a group of boys are sitting.
SHAVONE
Propose to Mr. Dawson.
Upon command, the freshman girl drops to her knees to Dawson (18).
DAWSON
FRESHMAN GIRL
DAWSON
FRESHMAN GIRL
DAWSON
FRESHMAN GIRL
DAWSON
(Adapted from a scene in "Dazed and Confused" (1993))
The question of whether or not to spit or swallow has been on my mind for the past two weeks. The choice that one makes seems to be directly split across gender lines, and to a lesser extent, cultural habits.
On a personal and intimate level, it's not preferred. Spitting is considered impolite, and downright rude in most instances. Ultimately, it's the act of expelling material from one's mouth and when one is doing so, they are making a statement as to their true feelings, and not just because they don't like the taste.
Some feel that it is more important to swallow. This makes complete sense, and was even the topic of a history class I took in university a few years ago. There was a time when the practice of spitting was actually banned in some instances. And why not? It's not pleasant to watch and regardless of changing female roles in today's society, it's not very lady-like.
As to my thoughts on the matter? I'd prefer it if everybody swallowed. Heck, I swallow too. Since I came down with a cold a few weeks ago, I've been coughing up all sorts of fun stuff. Being that I'm usually indoors and far away from a sink or toilet, I do not have the option of running towards an area to expel whatever it is that's in my mouth. Ironically, it's only when I'm engaged in the act of spitting do I actually taste it. And I really hate the taste.
(C'mon, people. What did you THINK this was going to be about?)
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Communications 1118: Composing in Context - Principles and practices of Workplace Writing
As I write this, I am taking a break from re-reading Flower and Hayes' A Cognitigve Process Theory of Writing. For anyone taking academic theory courses, these are a headache to read. Despite the fact that I sat down and went through the entire text with a highlighter, I have no idea what any of it means. Here's a sample:
"Planning, or the act of building this internal representation, involves a number of sub-processes. The most obvious is the act of generating ideas, which includes retrieving relevant information from long-term memory. Sometimes this information is so well developed and organized in memory that the writer is essentially generating standard written English. At other times one may generate only fragmentary, unconnected, even contradictory thoughts, like pieces of a poem that hasn't yet taken shape."
Uh...right. Got it.
As much as I appreciate theory and its applications, I haven't felt this stupid since I bent over to pick up a penny in the street without looking for oncoming traffic and almost got my head taken off by the #10 Granville bus. I dunno if it's my short attention span or the way it's written, but I'm having a really hard time trying to figure this thing out.
I liken the experience to eating lots and lots of corn. Most of it passes through your system completely undigested, and there's probably a good chance that it could take a few more passes through your digestive system before all the nutrients have been assimilated.
If you wish for a slightly less disgusting analogy, liken it to eating a lot of celery. You expend more calories eating and digesting it than what's actually in the celery itself.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Communications 1216: Interpersonal Skills for the Workplace
As part of the Print Futures program over at Douglas College, we are taught this because it is becoming an increasingly needed skill and has been needed since the beginning of the working world. We tend to assume that these skills are in place just because a person has a grasp of the English language, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Today, I am slightly peeved because I managed to lose about four hours because the proper communication was not put into place.
One of the instances is because of my employer. Being that the base of operations is mobile, I do not have the option of going to an office to retrieve my paycheck. Therefore, I was supposed to meet up with him to retrieve it. I am able to maintain contact with him up until today, the day I was told to call him. Over the course of three hours, I leave three messages on his voicemail, each more irate than the last. As it is, I have no idea as to his whereabouts, save for the fact that he is in and around Vancouver, which is one of my reasons for being in the city.
The second is that I find out at the last second that my martial arts studio has spontaneously cancelled the weekly practice session. I don't realize this until I go to the actual studio and the door is locked. There is no prior communication or even a note on the door. Being that no one shows up for about fifteen minutes, I make the decision to cut my losses and just leave.
This is four hours which could have been put to better use, yet instead, I am at the mercy of people that fail to communicate properly.
