Musings from a Person That [sic] Writes Things

On Amber Alerts, Randall Hopley, and "the system"

2011-09-17T11:30:00.001-07:00

With the safe return of Kienan Hébert and the subsequent arrest of Randall Hopley, a lot of questions remain, many of which are directed at authorities for not issuing the Amber Alert sooner. I have a few of my own questions, mostly pertaining to the shortfalls of the way we deal with mental health and sexual deviancy.

As a society, we're pretty merciless against those that would perform sex crimes against children, and justifiably so. Among other things, children represent innocence and hope for a brighter future. For someone to intentionally violate that is reprehensible and shameful, and if the crime is done against someone you know and care about (eg: your own), it's that much more personal. Hence, it's one of the many things that explains the outpouring of support for Kienan's safe return and the utter revulsion that we tend to feel towards the likes of Randall Hopley.

We view pedophilia as such a social taboo that the mere accusation is sufficient to cause irreparable harm to one's reputation, regardless if it is unfounded. There has even been one instance where a pediatrician was moving to a new town, but an unfortunately misworded announcement, caused a lot of undue embarrassment. The sentiment, "Pedophiles are pure evil" has been mentioned by people I know on more than a few occasions as well.

I feel that phrases like that grossly oversimplify the problem. I'm of the school of thought that it's our actions that define us, rather than things like brain chemistry and genetic makeup. But more to the point, simply dismissing anyone with tendencies towards pedophilia as "evil" doesn't attempt to understand the full nature of the problem or do anything to protect our children.

My late father was a mental health professional working at Riverview Hospital. As a psychiatric nurse and a member of a labor union, seeing my dad at home while the nursing staff went on job action was a recurring memory from my childhood. I was too young to understand it back then, but I do remember my father saying things about how they were looking to shutter institutions like Riverview in favour of more "community based" mental health care resources.

For better or for worse, that seems to be the case now, and we're paying the price for it. Police have replaced mental health professionals, as the mentally ill are being released from institutions and into the community...and onto the streets, homeless shelters, and inside prison cells. In the search of more cost effective solutions, the approach seems to be to assign a band-aid solution when a tourniquet is needed.

I think that it's safe to say that sexual deviancy, especially that of which would involve harming minors, is a mental disorder [citation needed]. However, given that the prospect of harming minors is such a societal taboo, we're too uncomfortable to proactively tackle the issue head-on.

Getting back to the whole, "Pedophiles are pure evil" bit. Indeed, infamous child killer Clifford Olsen is clearly "evil" in the classic sense - he's displayed no remorse for his crimes, has not shown any interest in rehabilitation, and puts the families of the victims through the emotional ringer again and again with parole hearing, which he receives every two years under Canadian law. And personally speaking, I think the world would be a much safer place without the likes of him around.

The reality is that there are people out there who do have levels of sexual deviancy and either haven't acted on them, or have acted on them but haven't been caught. As for those who haven't acted on it, there are several possible reasons as to why, such as the consequences of being caught, the absolute guilt and horror of what they are capable of, and utter and public shame that would result.

If the shame and fear of being caught is keeping potential pedophiles in check, that's probably the only good thing about it, as it's largely a band-aid solution. Given the way we tend to react against those that would harm children, no one would admit to ever having this problem, which allows the problem to go unchecked. Those who admitted that they have a problem have no resources or means to treat it. There was at least one instance in which a convicted sex offender repeatedly asked for help to deal with his compulsions from various mental health professionals, but after given useless advice, ended up crossing the line [citation needed].

There have been discussions as to possible solutions, although a lot of people are just way too uncomfortable to entertain the idea. In general, most sexual health professionals do not view pornography as gateway towards sexual deviancy and sexual predation, and some would argue that there is a negative correlation between availability of pornography and sex crimes. There have been arguments towards the production of pornography that does NOT involve the use of minors at all (eg: hand-drawn and/or computer generated images) as a possible therapeutic tool, but given that some of the more uptight communities are known for perceiving hentai (Japanese pornographic comics) as "obscene", limits its availability.

While the act of preying against children is certainly morally reprehensible, assigning moral responsibility for the act is something I'm not comfortable doing ("Only God Can Judge Me"), especially since it could very well be due to mental disorders, or our level of discomfort with treating them. But, in terms of scale, one thing I do find worse is the use of society's perception of sexual crimes and deviancy as a blunt weapon.

As someone who has does group activities that involve people of all ages (specifically, Rubik's Cube speed solving and martial arts), it's likely that I'm going to be regularly spending time with minors. Competitive Rubik's Cube speed solving proportionally involves a lot more minors than martial arts, although people I regularly have conversations with in my speed solving are adults, especially when it comes to planning upcoming events.

I found myself in a Facebook group chat session which involved one or two of my regular (adult) contacts and the rest of them being minors. After a few comments were exchanged, I made an off-hand joke about me being the oldest one there, at which point one of the newer group members (with whom I'm unfamiliar) made some snide remark about hanging out with a bunch of kids, calling me a "creep" for doing so.

Operating under that logic, that would probably mean that any adult male who works exclusively with children, from primary school educators, daycare workers, pediatricians, to children's entertainers, would automatically be a "creep" or "pervert" for doing so.

It's safe enough to assume that she didn't know that I was with the local competitor scene from the beginning (was the primary organizer behind two competitions), and given the tendency for the anonymity of the Internet to allow people to turn into complete jerks, I could've let that one slide, but given the implications, the comment made me angry enough to react (although not immediately).

We live in a society in which a teenage girl will get an "F" in class, and in retribution, will make a frivolous accusation of sexual misconduct from her teacher, causing him to lose his job, his friends, and his reputation, even if the allegations are founded to be untrue. I find actions like this to be even worse than those of actual pedophiles for several reasons.

For starters, untrue allegations of sex crimes will cause doubt to be cast on actual instances of sex crimes. Additionally, the reputation of being a liar is infinitely more benign than the unjustified reputation of being a pederast. But most of all, if it turns out that sexual deviancy towards harming minors is a mental illness for which actual sexual deviants can't get the appropriate treatment, to those that would throw around false accusations, I ask: what's your excuse?

I've since permanently banned her from the group.

Indeed, children do need our protection and anyone who would perpetrate sex offenses against children must never go unpunished. With that in mind, the way in which we protect our children must be a lot more proactive if we want our children to be safe. And treatment towards potential sexual deviants needs to be a lot more effective and available, and people should be able to seek it out if it is necessary.

The Milgram Experiment, the Bystander Effect, and the Vancouver Riot

2011-06-26T21:57:00.001-07:00

The Milgram experiments of the 60s were part of a study on human social psychology, specifically how individuals react to authority figures. In the actual experiment, the test subject was given a button which they were told would deliver a nasty electric shock to an unseen participant (actually a voice recording). The experimenter would ask a series of questions to the unseen participant and would direct the test subject to push the button, while increasing the voltage for each incorrect answer.

With successive shocks, the unseen participant can be heard reacting in pain, often banging against the wall and complaining of a heart condition. If at any point, the test subject raised any objections, the experimenter would prompt the test subject to continue, while assuring the test subject that he or she would not be held responsible for whatever happened. The experiment would end if the test subject refused to continue or if the test subject delivered a fatal or incapacitating shock.

Given the morals and ethics behind such an action, researchers polled initially believed that only 1 to 3% would be willing to deliver a fatal shock to the unseen participant. The first time the experiment was conducted, 26 out of 40 test subjects were willing to deliver a fatal shock (65%). The experiment has been duplicated several times, each time indicating a surprising percentage of people who were willing to carry out these actions within the scenario, most of whom (if not all) were your average, everyday law-abiding citizen. The test subjects who delivered a supposedly fatal shock also expressed discomfort, yet proceeded anyway.

Stanley Milgram (the psychologist for whom the experiments are named) created the experiment in response to a recent trial of a Nazi war criminal. While not necessarily a defense (ie: "I was following orders"), the findings do have some very interesting (if disturbing) implications for human nature. Indeed, how does one explain why average ordinary citizens who would never steal or murder, are prone to be willing to commit these acts when thrust into specific situations?

As an ardent info-junkie, I've been regularly following the news on the Vancouver Riot ever since the first car was set on fire. As the city has been working to rebuild their now-tarnished image, the courts are trying to bring certain individuals to justice while social media is actively working to identify and shame the individuals responsible for the riot.

The initial assessment from the Vancouver mayor and the Vancouver chief of police were that the riot was the work of recognized anarchists who specifically came to the downtown area specifically intent on causing trouble, and surely enough, some of them were recognized as the same ones that came to Vancouver during the 2010 Olympics specifically to vandalize the city. And yes, people specifically came to the downtown core with weapons, Molotov cocktails, and other tools of destruction, and would thus represent a very small segment of the people who came to watch the Canucks ~~lose~~ play.

What caught a few people off guard was the fact that the bulk of the people being formally charged with related crimes (assault, arson, vandalism, inciting a riot, etc.) do not fit the "typical" profile of a serial rioter. None of them have prior arrest records, and are often saying that they were "caught in the moment" (or variations to that effect). This was one of the reasons given by one Camille Cancino, who was caught looting from a Black & Lee formal wear store in her widely-slammed apology (which she has since edited to remove any sort of justification or explanation for her actions).

I'm not quite ready to make up my mind on the public digital shaming thing yet. In this Web 2.0 era and proliferation of cameras on cell phones, it was inevitable that anyone doing acts of destruction and violence would be caught on camera and identified, so anybody who was down there really should've known better.

In the intervening week and a half since the city burned, I read everything I could about it, from blogs to editorials to Facebook groups. There's a wide mix of emotions, with blind rage being the most prominent. It has certainly motivated a lot of social network mavens to identify the people who were involved in this, which has led to several of them turning themselves in, while also giving proper due to the rare heroes of downtown who were attempting to stem the damage. At the same time, it's also brought about reactions towards some involved individuals which seem disproportionate, such as the death threats towards the family of Nathan Kotylak, prompting them to flee their home.

A general public this angry clearly wants their pound of flesh, but to them, I propose this: You can have either satisfy your bloodlust, or the guilty parties can repay their debts to society. You cannot have both.

The relative ease at which typically law-abiding people are capable of committing criminal acts when thrust in certain situations would suggest that this is much less of a black and white issue than the purveyors of social media justice are making it out to be. This is not to excuse any of them, as most the people left the area as soon as the game was over. But I ask, if 65% of people are able to deliver a fatal electric shock to a complete stranger, how culpable are people in this situations, and what is an appropriate way for the judiciary system to deal with them? In this case, maybe a philosophy degree might have more use than a law degree.

Again, this is not an excuse for these people. This was a shameful act against the people who have worked hard to make the city the way it is, whether it be the business owners, tax payers, or the public services (ie: police, firefighters, ambulatory services), and things like this should never be allowed to occur again. However, I'm not really for living in a police state, and the years following the last hockey riot, Vancouver got dubbed as a "no fun city."

As people are trying to make sense of the whole Vancouver riot, there are lots of theories, whether it's herd instinct and the bystander effect, piss-poor parenting, our narcissistic and materialistic world view, failure to establish a sense of responsibility and morals among a frustrated youth, strong identification with our hockey team, or whatever. Or maybe there are just some people out there who want to see the world burn and know how easily the razor thin veneer of civilization can shatter.

If the same types of people came to our next big event (like the off-hand chance that the Canucks make it to the 2012 finals), it's not likely that we'll be seeing a repeat of the Vancouver Riot, given how fresh the memories are. But if it's another 17 years until another SCF, people will definitely have forgotten and a new generation of youth will be ready to riot as soon as a car is overturned.

One way we can prevent this is if we have better education about this, to remind the people what happens when people act as passive observers, and how susceptible people are to influence. As part of the judgments handed down towards participants in the riots, if their sentences include community service, it should be mandatory that they give talks to local high schools to tell of their experiences, especially as to how it relates to the online shaming campaigns. An active effort to educate people about the bystander effect and actually promote the idea of standing up for what's right might help, or at least stem some of the damage caused by things like this.

But these are just ideas. Anyone know who can implement this?

Stanley Cup Playoffs, a post mortem

2011-06-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

With the sheer amount of press that the Vancouver Riots of 2011 have generated, entire books could be written deconstructing the event, trying to find causes, and ways to prevent it from happening again. But as it is, all I have an opinion (about as informed as I can make it) and a blog, rather than a background in sociology, psychology, and media studies.

Having indirectly lived through the Stanley Cup Riots in 1994 (I didn’t hear about the riots until the next day), experienced the glory of Canada Olympic Hockey gold in 2010, and escaped the chaos of the Stanley Cup riots just this week (and being unable to stop watching the internet video stream for 4 hours straight as soon as I got home), I have to say that the relationship between Vancouver and hockey has been pretty bizarre.

Even though I’m a casual fan of the Canucks (lack of cable subscription and insufficient budget to watch a game live), the Stanley Cup playoffs have been a fairly welcome distraction to my life (and an unwelcome subtraction from my wallet!) over the past two months. I do like a good hockey game and there have been a lot of good (and not so good) examples of that over the past two months of following the Canucks. But, it has given a lot of people something to talk about, for better or for worse.

Having been following the Canucks in 1994 during their run to the Stanley Cup Finals, I remember some really exciting games and friendly rivalries between teams and fans (especially during the series vs. the Toronto Maple Leafs). But, not being old enough to understand a lot of things about people in general, I simply took it as was and just enjoyed it, and like many was disappointed when the Canucks were unable to capture the cup back then, and was pretty flabbergasted by the rioting that followed. Flash forward 17 years, where I have a (slightly) better understanding of things in general and we now have instant on-demand access to information, news, and social media.

Over the course of the four rounds (Chicago, Nashville, San Jose, Boston), I’ve noticed distinctly changes of the behavior among the players, fans, and the media. Obviously, fans moods and the tone of the press will vary depending on the success of their team, although I’m just wondering if we’re actually emulating player behavior or being influenced a lot more than we realize.

The Chicago series was a particular nail biter, with the Canucks blowing a three-game lead before taking game 7. This particular series was seasoned with memories of the Canucks’ elimination by Chicago last year, punctuated with criticisms of “dirty” hits and plays from both the media and fans.

Nashville and San Jose were comparatively uneventful (outside of a flashing incident involving a particularly fetching Canucks fan and the Sharks penalty box), with Vancouver fans freely travelling back and forth between cities with no incident. At the same time, these were the more enjoyable games of the series, regardless of the outcome.

And then there was the Boston Bruins series. For whatever reasons, this was a particularly ugly series for the players, the fans, and the media. There were multiple reports of fan abuse from both sides (Lucic’s grandparents being pelted with foodstuffs at the Rogers Arena, Canucks fans being assaulted and urinated upon in the TD arena), while the game on the ice was punctuated with controversial hits and plays (Aaron Rome on Nathan Horton resulting in a suspension, Johnny Boychuck on Mason Raymond resulting in no suspension, biting incidents, etc.), all the media is fanning the flames with ugly depictions of the fans and the opposing players, while Boston fans troll the Vancouver media message boards to further fan the flames.

Team rivalry can make for a more exciting series, especially when it is mostly in good fun, but when it becomes ugly like this, it defies explanation. I don’t know if it’s a function of cultural differences between Vancouver and Boston (reportedly, Montreal Canadiens fans faced similar abuse from Boston fans early in the playoffs), but isn’t this going a little bit too far? Even with the mean-streets reputation of New York (pre-9/11), the 1994 Stanley Cup series weren’t nearly this heated.

And then the riots happened.

Sure, I was disappointed when the Canucks entered the third period without a single goal, so I made a point of leaving mid-way, partly to beat the rush of the crowd, but mostly as a precautionary measure, given memories of the riot in 1994. Upon leaving the downtown area via Skytrain and waiting for the bus to take me home, I engaged in small-talk with another passenger who informed me that a car was flipped over in the downtown area. Upon arriving at home, I logged onto the internet and was glued to the screen for 4 hours as the chaos unfolded, so engrossed that I failed to realize that my friends were trapped downtown with nowhere to go (to which I submit my public apology to Kat, Barry, Nicole, Sabrina, and Crystal for not checking in on them until the next morning).

Given the complex nature of mob psychology, it’s impossible to blame any one individual or cause. Among the many cited:

Complacency due to the peaceful atmosphere of the Vancouver Olympics in 2010
Putting up large screens in the downtown area, flooding the areas past capacity
Police failing to act in an appropriate manner
Known anarchists who came with riot equipment (weapons, gas masks, etc.) specifically with the intent of inciting a riot
Curiosity seekers who were giving the actual rioters an audience and making it more difficult for the police to separate them
The narcissism of social media inspiring kids to pose on top of overturned cars and in front of burning objects, giving tacit approval to the rioting
The Canucks for promoting an atmosphere of violence and losing in the first place
Lackadaisical parenting for allowing “good kids” to get caught up in the riot
Our culture of stupid idiots emulating their heroes from Jersey Shore and Jackass.

Not being a firsthand witness to the destruction, my experience pales in comparison to those who were trapped in the downtown area, although I was still sickened by the destruction and the reactions from the crowd, either for participating or encouraging the destruction. My only solace was the knowledge that this entire event was being recorded by many, even by the participants themselves.