I contact a co-worker as to the whereabouts about said employer and I am informed that Sunday afternoons are especially tough to make contact with him. This leaves me especially peeved, as I was given general instructions to simply call him on Sunday. Out of courtesy, I elected not to call during the morning, which he would likely have been able to take a call.
Five hours after the initial phone call and I am still unable to make contact. Should he call back, I will tell him to mail me the check. As for the martial arts studio, the suggestion box will be full by the end of the week.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
*COUGH* *COUGH* part 3
I'm running out of ways to say this, but after talking to more people at my Capoeira classes, I'd have to say about 50% of the people I've talked to have had had cold symptoms of some sort or another, ranging from mild fevers, sore throats, wet coughing, and runny noses. After swapping messages with another student who attends the Calgary academy, it appears that most of them are getting sick too.
It's been said before that the fastest way to get rid of a cold is to give it to someone else. If that's the case, whoever was the first among the group of a hundred-something to get sick should be feeling like a zillion bucks right about now.
School / work
Class load is deceptively light, although that's about to change. I need to find a part-time job because I don't know how I'm going to pay for my books or my next semester otherwise (or the other things I need to buy, for that matter). Still dunno what I want to do. Either head back to my old job or find something new. Being that a lot of the people have since changed over (many people have quit, moved on, were fired, transferred, etc.), I think it's safe to come back.
The fact that I'm busy with school work means I can't afford to goof off. The lack of regular after-school employment means I literally can't afford to goof off either. After all, you know how expensive it is to goof off these days. As it is, you practically have to pay to get a license in order to goof off. And you know how much those cost these days.
Pop Culture Junkie
I saw Resident Evil: Apocaylpse last night. It's okay, I guess. I much preferred the first one, although they were both a lot of fun to watch. There were the occasional laugh-out-loud moment (token black dude runs over a zombie in his car, then goes, "GTA, mutha fukka! Ten points!"), although it's still not very well written.
Person That Writes Things
Being that Alone in the Dark is suddenly without a distributor, it won't likely be making its scheduled release date of October, which means that my article for Fangoria Magazine is being indefinitely held until the film's release. As it is, it appears that one of my other articles, my from-the-set report of Devour, will be released first, either end of 2004 or early 2005.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
*COUGH* *COUGH* Part 2
I've been running through the symptoms fairly quickly, which means I should be completely over my cold by next Monday (Sore throat Monday evening, snotty throat by Wednesday evening). It appears that my suspicions were true (my last blog entry had me pointing the culprit to the Batizado weekend). Wednesday's Capoeira class was relatively empty and even the head instructor was sick. Two members of the support staff were also sick (although their symptoms showed up earlier).
But I still feel like crap and feel like sleeping in, but there's just too much to do.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
*COUGH* *COUGH*
As I write this, I am preparing for my first day of school (oh, wait, that's TODAY) by digging through a pile of papers, attempting to retrieve my student ID# and revising all of the papers and information I was given. I have no idea what to expect, save for the fact that I'm now sitting on a sore throat that started up just yesterday. Yes, I am coming down with a cold.
It's strange, that mankind has found a way to put a man on the moon, deliver dirty pictures to teenaged boys' computers in a matter of seconds, and automatically slice bread, yet STILL can't cure the common cold. The only they can do is alleviate symptoms by giving us pills and syrups that make us edgy. As it is, some athletes have come under fire for using cold medication to boost their performance. You know that product, "Sudafed"? The active ingredient is pseudoephedrine, which is a similar product to ephedra, a stimulant that is a controlled substance (read: banned in some places).
There are some who really dislike pharmaceutical companies, given some of their business practices. Understandably, they are businesses, and are therefore concerned about the bottom line. But, I still have a few beefs with pharmaceutical companies, such as the fact that they advertise on television, which means bigger push towards more expensive medication, which may or may not be any more effective than cheaper medication. This in turn means that doctors are put under more pressure to prescribe medication that not only costs more, is not necessarily more effective, but could also be a lot less proven (ie: side effects).
I have a bigger beef with the fact that pharmaceutical companies seem to be focused more on treatment rather than cure. If someone actually got around to finding the cure for cancer, AIDS, and the common cold, we'd have a lot fewer pharmaceutical companies. But then, we'd probably have pharmaceutical companies trying to create cures for "made up" diseases such as Attention Deficit Disorder (that was a sarcastic comment, by the way).
But really, let's face it. Kids had the same attention spans now that they did 20-some odd years ago. What has changed? Apart from the fact that today's teachers are more than likely to push psychoactive meds on kids to make them more attentive, the kids are the same.
But I digress.
So, while I'm preparing for the onslaught of dry coughs, runny noses, and stuffed sinuses, I'm left trying to figure out exactly what it is that caused this. Given the number of activities I have done over the past week (which is roughly the incubation period for the cold virus), it's tough to nail down a specific culprit or cause.
I wasn't in contact with a large number of people until the weekend, where I attended the tenth annual Capoeira Ache Brasil Batizado, where most of the students attended to enhance their Capoeira skills and receive their belt. As some of the students and teachers are coming from around the world, it only makes sense they'd be bringing something else with them apart from their ache (that's Portuguese for "everything positive", you know).
This is where most of the rules for cold prevention pretty much go out the window (avoiding contact being the number one). I know I shook hands and made other casual contact with a lot of other students and instructors. Sure, only a germ-phobic hypochondriac would exact measures for cold prevention this time of the year, but I'm living proof of the fact that colds can hit you even when it's not the season for it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to sweat it all off at the gym. I tend to feel better after wearing several layers of clothing and running for 20 minutes.
Sunday, September 05, 2004
An automated filter placed in the People's Republic of China has made it so any sort of e-mails or websites that contain key phrases and words will be blocked out from people's reading. Mind you, this would be completely without context (most computers aren't smart enough to figure that out yet), but words would get banned nonetheless.
So, being that the Chinese government isn't too hot on democracy, understandably, the word "democracy" has been banned. But, what if you happen to be writing something to do with the failure of democracy? Given the denial of the Chinese government of the Tienanmen Square massacre in 1989, the word "Tiananmen" is understandably banned as well. But, what if you were backpacking through China and wanted to e-mail your friends via web cafe, and wanted to MEET there? Obviously, that meeting isn't going to take place. Or, it'd have to beheld somewhere else (because you can't say something like "Fifteen minutes from Tiananmen Sqaure.").
Words like "Christian", "Fulan Gong", and "Human Rights" are understandably blocked as well. As expected, "Sex" is blocked as well. Never mind the fact that safe sex resources and education are needed in all societies.
So, understandably, this site has been banned too. I just need to e-mail a few of my relatives in Hong Kong to see if it works.
ADDENDUM (Sept 5, 9:33). According to my friend's left-behind comment (and he spent a few months in Hong Kong and China a while ago), there is no on-line censorship in Hong Kong and certain parts of Sourthern China. Take that, Big Brother! (or would that be ge-ge?)
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Engrish.com has a huge gallery of adventures in mistranslation. Despite the fact that Asian education standards are much higher than that of North American schools (especially in Japan and Hong Kong), much of the English written on products for general consumption are very poorly translated. This is partly because they don't necessarily intend for their products to be used outside of their country of origin, but also because they can't be bothered to hire a native English translator. The results are funny, to say the least. Hence, you get products such as "Pocari Sweat" (which is available in North American stores that cater to Asians, such as T&T Supermarket) and t-shirts that read "Toilet Love" (this is available for sale on the website).
There is a flipside to this, all of which is the indirect result of the mainstreaming of Asian culture. Because of free trade and immigration, Asian culture is becoming very prevalent in North America. Japanese cartoons are routinely translated into English for Saturday morning, and have even become more popular than domestic product. The Chinese martial arts film "Hero" (aka Ying Xiong) is the current box-office draw. And, get dropped off in the middle of nowhere and you will find an Asian restaurant within walking distance. Heck, in my neighbourhood alone, there are three places you can get sushi, all on opposite street corners. And yes, I have eaten at all three of them.