Then came the reactions. Around the world, Vancouver was reduced to a laughing stock, losing the glory and reputation from hosting the Olympic games just one year ago. Those anticipating a weak response from the judicial system utilized the social media to help bring those responsible to justice, while the names of certain individuals are dragged through the mud. Meanwhile, the cleanup effort was being organized while the city still burned, while people continue to debate as to what caused this, and more importantly, how to stop this from happening again.

My immediate reaction was horror and embarrassment. Of all the things to riot over, this was by far the most frivolous. There was no political statement to be made, and the loss of the Canucks provided sufficient fuel for the anarchists that came specifically to stir up trouble. Video evidence shows rioters treating the wanton destruction like a party.

Somehow, I’m reminded of Pleasure Island (or “Land of Toys”, if you follow the book), the cursed island from Pinocchio where the fun-seeking boys abandoning school work are transformed into donkeys, causing them to rampage and destroy the island attractions. I suspect the creators of MTV’s Jackass didn’t have that analogy in mind when creating the show.

Overall, I’m angered, much like the bulk of the population of Vancouver. In large numbers, people just stood by and watched, even when they were told to leave. Individual heroes attempted to guard storefronts and keep the city out of the hands of rioters and looters, with no backup, causing several of them to be severely injured. Our culture of passive involvement and fear of being sued is one of the many contributing factors to this riot, but is one that I hope we have a better chance of fixing than the Canucks’ power play.

While I may have done the “right” thing by leaving early, making it so the police would have one less person to worry about, part of me still wishes I was standing alongside the lone heroes, or at least riling up the crowd to stand alongside them instead of just standing by and watching. Indeed, Robert MacKay, the individual guarding the Bay storefront, was viciously assaulted and beaten by about 15 different people for doing the right thing, with very little backup. If at least 20 people were backing him up, it would be an entirely different story.

In order to keep this from happening again, we will need constant reminders of this event. In the unlikely event that the Canucks make another appearance in the 2012 Stanley Cup Finals, I doubt that the riot will be a repeat event, given how fresh the memories will be by then. Over the past 17 years, memories have faded and many lessons from 1994 were forgotten.

I do not want to see this again. The riot brought out the worst in all of us, ranging from the participants in the riot who got caught up in the moment to the online shaming campaign that resulted in death threats towards confessed rioters. It also brought out the best in some of us, specifically those who came together to stop the damage and clean up. And it also revealed a dark side of Vancouver, which is always the case when we have any sort of catastrophe. Why is it that we can’t learn unless horrible things happen?

In the hopes that we don’t see this again, here’s what I’d really like to see:

A public education campaign through the Vancouver Canucks to encourage fans to stay well behaved regardless of the game’s outcome.
Given the intentions of an organized group of thugs, the people of Vancouver must also be similarly organized. The message must get out that in the event of trouble, the people who are there to watch the game must either leave or band together to defend the city, and only stop to take photos if you are among those that have banded together to defend the city. Too few heroes emerged among the chaos and too many people were standing around and observing, continuing to fuel the chaos.
Those accused of rioting must be involved in any public education campaign. The faces and names of those involved have been dragged through the mud, costing them their futures, their friends, and their jobs. People need to be reminded that no matter where you are, you will be caught, and in the event that the judicial system is weak, the public will ensure that you pay for it, and either way, your life as you know it will be ruined. This will also allow for some level of redemption for those, as well as allow for the city to heal.

Much I am for the like the chances of a Canucks Stanley Cup victory, I am “forever faithful” that the city will learn from its mistakes, but only time will tell.

Letting boys be...girls? (citations probably needed)

2011-03-02T22:51:00.003-08:00

Over the past few days, I've read some come across some pretty interesting things on the internet that have really got the brain churning regarding the topic of growing up as a guy in today's society. Among them:

National Post blogger Barbara Kay responds to the study that indicates that men are largely unwilling to donate their sperm for free, and that there should be government intervention. Kay disagrees.
Ali Carr-Chellman gives an interesting talk featured on TED in which she discusses how the modern school system has failed young boys and how video games can actually be a positive thing in re-engaging them in learning.
A group of Washington state middle schoolers were recently expelled for organizing their own Fight Club. Obviously, somebody broke the first and second rule of Fight Club.

The second and third brought out some memories of elementary school (not always good ones) and the first one brought to light a potentially damaging mentality that may explain the challenges that modern boys (and to a lesser extent girls) face as they are growing up today and what they can look forward to.

Carr-Chellman's talk about the modern school system sounded like a accurate recollection of my elementary school days, even though they are many, many years apart. As she describes, there is not much that young boys can relate to in the modern classroom. She argues that the dearth of male teachers (and other male role models), draconian enforcement of zero tolerance policies, and being made to express themselves about things that are simply not relevant to them have driven them away from academics into a world ruled by Orcs and Elves.

That was my childhood. I wasn't particularly good at sports, so relating to my peers was difficult. Reading was made into a chore, so rather than disappearing into books, my world was a virtual one. It would probably account for a lot of my current level of social skill and why I'm not as good with talking to people as I'd like (especially members of the opposite sex), but whatever. It's done. But, what I had back then that boys do not have was the ability to express myself in writing. This probably explains why I do what I do.

During my formative years (and for those who I knew back then can attest), I wrote some pretty horrible stuff. Not necessarily poorly written (although some of it likely was), but the kind of stuff that would get kids in a lot of trouble today. One collaborative fiction assignment I was particularly proud of initiating was a story about Barney the Purple Dinosaur being captured by a team of scientists that used gene splicing to turn him into a blood-thirsty killing machine and the ensuing massacre that took place. After the story was handed to one classmate to continue, he immediately "ended" it, evidently too disgusted to continue the story. A female classmate got a hold of it and the violence and bloodshed continued on paper. I felt slightly vindicated after that.

Another classmate initiated a story which depicted me attempting to kill the English teacher's cat. And yes, I probably had way too much fun continuing the blood and carnage and making it even more violent (I actually compared an exploding skull to the microwaving of a raw egg). The teacher in question actually read that one and nobody got in trouble for it. In the wake of the Columbine massacre, the result today would've been suspension and a meeting with the school counselor.

As to the increased attention given towards the unhealthy amount of time that boys are spending on video games, it's entirely possible that these worlds are the only thing that allows them to get their aggressive tendencies out. Over the years, political correctness and the need to be nice to people who aren't particularly nice to us has made for a lot of frustration without any healthy means of dealing with it. During my childhood, it was bad enough dealing with bullies, as I was given the constant message that it was wrong to hit back and sure enough, I didn't. And of course, telling on bullies will make the problem worse, so that didn't happen either. Not being equipped to deal with it, I took my bruises which I still remember, and probably affects me today (although I'm working on that).

It's worse for kids now, when retaliatory actions, even when in self-defense, will land the victim in more trouble than the bully, leaving the "weaker" boys (note the use of quotation marks) in an environment where they don't feel like they belong. Forget about "play"fighting (which was grounds for punishment when I was in elementary school). Nowadays, if a child brings an action figure to school carrying an accessory that no sane person would perceive as a deadly weapon, that child faces disciplinary action.

The fight club incident in Washington state is indicative of the problem and represents a very significant opportunity. The reality is that most boys do have tendencies towards aggression. Mine didn't manifest physically, but it was still there. But simply ignoring them will not make them go away, and it needs to be channeled in a positive way. We've evolved past the age where there would be maximum benefit for it on a regular basis (we don't have to hunt for buffalo anymore, we just go to the grocery store, and there's no way that checkout lines require that much aggression in order to survive), but it should be realized that "aggression" is not necessarily synonymous with "violence."

As barbaric as it might sound to our PC sensibilities, an after school fight club could have some potential benefits to it, provided that it's done within a controlled (read: supervised) and safer environment. After essentially being reduced to caged animals in the classroom and not being allowed to be "boys", there's a lot of pent up frustration and aggression that's built up. If it's released in an environment like this, boys can get their physical activity (a must in the light of cuts to physical education programs) and also just as important, they learn to stand up for themselves. And as much as these "nice guys" are pleasant to have around, the world is relentlessly cruel to them. They will miss out on countless opportunities, they will have their hearts broken countless times over, they will never have respect, and they will never reach their full potential.

But given the pacification of people today (and the fear of lawsuits), it's extremely unlikely that something like that would ever be sanctioned by parents or educators, which is unfortunate. Parents will always want to protect their kids, and now with GPS tracking devices and the ability to (ab)use the legal system, they can do that. But that's also doing a significant disservice, and it's ultimately futile, as kids will get hurt. It's part of growing up. The only thing a parent can (and should) actually do is equip them so they can protect themselves.

This generally isn't happening either. This is a world where men are becoming increasingly obsolete, regardless of what the glass ceiling might say about income disparity. Certain male roles (e.g.: hunting down buffalo) have been outmoded by industrialism, and as Barbara Kay's editorial indicates, largely suggests that to a certain degree, men have been reduced to providers of sperm. Indeed, with fathers increasingly out of the picture (working extremely long hours to support the family or being reduced to weekend parents after the custody battle left the children in care of the mother), boys are going to be left behind a lot more until the problem is recognized and dealt with, or we pull our collective heads from our asses and realize that it's not about us, but for our children's futures.

And for the women that say that there are no good guys left? You're exactly right. And there is a reason for it.

Comparing Apples and Android-anges

2011-03-01T08:07:00.002-08:00

"ATTN: Steve Jobs. Suck it! Your pal, A. Droid Sent from an Android device"

The competition between smartphone manufacturers is a particular interest. With smartphone functionality approaching that of a personal home computer at a fraction of the size, it's no surprise that smartphone sales have outpaced PC sales for the first time late last year (of course, there are other factors, such as the replacement rate and upfront costs of a computer vs. a smartphone). Smartphones have also become a lot like home computers in that consumers have largely been "encouraged" to pick a side. And, much like the Windows/Mac rivalry, Android/iPhone also have their respective cult followings.

Flashback, 2009. I was in the market for a new laptop computer and I had a certain amount of money I was willing to spend. I asked for recommendations on my Facebook wall and was greeted with, "Get a Macbook if you don't want a virus-ridden piece of junk." While I've been a Windows PC user for over 20 years, I don't completely disagree with this very common perception from Mac users. Microsoft constantly updates Windows as security exploits are discovered, and indeed, the vast majority of viruses and malware are written specifically for Windows systems. However, those with that perception also conveniently ignore the fact that Mac OS makes up less than 10% of the total market share, whereas the last three versions of Windows make up a total of over 85%. If you're the type of person that would want to cause the most damage, you'd go for the biggest target.

But as for "better"? I generally argue that there is no such thing as a "better" system, rather a "more suitable" system. I use a Mac at work and a PC at home and I get good use out of both. My Windows 7 PC takes care of my everyday stuff like games, browsing, and Adobe Creative Suite reasonably well (I'm still running CS2), while I've become accustomed to doing graphic design realted stuff with my work Mac. And contrary to what the Mac pundits say, programs DO crash on a Mac, arguably just as often as PC. I do not notice an appreciable improvement in performance or stability when going from PC to Mac, so for my money, I'm still pretty content with my PC, at least for my usage patterns. If I choose to go into serious video editing, I could probably consider a Mac (Final Cut Pro is a lot better than Adobe Premiere, or at least the versions I've used). But given that Adobe CS is available on Mac AND Windows, I'll stick with Windows for now.

Back on topic. I tried to keep fanboyism at bay when choosing a new phone, as my choice largely boiled down to iPhone, Android, or Blackberry. All three platforms have a lot going for them - Blackberry has wide adoption for business use and has their own dedicated messaging network, Apple for their large marketplace of applications, Android for wide variety of hardware. Nokia was briefly a consideration, mostly due to the fact that the last four phones I owned were Nokia, although given their reduced presence in the North American market and lack of decent products, brand loyalty suddenly ceased to be an issue.

Between the various phone types, I ended up with the HTC Desire Z (the phone that's pictured above, which the Android mascot is using to send a little "friendly" gesture to Apple co-founder Steve Jobs). Among my many reasons for picking this phone in general...

Key features missing from iPhone 4: physical keyboard, expandable memory, replaceable battery. The last one is important, because you don't have the option of swapping out the battery in a pinch. If it dies, it dies.
Key features missing from Blackberry: comfortable physical keyboard.
Virtually unlimited customizeability
The fact that just about everyone else has an iPhone, which is a little bit funny to me considering that the stereotype of Apple users is that they are trying to be individuals. By all getting the same phone.
Price. Buying an iPhone with a similar configuration will be $150+ more. And that's if I can actually get one.

After getting my phone unlocked for my network (originally purchased under Bell, unlocked for Fido) and working out all the kinks, so far I'm pretty satisfied with my phone, but also realize that there are some drawbacks to being on the Android system.

While Android is open source, it essentially ceases to be that after phone manufacturers get their hands on it. Phone manufacturers and carriers put on a customized version of the user interface, which heavily contributes to the fragmentation issue. Because the phone is running a customized version of Android, getting an update to the next version of the operating system has to go through the phone manufacturer first, THEN your carrier. With the multiple versions of the UI across different manufacturers and models, you can expect to wait a really long time for your upgrades, if at all. HTC supposedly has the best track record for upgrading their phones (average wait to upgrade phones running Android 2.1 to 2.2 was 2 months), the latest version of Android (2.3) won't be officially available until the Summer.

This is akin to one of the issues faced by PC users when it comes to software compatibility, which is something touted by reasons to switch to Mac. With the infinite possible hardware configurations of Windows-based PCs, there will be a chance that your setup will not be 100% compatible with the latest game or the productivity suite. This doesn't happen on Macs, at least not as often.

Overall, I am pretty happy with my phone, although my biggest gripes are to do with Bell than with Android or HTC, which has prompted me to consider rooting the phone (similar to jailbreaking an iPhone), although not for the purpose of installing unauthorized apps, but for getting rid of the preinstalled apps that I will never use. Unlike a Windows PC that comes preinstalled with demos and programs that you can get rid of at your leisure, the applications that come preinstalled on a smartphone require a bit of tinkering that will end up voiding the warranty. After a while, though, I kind of just ignore the apps I don't use anyway.

And about battery life, it will always depend on your usage patterns. I know of people who can go for several days without recharging a Blackberry even with heavy use, whereas I can usually get max two days out of my phone (less if I'm playing a lot of Angry Birds, as the display accounts for most of the battery consumption). While Android has gotten flack for high battery drain, iPhone users can experience the same.

In the end, don't believe the hype. Pick the phone that suits YOUR needs, not just because everyone else has one.

The Beiber and the Damage Done

2011-02-17T17:41:00.005-08:00

As an unrepentant info junkie, I’m on Google News a lot. With the media’s obsession with celebrities, certain names usually come up, such as Lady Gaga, Charlie Sheen, and now Justin Beiber. And as an info junkie, I’ll casually browse through whatever is there.

I’ve long since passed the age when certain entertainers raise my ire, although in my younger days, the likes of the New Kids on the Block and the Spice Girls would have me plugging my ears and leaving the room. Nowadays, I’ve gotten pretty ambivalent to the latest pop sensations, although I do lament only hearing a small segment of Justin Beiber’s “One Time” in a video promo and having it stuck in my head ever since. Regardless, it’s not worth the energy to get worked up over or blogging about, even more so since I’m well past the age when Rolling Stone was relevant.

I will get worked up about this month’s Rolling Stone interview with “the Beib,” however. In the interview, the 16 year old pop star is asked questions regarding politics (loves Canadian healthcare, jokingly says that America is evil), sex (believes that love should preclude sex, fair enough), and rape and abortion.

Given the incendiary nature of the topic when spoken about by anyone of note, the top news sites calling out the fact that Beiber admitted to being against abortion, even in the cases of sexual assault...that is, in the headlines, completely stripping away any context.

Toronto Sun: Bieber weighs in on abortion
MSNBC: Justin Bieber: 'I really don't believe in abortion'
Washington Post: Jonathan Capehart: Justin Bieber's tough love on abortion
Ear Sucker: Justin Bieber really doesn't like abortion

New York Daily News: Justin Bieber in Rolling Stone: Abortion is 'killing a baby' - even in cases of rape

Macleans.ca - Justin Bieber says you got raped for a reason, ladies
New York Magazine - Here Is the Abortion Conversation Justin Bieber Will Be Apologizing for Tomorrow

Hoo-boy. Why not ask a 16-year old born-and-raised Christian celebrity his opinion on same-sex unions while you’re at it? Oh wait, they did.

Lez Get Real - Justin Bieber Thinks Gay is a Decision and Rape “Happens For a Reason”
On Top Magazine: Justin Bieber Says Being Gay Is A Choice

The public has great interest in the rise of a celebrity, especially when they come from very humble roots, such as the case with Beiber, who got his start on YouTube and was "discovered." Unfortunately, the public has greater interest in the celebrity's fall, which is much greater when a celebrity has a generally "clean" image. This is not so much as a defense of a young pop star as it's more of an indictment of the media, most of whom have chosen to take an incomplete quote as published and use it out of context. It's not even the first time.

Nearer towards the end of the Beatles' existence as a band, John Lennon was asked an interview question about the relevance of religion in young people's lives. His response, "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue about that; I'm right and I'll be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first—rock 'n' roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."