Being a multicultural society, it is only fitting that most non-Asians person partake in the many facets of Asian culture, whether it be dining at an authentic Chinese restaurant (and not just ordering what can be best termed as Gwai-Lo Chinese food -- lemon chicken, egg foo yung, chicken chow mein), studying Tae-Kwon Do, or watching Rahsomon.
And then there are those who take it a little bit further. Too bad that they're taking it in the wrong direction.
One non-Asian guy I met at the gym had a particular Chinese character tattooed on his shoulder. Despite growing up in a Chinese household, my knowledge of the Chinese language is best described as weak, most of which I know being learned from repeated viewings of John Woo's "Hard-Boiled" (for example, if you point a gun at someone's head, you're supposed to say "mo yook", which means "don't move." That's good to know). But, I do know a couple other things about the written parts of Chinese. The conversation went as follows:
"So, you know what that character means, right?"
"Yeah, it's the year I was born."
(me shaking my head) "Uh...no."
"Yeah, man. It's the year I was born."
"Uh...no it's not."
(slightly desperate this time) "Yeah, man, it's the year I was born."
"Uh...that's only one character. The year you were born should have at least four characters."
"It's the year I was born."
"Dude it could say JACKASS for all you know."
"But it's the..."
"It just says "YEAR." That's all it says."
This is essentially the opposite of what they feature on Engrish.com. Somehow, I get the feeling that there is probably someone in Asia collecting photos of the poorly translated tattoos acquired by baka gai-jin (that's Japanese for "Stupid Foreigner").
Methinks he either thought it was cool looking and decided to go for it, or he's trying to pick up Chinese girls at the clubs (the epidemic of so-called "Yellow Fever" -- fetishization of Asian females -- is another negative aspect of mainstreaming of Asian culture). Word of advice, my gwai-lo friend. If you want to get something Chinese permanently scarred on your skin, do your research. Ask a Chinese person who actually speaks and writes Chinese. Then get a second, third, and fourth opinion.
This is when Asian culture is not so much as being mainstreamed as it's being white-washed.
Stuff like this shouldn't really bother me this much, although it's generally not expected of me anyway -- I don't look that much Chinese (today, another person had no clue as to my nationality). But, it dilution of culture is a shame in just about any culture.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
*BELCH*
While quite a few months before Thanksgiving, whenver I am involved in large gatherings with friends where a lot of food is involved, I am reminded of how I must be grateful for the things I have in life. I am grateful for the love and support of my friends and family. I am thankful for having a place to stay. I am especially grateful for my health.
But, most of all, I am grateful for my fast metabolism and active lifestyle that allows me to eat whatever the heck I want without gaining weight. While this becomes more of a hinderance than anything else (I become weak and lethargic if I don't eat very three hours and I still can't put on muscle mass to save my life, plus my food bill is higher than average), it does come in handy. Such as when you hold a get-together where food is involved, and everybody brings much more than they can eat.
Today, I threw a small housewarming/barbecue for my mom because she didn't really want to have a housewarming per se. So, I invited my friends over and prepared a few dishes. If they wanted to bring stuff, they did. Despite my mother's insistence that people bring stuff home (boxes upon boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, stacks of desert fruit pies, hamburger patties), they are now chilling in the fridge. On the plus side, this means I probably won't have to cook for the next few days.
My eating patterns have been quite erratic over the past week, as I also started doing a lot of my own cooking. Just on a whim, I downloaded a few recipes for muffins (banana chocolate chip and blueberry) . While the first ones ended up being a little on the doughy side (blended the batter a little too much, shoulda just "folded" the mixture), I still was eating them at a fairly rapid clip. During the week, I baked another batch of blueberry muffins for my sister, who just moved into a new place.
I ended up eating half of them in a four hour span. Mind you, it was only a half-dozen batch, but still, I remember what happened the last time I ate more than two of anything in any given time (refer to my first blog on Krispy Kreme doughnuts for more details). Thankfully, I made them myself so I knew very well what was in them. I immediately made another batch and made sure I left the house to my sister's as soon as they were finished baking. To ensure that I don't eat any on the way, I fill my stomach beforehand.