When published in the Evening Standard, no one said anything. When a fan magazine Playbook got a hold of it and only published a part of it on the cover, that's when the protests started, complete with burnings of Beatles merchandise.

That was almost 50 years ago. It seems that interviewers for non-tabloid publications have (de-)evolved towards using ambush type questions to get a response, in this case, asking a young pop idol his views on homosexuality and abortion. When indicating his pro-life stance, the interviewer pressed further, asking if it's even in the case of sexual assault.

The exact quote: "Um. Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that." When published, an "editorial error" managed to remove the second sentence, "I don't know how that would be a reason."

Within context and thinking from a cool head, it's a fairly neutral statement, but if it's reduced to a headline like "Justin Beiber says you got raped for a reason, ladies", it's going to trigger knee-jerk reactions and protests. And, it's quite possible that as a guy that has never had to go through the moral dilemma of undergoing an abortion following a sexual assault, I'm not going to have the same incendiary response as someone who has.

How incendiary? While the pro-choice camp hasn’t gone as far as the pro-life camp (eg: pro-life extremists shooting abortion providers), the one incident that sticks out in my head was when there was a pro-life display that was put up in a public area at UBC in 1999, and was promptly vandalized by a group of pro-choice activists. Without passing judgment, do a woman’s reproductive rights trump freedom of expression? Is a display showing images of aborted fetuses offensive enough that it is a viable threat to laws protecting reproductive rights, and should therefore be destroyed, as it would fall into the same category as slander or libel? I can’t answer that.

This also begs the question: why was a minor even asked such a question? While he's hardly a blank slate and presumably aware enough to know when it's something he has little authority to comment on (as he said, he "wouldn't t be able to judge that"), he hardly has the life experience or knowledge to weigh in on a controversial topic that can't be viewed in black and white terms. Apparently, his media handler and publicist were nowhere to be found when those questions were asked, as they would’ve realized what effects such quotes would have, and that they would definitely be taken out of context.

Even the phrase, “It's everyone's own decision to do that. It doesn't affect me and shouldn't affect anyone else” in regards to homosexuality should have been taken as neutral. But someone with enough media power will be offended by it to comment and reinterpret it as “Justin Beiber says being gay is a choice.” Of course, one would think that the important words were the part about “doesn’t affect me and shouldn’t affect anyone else.”

Rolling Stone editor Vanessa Grigoriadis defended the line of questioning, tweeting, “A 16 year old kid, to be 17 in a couple weeks, who has control over a large population should be asked all questions." Fair enough. But, given that most celebrities in the media will have handlers and media control to filter any sort of controversial questions, it comes across as predatory, even more so considering that he's only 16, and his handlers weren't nearby when those questions were asked.

I'll admit. When I was 16, I leaned towards the pro-life camp. I was part of the Catholic school system and with constant bombardment of pro-life rhetoric on a regular basis, there isn't a lot of room for any other point of view, especially at that age. After a few years in college, my view softened considerably. But most importantly, I realize that I will never fully understand the topic fully, so I know enough not to make black and white statements like "abortion is murder" or "reproductive rights trump all". To an extent, Beiber probably understands it too, given his qualifying statements.

Under the circumstances, Beiber probably answered the questions the best he could without media coaching, although the questions shouldn't have even been asked in the first place, at least not without the presence of his media handlers. Because in the meantime, a character was just assassinated.

No, I don't like the music, and if I can finally get "One More Time" unstuck from my head, I would actually be a lot happier. And yes, freedom of the press is important. But at what point does that breach journalistic ethics?

While I'm at it...we have about 48 hours to "save Canadian journalism."

On Slacktivism

2010-12-17T17:35:00.001-08:00

Given my lack of followers, an 8 month hiatus from blogging probably wouldn’t have been noticed that much (laziness, got addicted to Mass Effect 2 and Fallout: New Vegas). I actually have had a few things to write about, but just didn’t get around to putting them down. This starts now as I’m now down for 2-3 weeks with a knee injury (level 1 LCL sprain), which means most of my evenings are free for the next bit.

Slacktivism (derived from the words “slacker” and “activism”) describes the practice of supporting causes with minimal effort. Wikipedia’s page includes examples such as Livestrong bracelets, signing online petitions, and e-mail chain letters (eg: send this e-mail on and Canadian Cancer Society will donate $1 to research for each person that sends it). I remember one in particular involving an online trivia game which donated rice to developing countries the more you played.

While some campaigns do give portion of proceeds to specific beneficiaries (portions of proceeds from Livestrong bracelets go to cancer research), others have questionable (or at least difficult to measure) effectiveness, and will even have certain organizations actually attempting to distance themselves from such campaigns.

With Facebook, awareness campaigns have a lot more potential to go viral, especially with the vast worldwide user base and the ease at which one can change their status and profile picture. When memes go viral, they become harder to ignore regardless of the size of your friends list, as a larger percentage of your FB contacts will be participating. The most recent one had FB users changing their profile picture to an image from a cartoon show and changing your FB status to read, “Change your FB picture to a cartoon from your childhood. The goal is not to see a human face on FB until Monday (Dec 6th) Join the fight against child abuse & copy and paste to your status!”

There are two other FB awareness campaigns that come to mind, in which women posted the colour of their bras with no context whatsoever (eg: “Jane Doe: black”; “Ellen Wong: beige”; etc.), the other in which women posted where they like to leave their purses (eg: “Jane Doe: I like it on the floor”; “Ellen Wong: I like it on the couch”). These were organized without any direct ties to any non-profit organization, and without context, were generally confounding to those that had idea what was going on. And, if you were a guy who just thought everyone was posting their favourite colours and it that might be fun to join in, pretty embarrassing too.

This is reminiscent of those commercials for birth control pills where young women identified themselves with the product (“I’m Alesse!”), and then some clueless young male gets pointed and laughed at when he asks, “What’s Alesse?” Canadian advertising standards for prescription drugs aside (notice that Canadian drug ads will never say what it does or what it is used for), for a birth control pill ad, it’s probably okay, given the extremely low probability that a man would purchase it for himself. And yes, men generally aren’t directly affected by breast cancer, but to completely alienate a potential source of support is short-sighted and counterproductive.

The “I like it on the…” campaign also raised questions the overall effectiveness of such campaigns. While they are generally harmless, there are drawbacks. One common criticism about such low-effort campaigns is that they instill the sense that the participant is accomplishing far more than they actually are. Worse yet, there is a possibility that performing such acts will be offset by living less charitably. This has been seen in studies of individuals that feel environmentally lifestyles (recycling, reducing car use) justify more polluting lifestyle choices (taking long-haul flights).

Given the fact that the level of impact of FB status updates is extremely difficult (if not impossible) to measure, on the surface, these campaigns will have negligible impact compared something requiring continuous and sustained action, such as Movember or CIBC’s Run for the Cure. As it is, the argument has also been made that donating to charities also has less impact than we believe, given the percentage of money spent on promotion and administration (but that’s a discussion for another time).

I’m probably just as guilty as most. I participated in Movember by growing my mustache to raise awareness and funds for prostate cancer research. Since this was done as part of an organized effort (complete with corporate sponsorship, advertising, and association with charitable organizations), the impact was at least somewhat measurable (the campaign has had its most successful year to date), but all in all, what did I really do? I conveniently forgot to shave for about a month and somehow got people to contribute $255 to prostate cancer research.

This brings us back to cartoon characters on Facebook. Obviously, a child abuser won’t see the error of their ways once they see a picture of a cartoon character, and given its lack of ties to any organization, any positive impact will be very difficult (if not impossible) to measure. And out of the dozens of people I know who participated, only a few actually questioned whether or not they were doing anything to prevent violence against children.

However, one standout actually took the opportunity to call attention to a specific charity that benefited child abuse victims, and indicated that she got some support out of it. Not to be outdone, as a mini-social experiment, I joined the bandwagon and posted a challenge to my FB contacts, offering to match donations to anyone who donated to Boost for Kids, so that anyone participating in the FB meme could actually say then did something to prevent child abuse.

Out of about a hundred or so FB contacts who were participating in the meme, I got two responses (one who donated to Children’s Help Line, the other who donated to Boost for Kids and is still waiting for her donation to be accepted), which largely confirms my suspicions. But, on the other hand, some children’s charities did report an increase in donations, which some media outlets attributed to the FB meme.

As a whole, the FB community as a whole has probably accomplished something positive, and that probably is something to feel good about. That is, until you find out that by participating, you may have actually contributed to exploitation of minors, given that metals that make up the electronic components in your computer (tantalum, tungsten, tin, gold) may have been sourced from the Democratic Republic of Congo, where the sale of minerals directly funds violent armed conflict. This results in coerced labour, sexual violence, and death by famine, all inflicted on children.

But let me qualify this by saying that my intent is not to criticize anyone who participates in FB awareness memes or to minimize the positive impacts of such actions. Given the complexities of life in modern industrialized society, it is impossible to live everyday life without causing suffering or pain. As it is, we start causing suffering and pain very soon after we’re conceived.

It is important that we actively question the world we live in and at least think about why we do the things we do. Is it enough to change the world on its own? Probably not. But active participation on a viral scale is always infinitely more effective than slacktivism.

QWIJIBO

2010-04-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species. -from Idiocracy

In a world where Faith Based Initiatives are allowed to run the government, functional illiterates are permitted to graduate high school, and kids get beaten up for being “smart,” is this yet another sign of things foretold by Idiocracy?

The British press has recently reported that a new edition of Scrabble called “Scrabble Trickster” will now allow the use of proper nouns, spelling of words backwards, and possibly placing words anywhere on the grid without being connected to existing words. As it stands, this is only a UK phenomenon, with Hasbro (Scrabble's owner in North America) assuring North Americans that there are no plans to change Scrabble. This is a relief, as removing the challenge from Scrabble will largely defeat any sort of intellectual value the game has.

Being a casual Scrabble player (mostly online), I’ve gone against players with varying skill levels and managed to learn a bunch of new words in the process. But, as much as I wouldn’t drop any money on a game like Trickster, I can see why there would be a market for that. While technology has made lives easier, it’s also made people a lot “dumber.”

Today, spell checkers will automatically correct spelling mistakes, which renders learning proper spelling and grammar useless. Calculators in schools are so wide-spread that basic math skills are deteriorating everywhere. And given the diminishing resources allocated towards public learning institutions such as libraries and schools, people go to the easiest and most accessible source of information possible, usually pop culture spoon-fed by the corporate machine. It very much appears that the playing field has been leveled to cater to the lowest common denominator.

Supposedly, the objective of the variant was to allow for more casual players and younger players to play. Given that there’s already a junior edition of Scrabble, this may not be necessary, although many non-juniors, the game is not very accessible. Indeed, those with large vocabularies will have an advantage, which gives Scrabble a reputation as being a game for the intellectual elite (although that’s probably more for Chess and Go).

But, to calm the frustrations of those playing against a particularly gifted Scrabble player, I offer this: despite the advantage of a large knowledge vocabulary, being able to rack up good scores in Scrabble is about as reliable indicator of intelligence as IQ tests (read: they aren’t). And in all fairness, there are already many words acceptible in the official Scrabble dictionary that don't seem to belong, such as "za" (colloquial abbreviation for "pizza"), the three 4-letter words that you can't say on television, and interjections such as "oi," "aye," "eh," and "yo," while the word "zen" is not allowed (but "qi" is).

Given that Trixster is a different game altogether (the new abilities are granted by random cards, which will incur penalties such as sacrificing a tile), it's not necessarily an attempt to dismantle the Ivory Tower and bring down the intellectual elite. As it stands, you can put down high scoring yet obscure words such as "precieux" and it'll be in the Scrabble dictionary, even if you have no idea what it means (it means "precious" by the way). I suspect that my opponent used a word generator.

If you want to make the game for really smart people, introduce a challenge rule in which you must first use the word in a sentence (within context, not "'Precieux' is a difficult word to define") as well as define it before going to the dictionary.

In With the New

2009-12-31T15:57:00.003-08:00

DISCLAIMER: This blog post talks about the extremely touchy subject of parenthood. This disclaimer is in place as a preemptive strike as anyone who is childless that expresses their opinions on the matter will usually be greeted with responses with "Well, you're not a parent!" and the like. True, I'm not a parent for various reasons (which will be noted below). But, if anything I understand that parenthood has a huge host of responsibilities that should not be taken lightly. If you are a parent, you may feel that this post is directed at you. It is not. The purpose of this is not to judge or condemn, rather than to make a comment about civilization in general.

Parenthood is not necessarily the most topical of subjects, especially on New Year's Eve. I could stretch it, saying that birth and childhood represents the new, with promise, but the bottom line is that this post is motivated by an incident that happened recently at work.

Without disclosing details that will get fired or alienated my coworkers, the short version was that several of my officemates temporarily added "babysitter" to our list of job descriptions as one of our associates was required to come in for business matters, but had their offspring in tow. This is generally not a problem, as my coworkers who bring their children are cognizant of the fact that it's a place of work and not a daycare centre. However, this did not happen in this case, as within minutes, the child became bored and began harassing my officemates.

In an attempt to keep the kid occupied enough to concentrate on work, I show him one of my Rubik's Cubes, which I solve for him (all the while he's calling me "slowpoke", despite his inability to solve it on his own). He wants to see another one that I keep on my desk, which is extremely similar, but I decline, given the monetary value attached to it. He then defiantly says that as soon as my back is turned, he will take it. He then sees the bag of cough drops on my desk and requests one. I'm reluctant, given that it's actual medication, and with my attempt to understand the child's limited vocabulary, I decline saying that "It's only for people who are sick."

Given this child's willingness to steal and the fact that he looks healthy, I have no reason to believe him when he says that he is sick, so I agree to give him one on the condition that his parent allows it. He manages to secure permission, but given the fact that the parent is busy, I don't feel that the explanation that it's for "people that are sick" is sufficiently understood by the parent, so I still decline (the package clearly states, "keep out of reach of children"). As a substitution, I provide a lollipop (leftover from Halloween), which he takes without so much as a "thank you."

Probably not the worst behaved kid I've encountered, but his lack of manners, overt willingness to openly steal, and failure to comply with his parent's instructions have me reaching for the word "crotch fruit" to describe him (a derisive term used by childless individuals that have a lot of contempt and resentment towards children in general).

I'm not going to delve on the probable complexities of his family life. If anything, a "traditional family" (ie: parents of opposite gender, married, and living in the same household) is not a guarantee of raising a child into a productive member of society. I've seen extreme opposites on both sides - single parents who raised (and are still raising) kids on their way to becoming productive members of society, and married couples that are raising kids destined to be drains on society. But, it does speak to the level of responsibility that parenthood entails, which is dismissed way too many in today's society.

This leads to an interesting dichotomy, where despite the level of work, money, and time required to turn a newborn infant into a productive member of society, it is considerably easier to make a baby than it is to secure a student loan, obtain a mortgage, or get a job. While the latter three considerable damage to one's credit rating if mismanaged, they pale in comparison to the potentially unlimited amount of damage caused by a child with lackadaisical upbringing. This is also irregardless of things like class and income, as even well-off families (at least financially) are capable of raising kids that grow up to be Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.

While parenthood isn't an idea I have written off completely, it comes with a lot of consideration. I could very well choose to be the deadbeat dad, but personal ethics and the fact that financial support (at the very least) is required by law keep that from being an option. Economics, genetics (what crappy genes will they inherit?), and the very course-of-life altering nature of parenthood in general are other considerations. Also is the fact that we're already at a world population of 6.7 billion, which the planet is barely able to sustain even with a steady supply of fossil fuels.

This is why the decision for parenthood really needs to be taken a lot more seriously than it is now, and given the inability for the general population to think for itself, makes it considerably more difficult. Government intervention is always a possibility, but is always going to be subject to controversy as it will be seen with interference with human reproductive rights. Then there's also the religious point of view, which has been associated with a notion of "Go Forth and Multiply," which makes the idea of government intervention even less of a desirable idea.

And then there's the consideration of what state-ordered family planning may entail. Those against the idea will point out theoretical situations where reproduction ends up becoming a commodity or a right only entitled to the wealthy. This is something that's entirely possible if the right to bear children is bestowed based on worthiness, genetics, or projected income, which could lead to a nightmarish future in which eugenics becomes the norm.

China's one-child policy is one attempt at averting a population crisis, although it is subject to a lot of flaws. Wealthy couples are more than willing to pay out fines for the privilege of a larger family, while those who are sticking to the one-child policy generally lean to raising young boys (via selective abortion), which has the potential to turn future China into a sausage party.

Given the complexities of parenthood, the overdeveloped sense of entitlement that can come with parenthood is entirely misplaced, especially when the larger picture is considered. Even the notion of "Go Forth and Multiply" is completely outdated today, as the Bible was written at a time when life expectancies didn't even reach 40 years of age and infant deaths were commonplace, and exceeding the carrying capacity of the planet wasn't ever a consideration.

On a smaller scale, the sense of entitlement is just as worrisome. While the prospects of having a night out at the movies ruined because of a kid with bad ADHD just won't shut the hell up is annoying, it's trivial in comparison to the larger costs on society. Raising a child that ends up being a drain on society will mean everyone else has to work harder so that the said individual will have a comparable standard of living to those that have to work for it. Considering that the current and future generations now face the prospect of having living standards below what their parents had, this makes it that much harder.

Yes, parenthood is hard. Yes, I'm not a parent myself, so I have no idea what it's like to carry the thing for 9 months and take care of it for 18+ years. Yes, I'm aware of the fact that you have to work three jobs and your spouse is living in a different country. Irregardless of any of that, it doesn't make ill-behaved children something that can be simply dismissed with any sort of excuse or justification. Just remember that you will be responsible for bailing that child out from prison and you'll have to answer to the society when your child goes on a high school shooting rampage.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, post mortem

2009-12-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

I’m currently killing about 2 hours in the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport, somewhat wired after having to chug down a can of Brazilian Coca-Cola at the security checkpoint. AGAIN. Still no free internet, so uploading photos and blogs will have to wait another 6 hours when I’m back in Vancouver. I looked out the window and there is frost on the cars outside. I shudder to think of what it’s like back home. I’m-a-guessing pretty frickin’ cold.

The past two weeks have been a very worthwhile experience, with memories that will last until I become senile. With beaches, warm weather, interesting people, and good Capoeira training, the trip will stay with me as long as I have the mental capacity to recall this.

Best things about the trip:
-Almost constant beautiful weather, making the fact that we’re in “rainy season” pretty ironic.
-A completely different cultural experience than what we see and do back home
-Time spent relaxing on the beach
-All of the new friends that have been made
-Developing a better appreciation for the way life is back home after the visit to the favelas
-Great food almost everywhere we went
-A different perspective about Capoeira training
-Picking up parts of a foreign language and expanding my horizons
-The non-commercialized aspect of Porto de Galinhas, with nary a Starbucks or McDonald’s in sight
-Receiving the mini-celebrity treatment at Batizados

Worst things about the trip:
- The “laid back” mentality of northern Brazil often resulting in lackadaisical customer service and forcing changes in plans, resulting in a lot of wasted time
-The day we were forced to pay for lunch by people who we knew that came to the table, ordered, ate, and then left
-Frighteningly unsanitary conditions of some of the places we visited, making some of us really glad that we took the necessary precautions
-The Brazilian public infrastructure resulting in road trips rougher than the plane ride over Miami.
-Being forced to spend 3 hours looking for a hospital because someone decided to handle a stray cat
-Having last minute changes to plans due to businesses giving away reservations to other parties or groups

Survival tips for those looking to do the Brazilian experience with Aché Brasil next year:

General travel and planning:
-Get everything done EARLY. Because the trip is done in high season, ticket prices will be very volatile and can price quotes can change within hours. Additionally, visas and passports take a long time to process, while vaccinations take about a month to protect you fully.
-Items purchased after completing security checkpoints in the airport are typically meant to be consumed. I got burned by this twice when attempting to bring a can of Brazilian Coca-Cola home, but because it wasn’t in the checked luggage, I had to chug it at the security check point.
-They really do not mess around when it comes to carrying liquids. I have been forced to part with two cans of Coke, a bottle of sunscreen, and a tube of insect repellent because they were not in checked luggage. If the bottle was originally more than 100 mL, even if it obviously has less than 100 mL in it (i.e.: partially emptied), they will confiscate it.

Stuff to bring:
-Brazil’s household electrical pumps out 220 volts. Most of your electronic doo-dads will utilize 110 volts, although a lot of electronics will be able to accept voltage ranges. While you may be able to obtain an adaptor while here, it’s better that you bring your own. Check the voltage ratings on your electronics. If it ONLY accepts 110 volts, you will need a step-down voltage converter as well, or else the device is not going to work or you’re going to fry it.
-Depending on what you plan to be doing, you can usually pack very light in terms of clothing. I brought about 10 pairs of socks, but I ended up going barefoot in sandals the entire time. Since you’ll likely be wearing a swimsuit a lot of the time, you can forgo a lot of clothing. During the two week stay, I wore the same pair of cargo shorts the entire time.
-Sunscreen is very expensive in Porto de Galinhas. Bring your own and make sure it’s in your checked luggage.

Brazilian culture:
-Learn as much Portuguese as possible before coming. As much as Porto de Galinhas is very touristy, it’s not commercialized to the point that all of the locals are bilingual.
-If you bungle the Portuguese language, accept the fact that they are laughing AT you, not WITH you. Besides, when’s the last time you laughed at someone bungling English? Deal with it.
-Despite the racial diversity of Brazil, in the more northern districts (Pernambuco, Natal, Paraiba), Asians are extremely rare. If you are Asian, you WILL be stared at, they will assume that you’re Japanese (even if you’re not), you know Kung Fu, and that you’re all related. All the Japanese people are in Sao Paulo, not Pernambuco. Deal with it.
-There are certain social aspects that are far beyond your control, which will result in what appears to be very lackadaisical customer service attempts to screw over the gringo tourists. This is more culturally based and is standard practice. Businesses will often say “yes” and “agree” to do things when they in fact have no intention of doing so, or will even give up your reservations to someone who is paying them more (and yes, they keep your money anyway). Customer service standards that would otherwise cause bad word to spread around and resulting lost business are the norm here. Why? It’s a tourist town and it’s not like they’re going to see you again any time soon, and it’s not like some other gringo tourist isn’t going to replace you when you’re gone. Deal with it.

Climate and health:
-DO NOT DRINK THE WATER FROM THE TAP. You should be consuming at least 1.5 litres of water per day.
-To minimize mosquito bites, wear long sleeves and pants to bed and leave the door closed. Kill all mosquitoes that make their way into your room.
-If you’re on a low-sodium diet, you will be SOL. The Brazilians like a lot of salt on their meat. This may be beneficial as it could help retain fluids and stave off dehydration, however. But remember to keep drinking water.
-DO NOT HANDLE STRAY ANIMALS. This should be a no-brainer, but someone on our group caused us to lose 3 hours trying to find a hospital for a rabies shot.
-Get a minimum of 30 SPF sunscreen and remember to reapply as necessary. Some with fairer skin types will need a much higher protection level.

Safety:
-Nobody had any major problems, but the standard rules do apply. Avoid wandering around at night alone, do not keep all your money on you or flash your money around, leave your passport in your room and carry around a photo copy.
-Cops in Brazil are bastards and for good reason. They are vastly underpaid, face danger constantly, and have very itchy trigger fingers. During the trip, no major incidents happened, mostly because Porto de Galinhas is relatively safe. However, one of the group was accused of stealing prior to our arrival and had a shotgun pointed at his head.

Budgeting:
-I ended up spending less than 350 R$ on food during the two weeks, but budget for 450 R$. Remember that exchange rates are very volatile, however.
-Things will generally be more expensive in Porto de Galinhas than in surrounding areas such as Olinda and Recife. A bottle of water averages around 2 R$ in Porto, and about 30% less in the supermarkets in Olinda and Recife. Stock up and purchase in bulk whenever possible.
-Bar fridge purchases are stupidly expensive. Everybody should know this by now, but a few in our group did not. Remember to replenish the inventory before you leave. Also take the inventory the second you check in.
-DO NOT WASTE MONEY ON LAUNDRY SERVICES. Several students on this year’s trip relied on the laundry service which was purported to be next day service, but ended up being delayed to the point that they were not ready when a Batizado was held.

Merchandise and souvenirs
-Avoid places that have no price tags on things. Vendors may apply arbitrary pricing based on how much of a tourist you come across (i.e.: “the gringo tax”).

Activities:
-As much as Capoeira is a large part of our lives, surprisingly, it is largely looked down upon and is often viewed as a “poor man’s sport.” Capoeira rodas are best performed with Mestre’s approval and when all students have full Capoeira uniforms.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 14 (sabado, decembro 19)

2009-12-20T18:40:00.001-08:00

Mosquito bite count:
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 7 / Shoulders: 4 / Chest: 1 / Head: 8 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 1

Today is where I fly home and hope like hell that the berimbaus purchased do not get confiscated by customs. We put a clear coat of lacquer on all of the biribas and cabacas the previous day, save for the one that I specifically purchased on Francois’ behalf.

Morning was spent with last minute scrambling to get the room cleaned out, perform all last minute idiot checks, and exchange contact information with some of the friends we’ve made so I can practice my Portuguese and they can practice their English. We also ensure that our bar fridge inventory matches their numbers, which we corrected yesterday when despite the fact that we only had 5 bottles of water to begin with, they were supposed to have 6. Camara and Safadinho do not have that foresight and are hit with a 75 R$ bar fridge invoice.

Mestre was on the horn with the transport company most of the night to make absolutely damn sure that they were on hand to pick us up from the Pousada. Jacare and Saphodinho left the Pousada to stay in Recife; Charme was able to get a last minute flight to Rio; Zulu (AKA the Other Vince), Jaguar, and Acai caught an 11AM flight to Miami; and Canela and I are now on a 4PM flight to Sao Paulo, where I will kill a few hours before flying out to Dallas Ft. Worth and meet up with Zulu, Jaguar, and Açai.

And of course, despite all best efforts, the transport van was STILL late, although given their complete failure to show up at all yesterday, half an hour late is pretty darn good.

As Canela and I are taking the later flight, we had several hours to kill in the Recife airport, which is dangerous when there is a lot of really cool crap to buy. Realizing that I left a few people off the list when shopping for trinkets and kitsch in Porto de Galinhas, I finally start exercising the credit card that had gone unused for the past two weeks as I relied on Brazilian cash.

Thankfully not finding a McDonald’s in the Recife airport, I end up at Bob’s, where I eat what may be the best airport fast food hamburger I have ever eaten in my life. Canela opts for Subway. As I’m eating it and I make my way through the last bites, I’m realizing that for once, the burger actually looked smaller in the photo.

I also take the next step in my attempt to improve my Portuguese by purchasing a copy of Besouro, a novel based on the life of the famous Capoeirista Besouro Manganga, which also inspired a film that just came out this year.

This book is written entirely in Portuguese, which will mean it will take at least 10 times as long as the average book for me to read, although I anticipate that it will go faster as I slowly increase my vocabulary. I have a quick conversation with the bookstore clerk with his limited English, telling him that I don’t know that much Portuguese, but I’m interested in reading it due to my interest in Capoeira. He asks if I know any Portuguese at all, to which I respond, “Um pequeno.” He then spouts a few random Portuguese greetings, “Bom dia…obrigado…” I then add in, “Onde é o banheiro”, which provokes laughter behind the clerks behind the counter.

Canela and I are flying on TAM Linhas on an A321, which is smaller than the planes that took us on the way in, but somehow more comfortable. And they just served us a hot ham and cheese sandwich. This beats the pants off of the chintzy cookies and boxed drink we got on the American Airlines flight from Salvador to Recife.

Landing in Sao Paulo, Canela makes her connection to Chicago and I’m making my brief stop before heading out to Dallas. We wander around for about an hour as this is a very large and busy airport. The airport is akin to a rat maze and I’ve lost confidence in my ability to find my way after airport staff gives directions. Canela suggests that the airport was designed in the 1970s to counter protests and gatherings, which is why navigation is very complex. After about fifteen minutes of searching, we end up at the American Airlines counter where I have to exchange boarding passes and Canela has to re-check in.

The unfortunate thing is that this is not a really direct connection, as I have to pass through airline security AGAIN. I end up having to swallow the entire can of Brazilian Coke (intended as a gift to the Coke-addicted girlfriend) at the security checkpoint, forcing me to purchase a replacement before the gate. The price is a whopping 5 R$, which translates to roughly $3-4 CDN. Back in the Recife airport, it cost 3,50 R$. It didn’t even cost that much in the bar fridge back at the Pousada.

Without stepping outside of the Sao Paulo airport, I have a very limited impression of the city, although I have finally found the Brazilian-Japanese population, so I’m not going to be attracting stares. And yes, stuff is much more expensive here. And there’s STILL no free internet. I will wait until I get to Dallas-Ft. Worth and check there.

With this, I say boa viagem to Brazil and step on the plane.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 14 (quinta-feira, decembro 18)

2009-12-20T18:36:00.001-08:00

Mosquito bite count:
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 7 / Shoulders: 4 / Chest: 1 / Head: 8 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 1

Mestre knows that I’m putting together a blog and has half-jokingly asked for approval, to which I responded, “I don’t remember signing a non-disclosure agreement.” And really, given my responsibilities as a writer, I have to call it as I see it, with as much balance and fairness as possible. But, in the interest of maintaining positive ties and whatnot, names will be withheld when appropriate and discussion of sensitive topics will be kept to a minimum.

With my last night here in Brazil, I can sum up my entire experience in three words: “Abandon all expectations.” This can be both good and bad at the same time, and in retrospect, it’s been mostly good, even with the not so great experiences. And there have been days when I’ve been feeling like absolute crud, but largely the positive experiences more than made up for them.

For example, most of today ended up being a minor write-off. We were scheduled to go to the mud pits for a therapeutic mud bath, which I was really looking forward to, but the transportation company isn’t exactly coming through on agreements. Previously, it was agreed that the van would be available to pick us up at 11:00AM, but when they aren’t there, they suddenly have no recollection of this appointment, or that the van needs to be repaired, or something. From my experience so far, it’s more than likely they rented it out to someone who paid more, but they’re just not willing to admit it.

While cultural dynamics can be fascinating for sociological study and international relations, they’re a pain in the ass from a customer service point of view. The Other Vince and I have been compiling a list of businesses in Brazil that we cannot trust, but given that in some certain respect, pretty much all of the businesses categories fall under there, it’s not so much that certain businesses can’t be trusted, rather that it’s the general mentality of the culture in general. For a person that depends on full disclosure and transparency (and comes close to having anxiety attacks when these things are not there), this is not the kind of thing that I like to deal with on a regular basis.

As it stands, the end result of this is that we have to hire another van and driver, sending an old beat up VW minibus which doesn’t have all the seatbelts. By the time we pass through Ipojuca and get to the mud flats, they closed early, leaving behind a very unfriendly looking guard dog behind. And of course, no one has any idea what’s going on and asking for help from the locals gets us nowhere.

With me looking forward to finishing up a non-relaxing vacation with a therapeutic mud bath, this is less than welcome news, which has actually gotten me pretty bummed out. And considering that the number of hours wasted waiting could’ve been spent at the beach or doing something else, a lot of people are definitely not happy with the van company.

But, the feeling doesn’t last all that long, as we end up going to a favela (“shantytown”) to deliver gifts to underprivileged locals. This gives me enough perspective. These people, while they have less, are generally happy, even though their lives are harder. They are literally dirt poor, often making less than a few dollars per day. And they are extremely grateful for the gifts we give them. Meanwhile, we have everything we want, but want more, become disconnected with the people around us, take psychoactive meds to remain calm, shut ourselves out from the outside world because we’re addicted to our 24 hour high speed internet, shopping, eBay, and pornography.

For us, these gifts are mostly cast-offs and leftovers. While Kayla did procure new items (stationery, toiletries, etc.), the bulk of the items are old clothes and toys that we have no longer deemed useful. While these people have benefited from our materialistic attachments and our disposable culture of excess, seeing the way people live really makes stuff less worth complaining about, at least in our lives. Heck, my contribution was a few Rubik’s Cubes which I “retired” just because I own so damn many of them. This barely set me back $20.

However, this leads to a fun moment where I get the photo I want…I staged a photo where I’m racing one of the favela kids with Rubik’s Cube solving, and then he ends up beating me. I got what I wanted out of it and I did my good deed of the day, and on top of that, I made somebody smile.

And later, I do confront our non-Capoeira practicing group member to explain myself for last night and why I may have been upset. Indeed, I indicate to her that I’m not so much as looking for an apology as for an understanding of the consequences of not acting according to childhood lessons, while assuring her that after blowing off steam, I’m actually okay with it. Still mildly annoyed, but at least not pissed off about it.

We ended up back at Churasso Gaucho, an all-you-can-eat meat buffet, which the Other Vince describes as “like Samba’s, but the waiters don’t ignore you.” I forgo desert, although the bill swells slightly as we have to pay for the live musician (they neglect to tell us this before we sit down and eat). But, on the plus side, I have finally heard a live rendition of “Garota de Ipanema” (“The Girl from Ipanema”), which I haven’t heard in my entire time here. That’s kinda like going to NYC and never hearing Sinatra’s “New York, New York”.

As we leave, the Other Vince and I ask Acai to help us locate suitable gifts for our significant others back home. Given that shopping for clothes is generally an anxiety-inducing experience, we rely on her expertise and buy what she tells us. We run into Mestre and Christianne, who are saying that they are going to “Go for coffee.” This has the Other Vince and me laughing uncontrollably. We end up explaining the joke to Mestre, who is visibly unimpressed, while Christianne finds it funny.

The night is finished off when we go to the town looking to dance the night away. We run into Diago, one of the locals who works as a tour guide, whom we previously met during one of our Capoeira rodas. Since his English is significantly better than my Portuguese, he recommends one place called Santeria, which Jacare explains is a name of a religion. I only know it as a song by Sublime.

The club session starts out with a live band playing Forro music, for which I’m wishing that I paid more attention in salsa class (Charme explains that the only differences are the footwork). Things start more moving towards familiar territory after the band finishes their set and the DJ steps in to play electronic music and remixed top 40 favourites. “Kung Fu Fighting” begins pumping through the speakers and I do my worst Bruce Lee impression possible, much to the amusement of my peers.