Monday, August 23, 2004
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[deep breath]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Possibly one of the more masochistic forms of entertainment, I spent the evening with my Capoeira class over at Vancouver's amusement park, Playland. Having went without going on a roller coaster for the better part of eight years, I forgot about two things: how long the lineups can get, and how frickin' fast these things go.
As the outing was provided complimentary courtesy of the people at PNE (our group was doing a demonstration on the 22nd of August), we got to go on every ride. Well, almost every ride.
This one new ride was introduced to replace The Rainbow (unfortunately, the name escapes me as of this moment...I think it was called 1001 Nights). While a diagram is better to describe it, it has a platform arm which stays upright while it is being spun around in a circle. As it drops, passengers almost float out of their seats (restraining arms keep this from happening). As The Rainbow was one of my favourites, I was eager to try this one out.
As we waited in line, we realized that the lineup wasn't moving. This was because there was a massive puddle of vomit right next to the exit which had to be cleaned up. We decided to come back after another ride. When we returned, we realized that again that the lineup wasn't moving. There were two separate puddles of vomit this time, which a guy was trying to wash away with a bucket of water. It's times like these where a hose is handy. Sadly, the group I'm with take this as a sign to try a different ride.
Somehow, I'm reminded of a time when I was attending BC Physics Day at Playland during high school physics. We had a friend who had the misfortune of going with a full stomach, so we goaded him to go on ride after ride after ride. As we left the Enterprise, he complained, "The puke is right here!", pointing to his throat. We all then got him to go onto the Tilt-A-Whirl (it didn't even take that much arm twisting). It was six of us, three of us in one car, three in another, which meant we didn't see our friend all the time. Although we do remember two distinct images: one of him clenching his eyes shut, concentrating really hard not to puke; the other with his head buried between his knees. We have since re-named this ride, "The Tilt-A-Hurl".
This is truth in advertising. Rethink Advertising is a company that has an account with Playland to handle their print, radio, and television advertisements. Since holding the account, they have won several awards and garnered some controversy among the more conservative types. Their recent print campaign featured on bus shelters and the Skytrain features models covered with foodstuffs and vomit (ie: "Vomit print by Crazy Beach Party", "Mustard motif by the Corkscrew", etc.).
I will always remember the infamous "Barf Cam" television ad which was unfortunately yanked after a few complaints. In it, the camera takes a POV shot from inside a person's stomach (you see little bits of partially digested matter) while you hear the sounds of the famous wooden rollercoaster (the clackety rumbling sounds, people screaming). The camera rises and you see a set of teeth, which opens up to reveal a guy's face. "Not now, man! Not now!" He says. The camera goes back down, but then all of a sudden shoots straight up into the air, past the row of teeth, past all the passengers in the rollercoaster, falling through the rollercoaster, as all these people are running out of the way to avoid getting hit by flying vomit. The last thing you see before it hits the ground is is the Playland logo. Cut to black.
(If anyone knows where I can download a copy of this ad, please let me know! "Barf Cam" doesn't yield any positive results when punched into google.com.)
One thing I'm realizing through all of this is that we're essentially paying for the privelege of pain (Rethink capitalizes on this in their ad campaign, which is one of the reasons for their success). They seem to think that we'd be willing to pay MORE for another particularly rough ride, The Hellevator. It costs an additional $5 to go on it.
So, I pay the additional $5 and start to rue the decision as soon as the restraining arm goes down and realize that there is no turning back. The fun (or not!) thing about this ride is that it shoots you straight up in the air with no warning whatsoever. As soon as I get off, I'm feeling slightly queasy and my hands are tingling. Fortunately, I have the foresight to stop eating two and a half hours previous. I am still on the verge of collapse as soon as I get off the ride, though.
Perhaps it was a good thing that we decided not to go on 1001 Nights after all...
Saturday, August 21, 2004
As a self-professed Person That Writes Things, I am constantly behind the keyboard, hacking away things that are as far away from the next Great Expectations or Tale of Two Cities as possible. Still, you can find me writing the occasional short screenplay, the odd movie review, and the frequent complaint letter to the local newspaper.