I make my leave in the wee hours of the morning, intent on getting some sleep before an exhausting flight. The girlfriend isn’t feeling very good and could use some cheering up. I hope I picked something that she’d like.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 13 (quarta-feira, decembro 17)

2009-12-20T18:26:00.001-08:00

Mosquito bite count:
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 7 (+1) / Shoulders: 4 / Chest: 1 / Head: 8 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 1 (+1)

Sunburn incident count: 2…maybe (first incident is completely healed, feeling a little sensitive on the face and forehead)

WARNING: AIRING OF DIRTY LAUNDRY. I’m not a big fan of airing dirty laundry in a public forum like Blogger or Facebook (where this blog is posted). Air dirty in public and everyone will know the colour of your underwear. However, this is also to serve as a public service announcement (because knowing is half the battle. YO JOE!). Names will not be mentioned to protect the remaining shreds of dignity, although everyone who was there will know exactly who this refers to. This will be the only mercy that will be shown in this blog. This will be honest, raw, and harsh, but it will be fair.

Parts of this blog were written down outside various medical clinics between Natal and Paraiba. The non-Capoeira practicing member of the group has dragged us here because against all of the basic life survival lessons that they teach children (e.g.: don’t stick metal objects into electric outlets, don’t accept rides from strangers, don’t swallow liquids with the “Mr. Yuck” sticker on it), she hand-fed a stray cat which then bit her. So yes, she’s trying to find a rabies shot.

Look people. They teach you not to handle stray animals when you’re a kid. The basic life survival lessons go double when you’re in a foreign country, triple when medical facilities are hard to find and may or may not be adequate. And surely enough, after hours of searching, we STILL haven’t fount a rabies shot.

While the previous day had me on edge, this incident has officially gotten me pissed off. I accept that there are certain risks associated with traveling abroad, but you do whatever it is that you can to minimize them. This is especially the case in a group trip. If one person gets an intestinal parasite and has to make a bathroom trip every fifteen minutes, the trip will become that much less fun as the van has to make stops every fifteen minutes.

Even as a Capoeirista, I run the risk of serious physical injury every time I step in to train or play against an advanced student, but I know how to minimize the risk. Always play in a respectful manner, don’t provoke an aggressive game if you can’t back it up, protect your face, warm up before training, and if it hurts, don’t push it. As Capoeira training has been one of the primary reasons for me to be here, and if someone gets hurt and we have to go all over town to find suitable medical facilities to reset a broken nose, I’m not going to hold it personally because this is not always preventable or predictable.

Evidently, this didn’t happen for our possibly-rabies infected travel companion, as this was something that was completely preventable. Even more insulting is the lack of anything resembling an apology, although she “thanked” us for accompanying her to all these medical facilities. Guess what, we don’t leave anyone behind and this was not a choice for us, and even if it were a choice, we still would’ve done it. And when presented with the question of whether or not she’s going to do it again, she says that she will, justifying it by saying that the cat was really cute and she couldn’t help herself.

This is a facepalm moment which further cements my perception that she’d be the first to die if we were in a horror film. I’m not looking forward to spending any amount of time with her, which is a shame because I was hoping to go partying on my last night here (tomorrow night), and she’s likely to accompany us. If she’s willing to pet a stray animal just because it’s cute, part of me expects her to let common sense to go flying out the window and accept a spiked drink from a stranger, which will mean the group of us will be involved in the search for her (or her body), will be required to make witness statements, and then be subsequently forced to miss our flights home as a result.

At least the general air of resentment and rage in the van has prompted her to vow to not touch stray animals again.

Not counting the search for the rabies shot, this would’ve been a pretty good day. We woke up and found that our belongings were not rifled through and no one shot at the front desk person. The toilet takes a long time to fill up, but at least we don’t have to sleep in a run down neighbourhood.

We drove to the beach where we alternate between lounging and swimming. The waves are high enough to make me long for a surfboard, but we opt for body surfing instead. The throat burns with sea water and I hit one wave hard enough to knock my goggles askew.

We end up going on an exhilarating dune buggy tour of the Natal sand dunes. The exhilaration is due to the element of danger – and I’m the only one that actually bothers with a seatbelt (which incidentally isn’t working properly). We make several stops for photos, many of which will be part of my screensaver at work.

We come back for Capoeira class on the beach, taught by rotating instructors including Instrutore Parata and Contra Mestre Pequeno. Movements are relatively basic, either to accommodate the large range in ranks or to accommodate us soft Canadians. I’m thinking it’s more of the latter.

Upon completion of class, we hop in the van for another part of the beach for lunch. Beers are continuously piled up in front of us while we wait for the catch of the day prepared to perfection. With drinks, we pay 15R$ each. We all eat our fill while we are swarmed by stray cats, circling like vultures, waiting for us to drop something. We all have the foresight to not handle or feed them.

A small group of us make our way through the nearby residential area to visit Mestre’s relatives. Again highlighting how good we have it, doors are secured witih padlocks and the walls and floors are bare. Many of the locals make their living by fishing, and while business is good now, it’s entirely seasonal. Mestre helps out his extended family wherever possible, and half jokingly laments that he has no money left every time he goes to Brazil. With the number of friends and family that Mestre has here, this is not surprising.

Mestre’s relatives share some mangoes with us, which I hope ripen before I leave Brazil (can’t take it with me). This is when we all hop in the van and find out about the need for a rabies shot. Considering that we’re 6 hours away from our accommodations in Porto de Galinhas, the trips to medical care facilities will add on another 3 hours at the very least.

We don’t end up getting home until 3AM. This had better not mess up scheduling, or I’m going to be even more pissed.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 12 (tertia-feira, decembro 16)

2009-12-20T18:23:00.003-08:00

Mosquito bite count: (unchanged)
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 6 / Shoulders: 4 / Chest: 1 / Head: 8 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (completely healed)

For the first time on this trip, I’m actually stressed out. Here I am, already very out of my element with a significant language barrier and undergoing massive culture shock, and only starting to figure out the local area, and I’m in a hotel in Natal where the front desk person actually needs a Kevlar vest. How did I end up here?

Immediately following breakfast, we were rushed to get on the bus for a 6-hour road trip from Porto to Natal, with one stop in the Recife airport and another stop to eat and get gas. The trip is cushioned with earplugs for the bulk of the trip as I’m feeling more anti-social than usual. I make it through half of Ender’s Game as in my haste to leave, I forgot my iPod charger. I also find out the hard way that my DS charger requires a step down converter before it will work here.

As much as I keep trying to remind myself of the class differences between Canada and Brazil, the bus trip through some of the more run-down areas of Natal has left some of us on edge. Christianne felt it was amusing to tell us that we’d be staying in some of the run-down neighbourhoods and the group would be split up. One non-Capoeira practicing member of the group uses the words “shit-hole” to describe the neighbourhood. It’s people like her who are usually the first to die in the horror movies that put Americans in foreign locales.

Lunch happens with Mestre’s extended family, where we are told we are staying. Despite the obvious class differences, we are treated with the utmost of hospitality with good food and drink. We’re still a little put off at the prospect of spending the night however. The Other Vince vows to follow the advice of Mestre Bimba, the founder of modern Capoeira Regional, who was said to sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight. Exit light, enter night, grain of sand.

After lunch, we end up at a public school, which is actually well maintained, a contrast to some of the neighbourhoods we have seen. This is the venue for the local Batizado. Compared to previous Batizados at Xexue and Olinda, the children students are less well-off, evidenced by the fact that they don’t all have official Aché Brasil uniforms. We attempt to soften the edge with some charitable donations of gifts that we’ve collected at the Vancouver academy.

We get the minor celebrity treatment and the kids are happy to see us, although I still get the feeling that they’ve never seen an Asian before, as one kid takes to pull on the corner of his eyes to imitate stereotypical Asian slanted eyes. I haven’t had anybody do that to my face since I was 8 years old, probably the approximate age of the kid who did that. I try not to be offended by this, although I am a little bit surprised, especially given the ethnic diversity that is seen in Brazil. But at least they don’t throw fruit at the van when we leave.

Batizado goes well and is much better organized than the Olinda Batizado, mostly owing to the fact that this was not a last-minute location change, and therefore the bathroom wasn’t as scary, although the fact that I had to use the girls’ change room while Kayla stood guard and the stall was missing half of a door does stand out. The Canadian students all end up doing Capoeira solos to warm up the crowd, but with inadequate warm-up, I know better than to cut loose with the high-risk moves.

However, we do not represent as well as we can, as half of the Canadian students are without proper Capoeira uniforms. While the locals do have an excuse, the only excuse we have is that we trusted the local laundry service which promised next day service. We surrendered our laundry on Monday and were supposed to have it on Tuesday. Guess what happened.

During the drive to God-only-knows-where (presumably where we’ll be staying), we are told that because Natal shares its name with the Christmas holiday in Portuguese (Feliz Natal), the city is completely decked out in Christmas decorations and lights. This leads to some of us singing Christmas carols, with the two Vinces allowing holiday cynicism to take hold – the Other Vince makes a point of changing the line “Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight” in “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” to “Won’t you shoot my wife tonight,” whereas I rant on the excesses of Christmas consumerism.

I mention that I’m doing a Buy-Nothing Christmas with family, mostly owing to the amount of money spent in order for this trip to happen. Our resident non-Capoeira practicing member of the group finds it unfathomable that we could’ve blown so much in savings all at once. She also received the trip as a graduation present. Without mentioning dollar figures, I list off the expenses that come with living on one’s own and sound really frickin’ old in the process.

We finally end up at the hotel, where I notice that the front desk clerk is wearing body armour. I haven’t decided if this is worse than staying at Mestre’s family or not, but at least we are very close to the beach and have a beautiful view. The photos taken will end up as my screensaver at work.

Dinner takes place at an Italian restaurant, consisting of thin-crust pizza and Caparinha (an alcoholic beverage containing Pitu, a local liquor derived from sugar cane). The pizza helps with the hypoglycaemia while the Caparinha takes the edge off.

The generally lackadaisical approach to customer service has me asking Christianne how they can get away with this. I’m told that this is largely due to the completely laid back attitude to just about everything. She tells me that it’s not so much the case in areas such as Sao Paulo, which is heavily industrialized, but also heavily commercialized (ie: Starbucks and McDonald’s all over the place). All I know is that back home, this is a quick way to ensure that repeat business does not happen. If I hand in the type of customer service that we’re getting here back home, I will get fired.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 11 (segunda-feira, decembro 15)

2009-12-20T18:23:00.001-08:00

Mosquito bite count:
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 6 (+1) / Shoulders: 4 / Chest: 1 / Head: 8 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (completely healed)

Immediately following breakfast, I walked with the group to the beach where we took a boat tour to a coral reef. And of course, after putting on all of our sunscreen and whatnot, there was a sudden downpour. Considering that we were going to be swimming a bit later, this wouldn’t have been a big deal, but sunscreen was getting in my eyes. As soon as it stopped, we started randomly quoting “I’m On a Boat.”

When we got on the coral reef, we were given a small packet of food for the fish. We had a bit too much fun feeding them, evidenced by the amount of fish crap that we were swimming in. Getting swarmed by fish was actually sort of neat, and of course there was the requisite stuffing of fish food in someone’s swim trunks.

After a fairly large lunch, we started the berimbau workshop. This ended up dragging on for hours, starting at roughly the afternoon and still going on until 10PM. Creating a full berimbau is an extremely tedious process. A brief run down:

-Peeling off all of the bark
-Cutting the length down to the equivalent of 7 hand lengths (stretched thumb to pinky)
-Using a glass blade to remove the remaining bark and smoothing out the surface and the knots in the wood
-Sanding down the surface
-Cutting, emptying, and sanding down a gourd
-putting holes in the gourd and attaching a string
-Cutting a notch in the berimbau for the aramé to loop around
-Nailing a square of leather to the top of the berimbau
-Cutting an appropriate length of wire and twisting the loops in it
-Tying string to the arame
-Stringing the berimbau properly

Given the extremely limited number of available tools, this takes a lot longer than it should. We end up improvising glass blades made of a broken bottle and surprisingly, nobody cuts themselves on the glass. This may appear to be fairly ghetto, but it actually effective at levelling out the surface. I now have a much better appreciation on what is necessary to make a berimbau and can actually see how the prices can be justified.

As complete newbies, our Berimbau assembly technique has become a great source of comedy for Jaruna, one of the workers at the Pousada who is also a Capoeira student, and obviously, they aid a lot more help than we were hoping for. My berimbau is somewhat complete, although I do need to do some more sanding. The wood is extremely stiff and difficult to flex. However, this is my berimbau. There are many like it, but this one is my own.

This drags on long enough that by the time some of us are finished, we’re all extremely tired, hungry, and getting cranky (low blood sugar and all). The night is finished off at an all-you-can-eat Brazilian barbecue which is much cheaper than eating at Samba’s in Vancouver.

The language barriers are slowly lowering as Saphadinho makes a crack at Charme’s expense. Charme requests “frango de queijo” (“chicken with cheese”), but Saphadinho makes an off-hand crack, “You mean, ‘Frango de Homems?” (slang term for gay male). Charme responds with an extended middle finger, but the waiter takes the joke even further by sending over another member of the wait staff.

The second hapless waiter is completely oblivious to the fact that he just got punked and politely asks if there’s anything else he can do. As we do so, the first waiter is killing himself laughing behind the counter, so much so that he needs his apron to mop up the tears because he’s laughing too hard.

The hypoglycaemia has now been replaced with a need for a post meal coma.

Next: Natal.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 10 (segunda-feira, decembro 14)

2009-12-20T18:22:00.000-08:00

Mosquito bite count: (unchanged)
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 5 / Shoulders: 4 / Chest: 1 / Head: 8 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (first one is completely healed)

Okay, minor change of plans. Berimbau workshop is deferred for another day due to the lack of available mass transportation to move 8 of us at once. Instead, today is chill day.

During breakfast, I am greeted by a slightly panicked Julia. Based on my limited understanding of Portuguese, she’s having problems with memory or the monitor…or something, I’m not sure. After finishing breakfast, I go to the computer to diagnose the problem with Julia in tow. I turn on the PC, and then I turn on the monitor. Julia’s eyes widen in amazement as it’s working just fine. I didn’t even do anything. Other Vince makes it pretty clear that he’s not impressed.

After breakfast, I replenish my money supply, having finally managed to burn through 290 R$ (about $200 CDN) over the course of more than a week (not bad, all things considered). Given that I’m in a resort town, I go against hitting currency exchange (low rates guaranteed) and I hit up the ATM. I bite the 10 R$ “convenience fee” but get enough to last the week. I also restock on water.

The Other Vince has been feeling sick since yesterday, owing to an extremely bumpy car ride to Olinda and breakfast that didn’t go down too well. He’s feeling better today, though. Luckily, we’ve all been doing “okay,” and the medical mishaps have been minimal. I’ve lucked out in terms of injury and gastrointestinal upset, getting only mosquito bites and sunburn and one quick bout of the runs.

But for chill-day, it was exactly as expected. We went straight to the beach, chilled out there, had a few drinks, and then went to lunch. Dragao and Iuna headed to Recife before heading back to Vancouver tomorrow so they wanted to make the most of it. Dragao failed to heed Mestre’s warning about rubbernecking the beautiful women on the beach, which usually results in hitting one’s head on the beach umbrella. I’m not sure if this is due to actual rubbernecking of beauties at the beach, but he has a nice scratch on his forehead as a painful reminder.

Maybe I have been well trained by the girlfriend, or maybe my expectations were way too built up, but I’m having difficulty locating the super-hot Brazilian women. Sure, they’re there, and there is nary a one-piece bathing suit in sight, but the ratio of super-beautiful women to average-fugly looking women isn’t necessarily greater than going to the beach back home in summer. This may also be buffered by the number of bodies that are NOT ready for the beach, which I’m trying really hard not to notice.

Relaxing at the beach is requisite when in Brazil. When here, one must learn the language, or at least enough to tell the vendors to go away. We had a vendor shield in the form of a beach blanket that keeps beach vendors at a distance, but the rising tide makes this impossible. On cue, we have two guitarists come by to harass us, who refuse to leave unless paid. We all pony up 1 R$ each.

Lunch was at Porto Mix, this place that served pretty much everything from pizza to Brazilian barbecue. They also had Japanese food, although it’s not quite like the stuff back home. The Other Vince chanced it on maki tuna rolls while I went for yakisoba. Overall, it’s okay and total I spend is 20 R$, which includes an acai berry smoothie.

We end up back at the pousada where we then head back to the beach for Capoeira training with Instrutore Pisao. The sand makes for better cushioning, although the last move he shows us before sundown is very difficult (somewhat akin to an s-dobrado into an au malandro).

After class, the Other Vince and I check the internet back at the pousada (they gave us off-hours internet access in exchange for fixing their computer). We quickly check Google News to see how things are back home. Some of the negative aspects of the trip had me missing home a little bit, but then I saw the report for 20 cm of snow to dump on Vancouver, followed by freezing rain. That feeling of homesickness immediately subsided, for I remembered that I just came back from the beach. Then that post-beach elation subsided when I realized that I’m only here for four more days after tonight.

Over dinner, Canela, Charme, the Other Vince, and I talked about the trip, what we liked and could’ve had better. Ice cream in just about every flavour available was welcome as desert.

Tomorrow, we should be having our berimbau workshop (for real this time). A day or two after, we’re visiting Natal for an overnight stay.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 9 (domingo, decembro 13)

2009-12-20T18:17:00.002-08:00

Mosquito bite count: (unchanged)
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 5 / Shoulders: 4 / Chest: 1 / Head: 8 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (completely healed, now peeling)

I can say with absolute confidence that Brazil is not a tourist destination for the germ phobic or those with constant hand-washing OCD. While this may be less applicable for areas such as Rio de Janeiro (which more caters to English-speaking gringos Americano), the non-TP accepting toilets, Kafka-esque public washrooms, and prevalence of winged bloodsuckers and creepy crawlies will have the OCD types substituting hand sanitizer with bleach.

Batizado day in Olinda had us training with both Mestre Eclilson (it was also his birthday today) and Mestre Derli. For this location, we ended up in a public theatre auditorium which was in a bit of a state of disrepair. We ended up cleaning up the floor with our feet, hands, and uniforms, which further cements how much I really don’t want to complain when the academy back home gets messy. The unfortunate bathroom facilities are even worse, causing one of our group to develop a sudden case of shy bladder until more suitable facilities can be located. In his words, "I took one look at the toilet, and my penis said NOOOOOOOOO!"

It may be more of a function of the weather and inadequate ventilation rather than our level of exertion, as I was dripping with sweat after and during classes. I was able to stave off dehydration with a litre of Guarana soda and 1.5 litres of water, made possible with the really cheap supermercado that was up the street. I was about ready to stock up for home, given that 1.5 litres of water is about 50% more expensive in Porto (1,29 R$ at the Olinda supermercado vs. 2 R$ in Porto), but they were shut down early, as were all the other businesses except for restaurants.

Lunch took place at a local restaurant that promised both Brazilian and Chinese cuisine. Having spent many a dollar at the restaurants in Richmond, I know what real Chinese food is supposed to be like, so my expectations were extremely low. Given that I was hungry, it was still adequate, although I would avoid a place like this if it was back home.

Batizado was a little more long and tedious this time around in comparison to the Batizado in Palmares. Many major landmarks were achieved however. Kayla received her first belt and apelido (“Jaguar”), while Contra Mestre Gordo and Professore Pit Bull were promoted to their next ranks (Mestre and Conra Mestre, respectively). We also made a few interesting contacts and a few friends.

The ceremony dragged on long enough that a small group of us had to head out to find a snack (preferably ice cream), but we ended up getting caught up in a drum parade. We still haven’t found out what the special occasion is, but it would explain why half of the businesses are shuttered. It may be for the Brazilian equivalent of the Day of the Dead, but I don’t see any decorations to that effect.

Overall, this Batizado is a disappointment compared to the one in Palmares, not only given the horrifying bathroom facilities and dirty floors, but the level of disorganization. Apparently, the original venue was changed at the last minute due to the group being bumped in favour of another. Supposedly, Brazil is a candidate for being an economic superpower. I don’t know if I want them in charge.

We end up at a pizza place for dinner and spend 10 R$, while Mestre’s extended family brings in birthday cake for Mestre. Para bens pra vocé, Mestre Eclilson. Before we leave, I take a photo of the locally produced liquid zero-calorie sweetener. The photo on the package has a provocative image of a woman drinking coffee while a man holds her from behind. The name of the product is “Assugrin.” I am so buying a bottle to take home when I get the chance.

With this being the month of December, businesses are gearing up for Christmas, although it’s easy for me to forget that, given that it’s summery weather here. Coming from Canada, I tend to associate Christmas with cold weather, the North Pole, snow, winter wonderland, and Bing Crosby (“I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”). I feel really, really bad for the local Brazilians that are tasked with dressing up like Padre Noel, given that they didn’t adapt the non-secular Christmas icon for warm weather (i.e.: Santa Claus still dresses up in the thick, fleecy, and furry Santa suit even in the sun).

The van ride home is uneventful as half of us are asleep through it. I’m crashing early tonight too. Next up: Berimbau workshop.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 8 (sabado, decembro 12)

2009-12-20T18:14:00.001-08:00

Mosquito bite count: (unchanged)
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 5 / Shoulders: 4 / Chest: 1 / Head: 8 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (completely healed, now waiting to peel)

The various spurts of Internet goodness have indicated that things at home are going as well as can be...when I left, things were kinda going to hell in the apartment (mouse infestation), but to hopefully soften the blow, I made sure that there would be a gift waiting for the girlfriend on her birthday. I know this won’t make up for the mouse infestation that was there when I left, but I have to try.

The only infestation I am dealing with is mosquitoes and tiny ants which are just about everywhere. Last night while chewing on sugar cane, I discovered ants made their way to it, so to protect my precious sugar cane, I tossed in the bar fridge. Now I’m chewing on ant-free sugar cane while spitting the fibres out into a bag while blogging. Life is good.

On the other hand, I’m just wondering if I’m getting a negative return on energy investment, as I have chewed through about 4 inches of sugar cane in the past half hour, which is less than a teaspoon of sugar. The mosquito bites on my arms have radiated redness to the surrounding area, which has made my arm slightly puffy.

Today has been relax day, where we had no set agenda (i.e.: no 2-hour road trip to Olinda or Palmares), except for music class with Professore Pit Bull. Lots of lazy going on here, with us just walking to town in search of a beach towel, but the language barrier makes stuff difficult. We still haven’t found a suitable beach towel.

We had pizza lunch with Julia, one of the Pousada hostesses. We’ve unofficially given her the Capoeira nickname Bacalhau (“cod”), based on the number of times she’s attempted to get us to pronounce that word properly (“Bola… ba… ba… BA… BA… KA… LEEYAO”). While she attempts to teach us Portuguese, we attempt to share English as well.

After lunch, Julia was going to help me find a beach towel, but not in the stores we came across (“Tudo não tem!”). While the women in the group were checking out a place for wraps and sarongs, Julia suggested that I buy a gift for the girlfriend at home. I understand enough to realize that she is trying to get me to tell her which dress size. I have to go with the typical guy response: Eu não sei (“I don’t know”). She then goes onto compare various sizes, pointing at me, indicating esbelto (slender) and The Other Vince as mas forte (not so slender).

I’m not sure if in Brazil there are consequences for buying gifts of clothing for wives and girlfriends of the wrong size, but I attempt to explain it. “Eu compra ‘mas forte’ pra minha namorada…” I start. I then point to myself and make a choking and punching gesture. Maybe it’s easier to say, “Ela me mata.”

After an emergency run to the Pousada restroom (not actual traveller’s diarrhoea, as far as I can tell), we hit the beach. I come to an area where some of our friends have already rented some chairs and umbrellas. This is handy, as this allows me to check my bag with some of our Pousada neighbours. The Other Vince stays out in the water while I alternate between poorly-motivated Capoeira movements and jumping in the water.

I am greeted with another reminder of business practices in Brazil when Kirk, one of our travel companions, has the misfortune of getting stuck with a bill for chairs that were supposed to have been paid for. The problem of the language barrier rears its ugly head yet again, which leads to our young adoptee to attempt to diffuse the situation with his additional two months in Brazil (and therefore better understanding of Portuguese and Brazilian culture).

Realizing that he’s not going to win this battle any time soon, Kirk produces 20 R$, muttering, “They need it more than I do,” and dropping it on the ground in front of the vendor before storming off. The vendor says words to the effect of, “You don’t rip people off in Brazil.” After yesterday’s lunch incident, this is somewhat ironic.

The odd cultural differences have gotten The Other Vince and I saying f***-it to the Brazilian public infrastructure and we have decided to flush the TP down the toilet, partly on the advice of one of the English speaking tourists we ran into last night. This is us exacting our karmic retribution for being forced to pay for lunch.

Today Mestre went off to pick up Mestre Derli, a Capoeira mestre who spent time in the actual Cidade de Deus (“City of God,” a notorious favela which was immortalized in the film of the same name). I met him at our previous Batizados and have had several classes with him.

We were supposed to have roda in the public square, but the general lack of organization (i.e.: put together by the lower belted students including myself) means that the likelihood of it occurring is put into question, up until the point that we find some other group members. Not the best roda by usual standards, partly because it’s completely casual (no one is in full uniform, only a few instruments), also because Mestre wasn’t here, but we manage to attract enough attention that some of the locals want to play, and we even get a tourist from Australia to come out as well.

Tomorrow is Batizado day in Olinda and we’re leaving as soon as we’re done breakfast.

Food report: we were told to budget approximately 45 R$ per day, and other Vince and I have consistently kept our food costs at under 35 R$ per day on average (even including when we got stuck with a padded lunch bill yesterday). We finally breached that today with pizza at lunch (9 R$ each) and steak dinner (31 R$).

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 7 (sesta-feira, decembro 11)

2009-12-20T18:12:00.001-08:00

Mosquito bite count:
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 5 (+4) / Shoulders: 4 (+2) / Chest: 1 / Head: 8 (+2) / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (completely healed, waiting for it to peel)

It’s like my computer has been with a Brazilian prostitute, as my computer is now up cybercreek without a paddle. I’m now unable to connect to the internet, so this post will have to be put up retroactively. For whatever reasons, nothing is working properly on my computer, the antivirus programs have been disabled, and I can’t even install any new programs. Microsoft Word is only usable program right now.

They’re asking me to compile all of the photos onto DVD, but now that’s looking impossible, as doing so would produce a DVD more virus ridden than Paris Hilton. I don’t know where it came from, whether it was from the two people that viewed files on my computer or the internet connection key. I strongly suspect that it was Dragão.

Today started out pretty well, all things considered. Class was held out in Riberão, where we went to what looked like what used to be an airplane hangar. Bathroom facilities were non-existent, so I ended up using the great outdoors as the urinal (at least I’ve long since gotten over my fear of that). Class was taught by Contra Mestre Jean, who previously operated an independent Capoeira grupo, but joined Aché Brasil.

We saw a lot of students that we met in the previous week and I’m slowly learning everyone’s names, although it’s really tough. I like that they’re making an honest effort to make us feel welcome (attempts at English are always fun), although the use of the interpreter (read: Camara) is always important.

The class in Riberão was pretty good, although relatively short compared to the roda that followed. Despite the disparity in skill levels, I feel like I can hold my own, although it’s still intimidating when you got some guys who are really skilled and some guys who are really strong. Maculele was especially great to watch as they actually broke out the real machetes for that. I mimed slicing off a hand to Contra Mestre Pequeno, much to his amusement.

Regardless, it’s an incredibly energetic roda, probably one of the biggest ones we’ve been to so far. Some incredible acrobatics, strong games, and I’m liking meeting all of the people. My Portuguese is slowly improving bit by bit, although it’ll be a while until I’m considered fluent.

A highlight was hanging out with our favourite resident Capoeira man-whore, Superhomem. Attempting to explain him to an outsider is kind of tough, as he’s someone who’s extremely obnoxious and abrasive, speaks broken English, is not someone you’d bring to a proper function (like a funeral), and yet somehow, he has incredible luck with women. Basically, if you gave Borat incredible martial arts skills, tattoos, and rogue-ish charm, you’d have Superhomem. I haven’t decided if we’re actually laughing “at” or laughing “with” him, as just about everything he says provokes a reaction.

With his broken English, Superhomem told us about the problems he’s had with the language. “When I first learn English, I had someone ask me if I wanted to go for coffee, but I only heard ‘Go fo’ coff.’” Why does he want me to go f*** off?" Always a good time with Superhomem.

Then I spontaneously had my first off-day of this vacation. We ended up at this one restaurant with some really good food, but much to the disappointment of the eight of us who shown up first, we realized that the table filled up by another eight people (native Brazilians) who ordered more food, and left us with the bill. I bring this to the attention of Camara, who shrugs and merely says “That’s probably going to happen.”

The drive back to the Pousada also involved a stop off at a sugar cane plantation. This is where I received some extra bites on my arms and face. Just about everyone got bitten, and the ones I have are several times larger than the ones I received earlier in the week. Two on my arm have swollen to the size of dollar coins. We later end up at a public market, but hey guess what. We spent all of our money at dinner treating the Brazilians to lunch.

And then I come back to the Pousada only to find that my computer no longer works properly. I can’t even open Control Panel. Getting stuck with a bill and getting my computer screwed up have actually managed to get me mildly upset and now I’m starting to miss home. And unfortunately, there’s absolutely jack all I can do about it because I can’t even get on the internet to diagnose the problem, although I’m attempting to run Windows Defender and scan in safe mode. But, at least the sugar cane was nice.

Icing on the cake comes when the Other Vince and I head out into town to grab some snackage. We run into our travel companions to find a few of them drunk and our young adoptee getting pretty angry at them for being completely drunk. Babysitting drunks has never been my idea of a good time and sometimes it really sucks being the responsible adult. Given that this is one of three things that have gotten me ticked off today, I’m feeling particularly antisocial. However, I did get an apology from Dragao, and I did make a pre-emptive strike apology if it turns out that my computer doesn’t have a virus.

Tomorrow is our day off from training. The only thing this computer is being used for is as a paper weight and a word processor.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 6 (quinta-feira, decembro 10)

2009-12-20T18:11:00.000-08:00

Mosquito bite count (unchanged since yesterday):
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 1 / Shoulders: 2 / Chest: 1 / Face: 6 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (previous sunburn almost completely healed with no noticeable tenderness on my shoulders)

Over breakfast, Other Vince and I were discussing Asian stereotypes and one of my goals to do a short film comedy with that theme. One scene would involve the Asian stereotype about being especially gifted with fixing computers. As luck would have it, the Pousada employees were having complaints about the way the computer was running, so Mestre asked if I could do something about it.

The lack of maintenance and care is extremely evident to my (not really) slanted Asian eyes as well as those of Other Vince. I start by removing the add-on toolbars and pop-up generators while Other Vince and I switch off tag-team style and start searching for legitimate software cleaners (AdAware, Spybot S&D). We then realize that no one has emptied the Internet Explorer cache or the Recycle Bin. Ever. Given that software is going to take longer to install and take effect than realized, we end up missing a significant chunk of Contra Mestre Parana’s class (tourism building).

As it is, a computer with this level of neglect becomes an all-day project to fix when the wireless internet is coming through a 3G connection. Our day starts looking like setting up a specific computer task (downloading program, running virus scan, etc.), letting it run, then going off to do something else (hang out at beach, eat, train Capoeira). As I write this (1:31AM local time), it’s running Defrag. We’ll check it first thing in the morning, and thus further reinforce the Asian stereotype.

To ensure that this does not happen again, we had Mestre act as translator while we attempted to advise the staff on ways to avoid picking up viruses, malware, and Trojan horses. I still suspect that someone will have to do this again same time next year.

Training today was relatively light-weight compared to yesterday (partly because we were fixing the computer rather than training the first class). An hour or two after lunch, we took the trip out to Instrutore Matraka’s academy in Recife where we did a class for music and maculele. I’m noticing that I’m still having issues with properly stringing up berimbau consistently (it’s been a month or two since I last did it) whereas the teachers get it right the first time. But, at least the heat makes the wood easier to bend.

Matraka’s class was followed by roda and mini-class taught by Professore Kiko. Kiko is quick and agile, and seems to have a smile that does not go away, and was described by members of my group as one of the happiest instructors we’ve had.

Overall, I’m enjoying the instruction we’re getting from the various teachers we have here. All of them have made an effort to make us feel welcome, have displayed a lot of patience, try to have fun with us and even take an interest in the things we like and pick up a little English. Instrutore Matraka, for all of his humour and jest (like jokingly threatening to throw my Rubik’s Cube across the room after being unable to solve it), is a very emotional guy, coming to tears when acknowledging Mestre coming all the way to visit the academy and students.

Stuff like this is why I get a little bothered when our resident adoptee gives attitude towards instructors and even Mestre. On this trip, I have witnessed two incidents where our resident adoptee has done exactly that. Those of us who have been here in Brazil for a shorter period of time are pretty put off by his behaviour, although the locals don’t seem to be bothered by it...although it’s pretty clear that he hasn’t gotten away with it.

Today’s incident involved the young charge swearing under his breath (but loud enough for Mestre to hear) and storming out after not being allowed to skip out on Instrutore Matraka’s class. As soon as he’s out of earshot, I go up to Mestre and say, “We’ll straighten him out.”

Mestre’s response was, “We’ll do it in the roda.” I was more thinking of a heart-to-heart talk myself, but obviously they do things differently here. Given that the young charge has been in Brazil for a few months already, he probably has a better idea of what’s going on than I do, although his attitude doesn’t always indicate that. I have seen him toss trash in the streets, which he dismissively justifies with, “someone else will pick it up.”

In a certain sense he’s right, although I’ve done my best to adopt a “leave the place nicer looking than when you leave” policy, where he says the way it’s done here, for everything you clean up, someone else will just leave a bigger mess. And in some respects, it is. It’s pretty rare when I can find a place to properly recycle bottles and cans (Kayla says, “It feels wrong!” Other Vince calls this cognitive dissonance).

Simply put, I don’t know how things work here and I sometimes feel like I’m better off not knowing. Capoeira is incredibly rife with politics and group dynamics change constantly.