Take my latest published "work," for example.
Vancouver Sun editorials, Thursday, August 19th, 2004,
Re: Canadian prankster not funny: Games organizers, Aug. 18
The prankster's actions are a huge black mark against Canadian sports and an embarrassment to Canadians. The fact that this story made the front page only encourages people like Ron Benshimon. Sadly, he is getting the publicity he wants.
The only good thing is that it was probably one of the more benign ways to point out security holes at the Summer Games, and was preferable to an actual security threat.
-Vince Yim, Surrey.
I have a pretty good track record when it comes to getting stuff published in the Vancouver Sun, at least 70% of the letters I e-mailed got published. My very first piece was published back in 1995, when they were asking for opinions about the then-controversial cartoon show, Beavis and Butt-Head. At the time, I felt it was juvenile and puerile (although the film, Beavis and Butt-Head Do America is a work of comic genius). Anywho, the gist of my letter was that as much as I find it distasteful, it's still up to the parents (or whoever) to decide what their kids should be watching.
It was a pretty cool experience, having the Vancouver Sun photographer come over to my parents house to take my photo. They published it too. But, the caption at the bottom of my photo indicated that I wanted the show pulled off the air. Ah, the magic of editing.
These days, I keep all the letters I send to the Vancouver Sun really short and sweet (yet cynical and sarcastic, if possible) as to avoid major edits. Still, that doesn't keep that from happening. In one when I was writing to talk about the American stance on BC's film and lumber industry, I used the phrase "400 pound gorilla," but the editors converted it to metric.
As to the letters that don't get published? Vancouver Sun's rival publication, the Vancouver Province, once ran a front page headline saying words to the effect of ""Victim" comes forth with her story" (the word "victim" was put in quotation marks in the headline). This was around the time when there was a sexual harassment case between an SFU student and a swim coach (the coach was the alleged harasser and was dismissed from his job but evidence later revealed that the alleged victim was the actual harasser).
My response to the Vancouver Province was that regardless of the outcome, it should be up to the public to decide, as opposed to what essentially was a headline from a supermarket tabloid (plus, I also put the word "newspaper" in quotation marks). Needless to say, they didn't publish it.
Monday, August 16, 2004
In every twelve step program, the first step involves admitting that you have a problem.
My name is Vince. (Hi, Vince)
And I am completely whipped.
I can't remember when this all started to happen, although I do notice a bit of a pattern when I'm dealing with members of the opposite sex. In this day and age, a certain amount of chivalry is always appreciated, although with feminism becoming at one point more dominant than equal rights among genders, chivalry is becoming deader than disco. Nothing is more apparent when a male attempts to be a nice guy and holds a door open for a member of the opposite sex and is immediately responded with, "I can open my own doors." While incidents like these are actually decreasing, they are still causes for concern.
Yesterday, a person who I regularly deal with at martial arts ended up falling off her bike, causing multiple contusions and abraisions on her left arm and shoulder and spraining her wrists. She was attempting to carry several items (total weight: less than three pounds) to a vehicle, one of which was her handbag. Eschewing the fact that traditional male roles dictate that a male will treat a woman's handbag as radioactive (much like a tossed garter at a wedding), I elect to hold these items for her. At an initial glance, one may simply dismiss this as simple common courtesy. Those looking closer will see that I am voluntarily holding her purse.
Mind you, this was on top of a small stack of items, which meant I didn't actually have to touch it or anything. My excuse was that it didn't quite look like a purse at first (it was one of those handbags that are designed to look like a miniature gym bag).
This is nothing compared to an incident earlier in Spring, where a female coworker had a strap on her left shoe break during a shift. I offer to go to her car where she has another pair of shoes waiting for her so she doesn't have to walk barefoot to her car to retrieve them. While this isn't quite like laying my jacket down so she doesn't have to walk across a puddle and ruin her shoes, it's only after I retrieve her shoes that I realize the full implications of my actions.
That, and another female coworker observes, "I'd make someone a great boyfriend some day."