And another comment on the major differences between training in Vancouver and training here. We are consistently violating fire safety codes everywhere we train (or at least we would be if they were worth enforcing) by filling rooms beyond capacity, but it goes to show that Capoeira can be done everywhere. And we HAVE been training Capoeira in some pretty random locations, some of which look fairly run down.

While I have had classes that felt much more intense back home, the perception may be based on the fact that it is harder to train in colder weather and we generally can’t train as often as we like due to various obligations (read: WORK). Either that, or the local instructors all know we are lightweights that need constant water breaks (“Não bebe agua!”).

Some of the skill and talent of most of the Capoeira students here is breathtaking and amazing. I’ve especially enjoyed games with one student (green/blue cordão) named Choque. He’s less than 5’ tall, looks small enough to throw Fastball Special style, and has a particularly twitchy style of play, but has energy and body control to spare. That, and he’s been picking up a few random words in English, which he’s been passing on to the other students. Unfortunately, the words they’re picking up aren’t the kind used in polite conversation.

The friendly and carefree attitude is a contrast to the rundown locations that we’ve been training, including where we had Professor Kiko’s roda. We would’ve totally violated fire safety regulations by being there, considering that the training space was less than that of a high school classroom. And the place looks old and poorly maintained. But, a fancy training facility is NOT a requisite for solid martial arts skill, and the skill I have seen is evidence of that.

Food report: breakfast and lunch at the Pousada, dinner (X-Tudo burger and acerola juice) was at a truck stop/gas station. We all stopped to eat and get gas. This proved to be some of the worst service I received so far as they managed to forget about me, so I ended up eating my burger on the bus because it came so late. The place was also a haven for mosquitoes, two of which I crushed.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 5 (quarta-feira, decembro 9)

2009-12-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 5 (quarta-feira, decembro 9)

Mosquito bite count (unchanged since yesterday):
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 1 / Shoulders: 2 / Chest: 1 / Face: 6 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (little time spent out in the sun today, mostly healed, although putting on the backpack sorta hurts a little, not peeling yet)

Today was probably one of the more tiring days on this trip so far, and it’s only Wendesday. A very short time after breakfast, morning class was taught by Contra Mestre China (yes, like the country), and then a short break followed by lunch, which was almost immediately followed by a road trip to Varga for a class taught by Professore Ratinho, a break for food, and then off to Olinda for Professore Pit Bull’s academy for class. And Dragão wants for us to wake up at 7:00 AM for morning training on the beach before we have breakfast. Uh, how about no.

Contra Mestre China has taken to nicknaming me Bruce Lee. This is somewhat flattering, as he is often considered by most to be among the martial arts greats. But I don’t know if it’s due to a passing resemblance and an extremely low body fat percentage, or because all Asians look the same. Other Vince got called Jackie Chan once, and even has the unofficial Capoeira apelido “Bolo” (after the actor who played the baddie in Bloodsport), bestowed upon him several years back.

For his morning class, Mestre allowed us to train in non-uniform clothes as to avoid dirtying our uniforms for the other academies. We went back to the community square in town where we train fairly often. The weather was hot enough that the guys went shirtless. Unfortunately, the large amount of sweat generated by all of the guys also meant a certain amount of suction was generated when we were on our backs doing leg lifts for abdominal strengthening. The end result was a constant farting sound that made it so no one could concentrate.

Second class resulted in a lot of driving around. We ended up at one gym facility and found that the class was actually bumped in favour of a yoga class. A frickin’ yoga class. Mestre (maybe half-jokingly) commented that Capoeira isn’t as important to them, so they allowed a yoga class to displace the pre-booked time that we set aside. This confirms my suspicious about how business is sometimes done here, or at least in terms of customer service standards. Providers of customer service are more than willing to sacrifice one customer to please a new customer that is offering more money.

Somehow, I’m not surprised…this reminds me of the time the Vancouver academy imported uniform pants from Brazil and had the order screwed up (the logos were placed incorrectly), yet the printer still wanted full payment for their mistake.

We end up at another gym and are able to have class, but it’s in a very small space, but thankfully sufficient for our purposes. We are all sweating buckets by the end and even Camara admits that it was one of the more intense classes he’s had to take since his arrival.

Short dinner break, and we hop in the van to Olinda to Professore Pit Bull’s academy (rented space at another gym). This is where my shirt gets the dirtiest, as there is a sufficient amount of rusted metal around (thank goodness for my tetanus shot) that leaning on any surface in the gym will result in stains that aren’t coming out (that, and the sunscreen washed off onto the shirt, leaving it orange). I have sweated several litres of water due to the heat and large number of bodies packed in the space. Upon completion of the class, I proceed to wring my shirt out on the sidewalk, generating maybe a quarter cup of water. I haven’t decided if I’ll get in trouble or not with the Mestre if I post the video of me doing that on YouTube.

Overall, the class is enjoyable, although the large number of attending students from multiple academies makes getting in the roda very difficult, as rank means that one cannot just cut in with anyone without showing disrespect.

All this training has left my uniform extremely dirty with minimal laundry services available (we’ve taken to washing our clothes with shampoo and in the shower). I will probably have to purchase an entirely new uniform by the time this trip is complete, although I may have to wait until the very last day.

Overall, I’m finding the instructors easy to get along with and they’re all offering a lot of great perspective and insight into Capoeira. I can’t really comment on certain aspects (mostly due to cultural differences), but they’ve shown a lot of patience and have a lot to offer.

In a lot of respects, this has been the least relaxing vacation I have been on, but on the plus side, I definitely won’t be out of shape when I come back (although the long-ass plane ride might change that), and I have something resembling a tan after a few days here. It’s beginning to take a toll on my body, however. My left hip is starting to do something odd, as well as my right ankle. I’m not even the oldest person on this trip either.

Food report: really cheap eats. R$5 for dinner, R$15 for lunch, and R$3,60 for two mangoes and a can of guarana soda.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 4 (terça-feira, decembro 8)

2009-12-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 4 (terça-feira, decembro 8)

Mosquito bite count (revised):
-Hands: 4 / Arms: 1 / Shoulders: 2 / Chest: 1 / Face: 6 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (some redness on upper shoulders, but not painful to the touch)

The more time I spend in Brazil, the more I realize that we have it way too easy in Canada and are spoiled in many respects. In Canada, classes are easier, we train on smooth surfaces made of laminate tile, and sometimes we have the opportunity to slack off. Those luxuries are gone here. For the past few days, we have trained on some pretty weird surfaces, with the last night being on brick road, today being on ceramic tile and later on cobblestone. But, relative to the fact that we actually are on vacation and are doing a lot of really interesting things, we could be doing worse.

The road trip to Olinda was long (involved passing through Recife, then driving for another half hour). Camara was gracious enough to keep the whistle blowing to a minimum, although the bulk of the trip was spent playing with Rubik’s Cubes and watching Up on the iPod.

We ended up at a market square where we met a street vendor who was attempting to sell us a berimbau pendant, although I am on a mission for one made of sterling silver and the ones he had were made of bamboo and other materials. Being one of the few locals that speak English, it was somewhat refreshing to hear (that, and he seems to like Canada more than the US). And I still can’t seem to find a souvenir deck of playing cards.

We were then followed by a couple of guitar players who then started singing about Capoeira (I’m just guessing…that word came up a few times and it was the only word I could understand). Mestre said they wanted money. Considering that the airport staff will expect a tip if they wheel your bags to the bus, I’m not surprised.

I finally got to sample agua de coco for the first time, immediately followed up by tapioca with guava jam (it’s a bit of a grilled sandwich made from toasted tapioca). This bit of downtime was nice, but it’s pretty fleeting as we’re training Capoeira at least twice a day now. However, I could think of worse things that I could be doing.

We ended up on the grounds in front of a church, where we were taught by Instrutore Jean, who gave us a lesson in the importance of paying attention and trying to remember. I’m really getting the feeling that the instructors are taking it easy on us here. After Camara, I am the highest ranked Canadian academy student (cordão azul escuro) on this trip (although this will change once Dragão arrives tomorrow, as he has the same belt), so if I screw up, I take the whole class with me.

We were taught 4 separate sequences which we were supposed to perform. After Monitor Camara was asked to stand aside (so we can’t follow him), I essentially had to lead the class in all the sequences. This was fine up until sequence 3, at which point I performed sequence 4 instead. Instrutore Jean had me do the requisite disciplinary push-ups and sit-ups and gave a speech (in Portuguese) reminding me of my rank (relative to the other students) and that in Brazil, things are going to be harder. As I’m doing my pushups, I say, “Yes, I can see that.” Camara translates, much to the bemusement of the instructor.

At one point, I was seriously contemplating asking Mestre to hold onto my belt for the duration of the Brazil trip, given the responsibilities that come with a higher rank. Higher rank does come with respect which has been earned, but it must be maintained. Slacking off and forgetting movements that a green belt could do is not behaviour becoming of a high-belted student. But, given that Mestre has his reasons for assigning rank, it would probably not be the wisest to go against his judgement.

The responsibility does tend to make one feel a little more important, though. We are tasked with looking out for each other, especially for the younger or less experienced students. One of the youngest students has a bit of a chip on his shoulder, but I know enough not to take the stuff he does personally. Sure, he’s a bit of a punk kid (which we’ve told him up front), but he has become unofficially “adopted” by the academy, so it’s kind of up to us to straighten him out. It’s still upsetting to see him act out, though. I only hope he gets straightened up before he becomes a real problem, for his sake.

Quick food report: today was a cheaper eat day than yesterday. 7 R$ towards pizza, 6 R$ for snacks, and 8 R$ for a “X-Tudo” burger (has everything…beef patty, cheese, lettuce, tomato, sausage, ham, egg, onions…) and ice cream. Yesterday, it was about 30 R$ for lunch alone, although that included a lot of steak. I like steak.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 3.5 (segunda-feira, decembro 7)

2009-12-20T15:29:00.002-08:00

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 3.5 (segunda-feira, decembro 7)

Mosquito bite count (revised):
-Hands: 3 / Arms: 1 / Shoulders: 2 / Chest: 1 / Face: 4 / Neck: 2
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 1 (upper shoulders, mild redness, slightly sensitive but not painful to the touch)

It’s finally dawning on me how unspoiled Porto de Galinhas is in terms of tourism. The bulk of the tourists are other Brazilians and finding anyone who speaks any English is an exercise in futility. We are looking like complete gringos (even us Asians) as we are forced to consult with whatever Portuguese dictionary is on hand when we are looking for stuff. “Tem cartas de baralho pra lembrança?” (“Do you have souvenir playing cards?”) Apparently, the preferred term is “cartas de jogo.”

This is somewhat refreshing, as I’m getting a more authentic tourist experience than I would with some plastic wrapped tour in frequently visited areas such as Cancun or Rio De Janeiro. But on the other hand, it reminds me about how little of the outside world I know and it’s a very humbling experience. And we have a tendency to laugh at people when they butcher English too. Looks like the shoe’s on the other foot now.

It’s even more hammered in by distressing feeling of “One of these is not like the other.” Despite the large number of ethnic Japanese living in Brazil, I don’t know where they are, although we did see some Asian tourists. And while Mestre did warn the Other Vince and me that we’d be mistaken for Japanese (despite the fact that I look less Asian than most Asians), it’s still a shock when some random local kid walks up to us and goes, “Vou é Japonês?” and then bursts out laughing when I respond, “Não, e sou chinês.” Either I pronounced it wrong or an Asian person in Brazil is that much of an alien thing to them. The lack of fluency in Portuguese is hampering my efforts to blend in.

Thankfully, our senior student/instructor Camara has been our unofficial tour guide and translator. This is extremely helpful as we would otherwise not know what is good to eat or what the Brazilian instructors are trying to say to us. He is someone we typically look up to for instruction and advice. And then we are sometimes reminded that he’s actually younger than a lot of the less-advanced students.

The evening was spent taking a class taught by Professore Pitbull in the middle of the public square, which was followed by a roda. As we were finishing, a street vendor was selling this whistle that made this annoying “WAH-WAHH” sound. Camara, all excited, wanted the Other Vince and me to also purchase one of these whistles. We refused, not wanting to blow 10 R$ on something so frivolous and annoying. Camara then threatened to play with the whistle during tomorrow’s road trip to Olinda, but wouldn’t if we all bought a whistle. We still refused.

As we walked away in search of something to eat, we met up with another touring student, Açai. Camara comes up to us in a group, trying to get money from her. As a mom, we figured she’d know better, so Other Vince and I are doing our best to make sure that she does NOT relinquish any money to him. Possibly because we were sort of freaking out, we may or may not told her WHY it was a bad idea to give him any money, because she relented, reasoning that Camara was going to pay her back with interest.

Tomorrow’s road trip will to Olinda be buffered with a combination of Gravol, iPods cranked to the max, earplugs, and any other method of distraction.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 3 (segunda feira, decembro 7)

2009-12-20T15:29:00.001-08:00

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 3 (segunda feira, decembro 7)

Mosquito bite count:
-Hands: 3 / Arms: 1 / Shoulders: 1 / Chest: 1 / Face: 2 / Neck: 1
-Back: 0 / Legs: 0

Sunburn incident count: 0

I’m suspecting that due to my Chinese background, I’m more susceptible to mosquito bites than everyone else. Because you know how it is when you eat Chinese…an hour later you gotta do it again. I don’t seem to have any bites from last night, more from the previous night when I didn’t wear a long sleeved shirt to bed. Either that, or because my roomie left the A/C off for parts of the night.

Today was definitely a laid back day compared to the previous day. Even our Capoeira training was pretty lax, much of which involved taking us to a public square type area for Contra Mestre Brasil to give us a Q&A lecture on Capoeira Angola.

Oops, spoke too soon. Kayla just popped her head in the window and we’re training. NOW. As in, 7PM at night.

I really should’ve put the insect repellent in my checked luggage.

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 2 (decembro 6)

2009-12-06T20:21:00.002-08:00

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 2 (decembro 6)

Morning followed my first overnight sleep here, made possible with the use of custom-fit earplugs (thank you, Vivian). My roommate, the Other Vince, has “been told” that he snores and I have confirmed it for him, which I describe as being akin to moving furniture (at which point the earplugs went in). Someone, like a girlfriend or family member, may wish to procure an anti-snoring pillow or a year’s supply of Breathe-Right strips as a Christmas gift for him. Just saying, that’s all.

My time here has given me a better appreciation of life in general back home. Either that, or life as a Canadian has left me utterly pacified. The prospect of the locals being unable to speak the same language is somewhat unnerving, but at least I’ve gotten over my fear of toilets that fail to accept toilet paper. Not that it matters, as chronic dehydration may have minimized the possibility of Montezuma’s revenge. This comes in extremely handy as one of the places we visited today had bathroom sanitary conditions approaching biohazard levels. Somehow, the “Worst Toilet in Scotland” scene in Trainspotting comes to mind.

Breakfast consists of food that I can’t get back at home and the fresh fruit is especially welcome. I’m used to the idea of carving out a pineapple and the centre is usually discarded as it’s so fibrous that it can only be chewed on until the juice is removed, and then spat out. I’m still waiting to sample agua de coco (coconut milk), which has been recommended for staving off dehydration. I don’t think I’ll need an excuse for drinking agua de coco.

The main focus of the day was one of the Batizado ceremonies that we are attending. This involved a looooong drive out to Xexeu (near Palmares). Some of these Capoeira students are good and the academies are much larger here. I’m guessing that the training regimens are a little bit different here, or at least the mentalities are different, given the large number of higher-ranked students than the ones back at home. Even though Mestre is largely operating in Canada these days, his base is still back home in Brazil.

While I’m aware of the level of violence that can escalate in some public rodas, we’ve been shielded from that. This is something I’m somewhat grateful for, as I really don’t know what public healthcare is like here in Brazil. If I was in Cuba, I might not be as worried (thank you, Michael Moore), and regardless of travel insurance, getting injured when you’re a long way from the comforts of home is a very frightening thought.

Despite my apprehension, I am able to hold my own against some very high ranked students and instructors, managing to do movements in Capoeira and actually fool them into believing that I’ve been training really hard for the past 7-odd years. I’m still working on the language barrier and the cultural differences, so they may actually be saying that I completely suck, though.

The cultural differences are a challenge and it’s further cementing the fact that I’m definitely not from there when I can’t say anything beyond Eu nao falar Portuguese. But at least they don’t do the American thing about saying things louder and slower even when they don’t understand the local language. However, this has somewhat increased my drive to learn a foreign language prior to visiting another country. I should probably get Cantonese down (being Chinese and all), although if I’m apprehensive about using non-toilet paper accepting toilets, I don’t know how I’ll be able to deal with the infamous squat toilets.

Generally, the people here are quite friendly (the extent of which is to be determined, as I have no idea what they are saying). Coming from Canada is interesting as we’re almost treated like mini-celebrities (either that, or not a lot of Asian people pass through Pernambuco), which is fun for a while. One of our group, Camara (also a student instructor at the academy) has visited Brazil several times before and indicated that it gets old after a while. With some of the street kids visiting the roda, I can see how. They also threw fruit at the van as we left.