What makes it worse is that these are two people for whom I have no personal interest in, apart from being "just friends" or "just co-workers" (plus, at least one of them has a steady boyfriend already anyways). If I am willing to do this for people for whom I am "just friends" with, one can only imagine what I am willing to do for someone who I hold in a higher esteem (ie: want to be more than "just friends" with).
There does seem to be a pattern, though...if I have access to a vehicle and I am attending a group activity, I am more likely to offer a member of the opposite sex a ride home than I would if it were another guy. I consistently lie to myself and try to justify it, though, saying things like "I'm just being nice" or "It's in my nature to do so." Or, as I tell others, "My mom raised a gentleman. I'll introduce you to him some day." And when a member of the opposite sex comments, "That's awfully sweet of you" (or words to that effect), my immediate response is, "Eh, I work on it."
However, I do have my limits. I draw the line at purchasing feminine hygene products, even if asked. Or any of those other weird items that one finds in a woman's medicine cabinet, for that matter.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
A while ago, I was mentioning a crazy art project which involved custom painting a computer case to my liking. After about a week of being holed up in a garage and inhaling sanded paint dust and paint fumes, the work has been complete. Well, sorta.
Click here to take a look...
It's sorta pedestrian when compared to some of the other whacked out jobs some of the other people have been known to do, but it sorta reflects what I enjoy doing, taking stuff and making it my own. I already did the same to two cell phones.
I would do a lot more, but doing so would void the warranty in a lot of cases. The reason why I can do it with cell phones is because the faceplates are removable (especially on Nokia phones, which is the main reason why I prefer them over other brands).
Monday, August 02, 2004
I learned two things today.
1: Communication is key. I thought I was meeting a bunch of friends Downtown so we could go inline skating on the sea wall. Being that I had an appointment to make at 1:30PM and it would take me 40 minutes to blade down there. I called at 11:45 and they said that they'd be there in fifteen minutes. I go get pizza while waiting. I call back at 12:30 and tell them that I'm leaving to meet them later.
Forty minutes wasted because they were under the impression that I was going to meet up with them following my appointment. Given the rate at which they rollerblade, I was able to catch up fairly quickly.
This is either the result of me not being clear of my intentions or someone not listening, but if both of us had a clear idea of what was going on, I wouldn't be sitting on my ass next to a statue of an old woman on a park bench waiting for my friends to not show up.
We did meet up later on, but first...
2: I am either way too lazy, or way too arrogant. I managed to screw up at that appointment. That appointment was my belt testing for the upcoming batizado for my Capoeira studio. Instructor Negao was listing off moves that I knew how to do, but I didn't know the names for them. Worst of all, I was asked to sing a Capoeira song in Portuguese. It went something like this...
Sinha mandou me pegar / Na ladeira do Pia / Os feitores de sinha / Nao conseguem me agarrar
Sou um negro quilombola / Angoleiro do Pia...
[Ten second pause as I spontaneously forget the next line]
So heranca de Zumbi / Ganga Zumba e Oxala
Luto pela liberdade
[another ten second pause as I try to remember the last two lines of the verse]
Nao sou peca pra sinha
Camara
E Angola e / E Angola a / E Angola e Capoeira / E Angola
Obviously, I need more practice (which my instructor points out). Understandably, I get marked much harsher on this part, because if I am to be leading the singing in the roda, I can't really stumble over the lines like that. The second part, where I'm asked to sing two more Capoeira songs goes a little more smoothly.
Sai sai Catarina / sai a do mer venha ver Idalina / Sai sai Catarina / Catarina venha ver / Sai sai Catarina
Zum-zum-zum Capoeira mata um (zum-zum-zum Capoeira mata um) [4x] / hoje tem maribom (e zum-zum-zum) [4x].
The general Q&A (general history of Capoeira, concepts and philosphy, my place in the group, etc.) I do a little better on. But, I know that I could have done signifcantly better, considering that I actually knew all the answers that I ended up blowing.
I really don't have anyone I can blame for that, nor do I wish to. But it's still a humbling experience to have your ass handed to you. That happens to me more often than not, which makes me one of the more humble folks around.