The long-ass drive home was somewhat worse than the turbulent flight over Miami, as we were encountering a lot of road work, poorly lit roads, and unpaved roads. There are a lot of speed bumps that I can’t explain, and for some odd reason, we couldn’t take the same route home that we used on the way there. I could’ve sworn that there was a road that was there when we left, and NOT there when we came back. But I’m here, typing away, contemplating jumping in the pool, and missing my 24/7 wireless connection. But at least I don’t miss TV.

Yes, still no consistent fast internet, although Mestre has managed to obtain a wireless internet card, which I will need to procure at some point so I may e-mail my girlfriend, wish my mom a happy birthday, upload these entries to my blog, and get some photos up on Facebook. I may need to find an internet café. Probably tomorrow.

I’m slowly getting used to the time difference here…although it’s 12:41AM local time, my body still thinks it’s Vancouver time (5 hours behind, 7:41PM), so I’m actually awake, although I’m more than willing to sleep after a shower at this point. We’re scheduled to have a Capoeira class tomorrow morning, which will give me my first actual exposure to outdoor sun.

I’ve been able to stave off sunburn by virtue of the fact that I haven’t actually gotten out under the sun yet. And yes, sunblock is very expensive here. I’m hoping SPF30 is sufficient, although I am very capable of burning under the right conditions. Those right conditions could be met while I’m here, at which point I’ll have to bite the bullet and spend some 50 R$ (about $30 CDN) for SPF 60. With an SPF rating like that, I’d better be able to survive at ground zero when World War III occurs.

Why did I not put the sunscreen in my checked in luggage?

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 1 (decembro 4-5)

2009-12-06T20:18:00.002-08:00

Onde é o banheiro? Blog de Brasileiro, dia 1 (decembro 4-5)

The lack of a constant internet connection has made real-time updates somewhat impossible and goes to show how disconnected from the outside world I have allowed myself to become. So now, after successfully pissing away an entire day on air travel, I am finally landed in Porto Galinhas in Ipojuca, Brazil (near Recife) in the Pousada (“bed & breakfast”), blogging in non-real time, being forced to do the copy & paste thing to blogger.com when I can. And I still need to find a way to drop a line to my significant other at home. I wonder if she got the text I sent her while I was passing through Miami. It’s also my mom’s birthday today and I haven’t been able to send out any emails or texts without receiving a nasty surprise from Fido the next month.

This is an annual tour organized by my academy, where we visit the various Aché Brasil academies operating in and around Brazil (specifically Pernambuco). In the process, we get to stay at the Pousada, visit and tour Porto de Galinhas, eat some really good food, listen to live music 24-7, and train Capoeira almost every day.

So, why does wanderlust kick in now? In a lot of respects, the opportunity has always been there, as this is an annual trip held by my Capoeira group, but for various reasons (lack of funds, lack of motivation, fear of the unknown) kept me from going, but after some (read: a lot of) urging from my girlfriend, I took the plunge, and now I’m staying warm in the sun, which comes especially welcome after the crappiest November for weather in memory.

Everything up until getting here has been a little more stressful than I’d like…taking two weeks for vacation means that deadlines are pushed up two weeks in advance, while packing takes time, as does the wait for documentation, vaccinations, and everything else. The price of the ticket is extremely volatile in high season (the quote actually went up by $100 in less than 24 hours), there isn’t any sort of direct flight (had to make separate stops in Dallas Ft. Worth, Miami, and Salvador), and there’s the ever-present fear of my luggage still going to Boston. Luckily, I still have all my stuff, except for my sunscreen, which they confiscated at YVR (more than 100mL).

But after successfully losing about day in travel (flying out of Vancouver 8:45AM, arriving in Recife the next day at 11:00AM), I’m running on very little sleep, maybe about 3 hours (which may have been induced by popping a Gravol on the plane). Losing 5 hours across time zones may have helped, as even though I’m dead tired at 16:46 Pacific standard time (actually 21:46 local time), I might be able to fall asleep when I’m supposed to. We’re supposed to be getting up early tomorrow as we have a Batizado (belt ceremony) to attend, which involves a lot of Capoeira training.

Coming to Porto de Galinhas, I feel very out of my element. I haven’t seen any other Asians around (save for Kayla and the Other Vince…and Kayla’s only half Chinese), they don’t cater as much to non-Portuguese speakers, and the conversion rate from CDN to R$ is not as favourable as I would’ve hoped. But on the plus side, I’ve so far managed to avoid Montezuma’s Revenge 4 hours after my first Brazilian meal (a lot of meat and chicken) and I’m with friends, some of whom are fluent in Portuguese. Plus, this part of the city doesn’t seem as dangerous as the travel websites like to warn.

This is my first attempt at an authentic vacation, non-sullied by the constant tourists traps, penetration of American imperialism (haven’t seen a Starbucks yet), lack of authenticity, and plastic wrap sheen. And it’s warm. Really warm. Not blistering hot, but then, we arrived some time in the afternoon and I spent most of the time in an air-conditioned van as we made our way from the Recife airport over to the Pousada, so that is likely to change tomorrow.

So far, I’m liking the weather, the really good food (although watching my sodium intake may be an exercise in futility at this point), and the quaint little hand-craft stores, although the little benefits of home like potable tap water, toilets that will accept toilet paper (the converse is simply unthinkable at this point, having flushed with every wipe since the days of toilet training), and high speed internet are missed.

It’s a little bit frightening and exciting at the same time, with everything from the language barrier to the cultural differences to the possibility of getting mugged making it challenging and worthwhile (although I may have gone a little overboard with the “decoy” wallet). Less-than-rudimentary Portuguese isn’t helping matters, although it makes for an interesting time when I’m attempting to ask for the driver how long something will take, but the only intelligible Portuguese I can muster is “Quanto tempos?”, which comes out as me asking for the time. At least I know how to find the bathroom (“Onde é o banheiro?”).

But when it feels too much like home, then it isn’t truly a vacation, now is it?

Saving lives by solving cubes

2009-08-16T01:15:00.002-07:00

Saving lives by solving cubes
Puzzle enthusiasts to donate blood and solve puzzles simultaneously

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

August xx, Vancouver, BC - On Saturday, August 29, a group of Rubik’s Cube enthusiasts led by Vancouver residents Hong Chen and Vince Yim will be rolling up their sleeves for Canadian Blood Services, in an effort to promote Vancouver’s second annual speedsolving competition, while also raising public awareness of the need for blood donors.

“For most people, solving a Rubik’s Cube is difficult enough, let alone one-handed and while donating blood,” says Vince Yim, an active member in the local speedsolving community. “But this is a way we can improve our speedsolving skills while helping our community.”

The Labour Day long weekend is one of the most difficult times of year for Canadian Blood Services to collect blood, as many regular donors are on vacation or busy with outdoor activities. However, blood is needed everyday of the year.

“We want to remind people that many people can give blood and make it an enjoyable event!” says Yim.

Both Yim and Chen have been solving Rubik’s Cubes for several years and can easily solve the cube in less than 30 seconds under normal situations. The duo will be joined by three other members of their local speedsolving community at the Oak Street blood donor clinic, 4750 Oak Street, at 2:30 p.m. on Saturday, August 29th.

While donating blood, the group will be promoting Vancouver’s second annual speedsolving competition, Vancouver Open 2009, to be held on September 12, 2009 at The Crystal Mall, 2819-4500 Kingsway Ave., in Burnaby. This competition is hosted by canadianCUBING (canadiancubing.com), which was co-founded in 2006 by Rubik’s Cube enthusiast Dave Campbell to promote the speedsolving community by connecting fellow Rubik’s Cube enthusiasts and hosting official competitions across the country.

The Rubik’s Cube was created by Hungarian inventor Erno Rubik in 1974, where it went on to become one of the world’s best selling puzzles. This iconic toy of the 1980s has seen resurgence in popularity in the 21st century thanks to the Internet and international speedsolving competitions. The current official world record for fastest Rubik’s Cube solve is 7.08 seconds, set by Erik Akkersdjik in 2008.

Canadian Blood Services is a national, not-for-profit charitable organization that manages the supply of blood and blood products in all provinces and territories outside of Quebec. Canadian Blood Services also oversees the OneMatch Stem Cell and Marrow Network, and provides national leadership for organ and tissue donation and transplantation. Canadian Blood Services operates 40 permanent collection sites and more than 20,000 donor clinics annually. The provincial and territorial Ministries of Health provide operational funding to Canadian Blood Services. The federal government, through Health Canada, is responsible for regulating the blood system. For more information, please visit our Web site at www.blood.ca.

Call 1-888-2-DONATE to book an appointment to donate blood.

Visit www.canadiancubing.com for more information on Vancouver Open 2009.

###

For more information, please contact:
Vince Yim
Phone: 604.338.2011
E-mail: vancubers@gmail.com

Sub50

2009-04-19T18:03:00.005-07:00

After months of training and eating like a teenager, I successfully did what I set out to accomplish: I entered the Sun Run and was able to completely wipe out my time from last year. Last year, 57 minutes, 58 seconds. This year, under 50 minutes. I attribute this to several factors, including my training, the challenge I put out to my coworkers (that I would personally pour coffee for them if they could beat my fastest time), proper nutrition, and equal balance of training and rest (although going drinking with my buddies the night before might've been a bad idea). But the biggest factor was that I made sure my bowels and bladder were evacuated prior to running.

The same cannot be said for this poor chap who I encountered on the Burrard Street Bridge who had a very distinctive brown wet spot that extended to his knees. At first I thought he was some homeless guy who somehow stumbled onto the Sun Run, but when I took a quick look at him, he had a Sun Run registration number pinned to his shirt. The overwhelming stench of fecal matter encouraged me to run a little faster. This alone probably allowed me to shave 5 or 10 seconds off my final time.

It's not completely unheard of for triathalon athletes to lose control of bodily functions while in the middle of a run and he did have an extremely dazed expression on his face, suggesting that he was really not doing well. However, this was only 2km into a 10km run and this guy was walking. The fact that he was wearing jeans strongly indicates that he was very unprepared for the Sun Run and probably shouldn't have been on there in the first place.

I have no idea what was going through this guy's head (although we already can guess what went through his pants). Rest stops were spaced out at fairly reasonable intervals, and even still, he could've found some bushes or a dumpster somewhere.

But really, I do feel for the guy. Sentient and civilized control of our bodily wastes is one of the few things that separate us from animals. But even when we have our occasional little slip ups, we do whatever we can to keep them hidden. Heck, even dropping out of the race to go find a cheap pair of pants and then a public washroom to clean up would be the most logical solution, but not for this guy.

Maybe he's just the most stubborn Sun Runner in existence.

The Broken Window Theory

2009-03-28T04:56:00.002-07:00

The Broken Window Theory suggests that failure to clean up any sort of building defacement will eventually result in the said area eventually degrading into a complete crap-hole. Okay, not quite in such terms, but it seems to suggest that small little things, allowed to accumulate, eventually snowball into something much larger and harder to contain. Conversely, fixing small problems immediately puts a stop to that.

Take my building, for example. Unfortunately, people in my building a very poor sense of etiquette when it comes to properly disposing of large items of trash like furniture. The corridors of the building are being used as trash dumping grounds, leaving others to take care of the problem. I'll occasionally pick it up, like if someone leaves a few bottles and cans, from which I can get a deposit. But lately, it's been getting ridiculous and the items being dumped around are getting progressively larger and larger.

As of this writing, I count two televisions, three chairs, two bed frames, two mattress/box spring sets, a dresser, and two couches that have been just DUMPED there with no one to claim them or take responsibility for them. I have half a mind to take each of these items and set them on fire in the middle of the night. All I know is that because one person is willing to dump something there, everyone else feels free to, in spite of a sign saying "No dumping, fine $1000". With no surveillance, who's going to know?

With all of this happening, I suddenly feel less and less motivated to clean up after the dog after she does her business on the lawn behind the building. I mean, the dog's leavings will eventually biodegrade after less than a week, plus they will also add to the compost and help encourage grass growth. That old television? It'll biodegrade too. After about a thousand something years.

We really need to move.

2.0

2009-02-16T18:11:00.004-08:00

With my last PC upgrade in 2004, I didn't go any further than asking for the case in advance and then spray painting my own design onto it. It's far from being a professional looking design, given the tools I used, but that's pretty much where it all started.

I've had an interesting relationship with computers, being that I'm far from the most tech savvy around (there's a reason why I switched my major to arts), although I can now comfortably say I'm capable of building my own computer from scratch. Well, yes and no.

Since getting that old upgrade in 2004, quite a few things have happened to that computer's hardware setup. The motherboard decided to commit suicide about a year and a half in (possibly due to a power surge). The cause of this was unknown, so I took it to the shop to get it swapped out. Then in 2007, the CD-R drive stopped working, but being that the part was simple enough to replace, I just went to the local electronics store to get a DVD-RW. And then, due to some sort of hardware conflict, the computer just kept rebooting itself after I got to the Windows loadup screen.

Not knowing what to do, I went back to my original computer dealer and asked him to check it out. What he reported to me was that my video card wasn't seated properly, which he fixed. He then proceeded to upgrade my RAM, which would supposedly address some performance issues. So, I get the bad boy home, fire it up, and lo and behold, it still reboots itself when Windows loads up.

After trying a multitude of quick fixes, I just try something random and decide to uninstall Norton SystemWorks (no, it doesnt!), which I was contemplating doing anyway (that, and it didn't prevent me from getting a nasty piece of spyware), and suddenly I'm able to boot up my system.

Flash forward to 2009. The computer is getting kinda slow from years of internet build up, stuff that I never got around to deleting, and generally just being 4 years old. So, the missus and I decide that we're just going to clean out our hard drives and start rebuilding the file systems from scratch. Backing up everything (well, almost everything...), we clean off the slate, but I'm still not satisfied. Despite repeated attempts at cleaning out the computer case and fans with compressed air and vacuuming, it's still noisy as hell. Asking my friend who provided tech support, we collectively determine that the main source of noise in the computer is the power supply.

So, $100 or so later, I run home with a new power supply and promptly install it, which takes less than a few minutes. And, it doesn't take care of the problem. Understandable, as there are three sources of noise in the computer, namely the case fan, the CPU heatsink fan, and the fan on the graphics card. Going in order of cheapness and feasibility of things to replace, I go case fan (under $10), CPU HSF (under $50), and at a last resort, graphics card (the newer of which wouldn't be compatible with my motherboard).

With the newfound confidence that comes with being able to install a power supply really quickly, I proceed to take apart my computer and have my motherboard in my hands, where I am trying to figure out how the heck I remove the stock heatsink fan. Looking at the new heatsink fan, I follow the instructions, thinking that my motherboard utilizes an Intel LGA775 socket. Without a second thought, I proceed to remove the mounting bracket, popping out the anchoring pegs and squeezing together the pins with a pair of pliers, but one is particularly problematic to remove, so I start twisting a little more aggressively.

I then take a quick look at the motherboard wiring diagram that I'm viewing on my laptop. Much to my slight disappointment, it turns out that the motherboard utilizes Socket 478, which has a different set of instructions for mounting the heatsink fan. Much to my horror, I realize that the pliers left behind a noticeable gouge at the bottom of the motherboard, leaving one or two connections exposed and severed. Oops.

Disheartened, I already know the result of this, but put the computer together anyway. I don't even get as far as the BIOS screen.

Lesson learned #1: Double check beforehand to ensure that I'm following the correct set of instructions.
Lesson learned #2: Metal tools do not often mix well with sensitive electronics.

Feeling pretty stupid and a little bit crestfallen as a result, I try to justify it to myself by reminding myself how old the computer is, and that I was probably going to upgrade it anyway. But the fact remains that the upgrade must occur sooner than I was originally planning (it was going to coincide with the release of StarCraft II). Checking my finances as to what I can realistically afford, I go to the local NCIX to see what kind of package I can get for the money I can scrounge up from the ole change jar.

Of course, what I already suspect is confirmed - very little of the machine is salvagable, although I will be saving some money on the stuff that I can salvage (the case, the hard drive, the DVD-R drive, the power supply, the fans). But, I can't even salvage the DDR on my old system, as is has since been outmoded twice, although I can think where it can go when I'm done with it, provided that it's compatible. After waiting until I have sufficient cash flow, I head back and pick up my loot, and it's even dropped by a couple bucks. Gotta love how technology outpaces the inflation rate.

The entire installation and configuration process starts in the morning for preparation (getting packages opened, planning attack), and then quickly realizing that I'm also out of thermal paste (interface material between the CPU and the heatsink fan) and the new motherboard has rendered two PCI devices obsolete, which will leave behind two expansion slot holes.

Lesson learned #3: Make sure that all materials are in hand before proceeding with install to avoid running around town to obtain parts.

Luckily, both materials are readily available. Not working on the computer until the evening, the install takes well into the wee hours of the morning, partly because I want to take my time and do this properly (ie: not have a repeat of the pliers vs. motherboard incident), but mostly owing to the fact that this is the first time I'm doing hardware replacements on this level.

Because this stuff is really tiny and delicate, it's to maneuver my hands into the chasis to put things in like screws, leading to much trial and error, until I realize that the largest components are easily movable.

Lesson learned #4: It's much easier to navigate around the inside of a desktop PC when you take out the power supply.

After reading and re-reading the wiring digrams, I hope and pray that I have everything right and then I run into another stumbling block. The old motherboard had two ports for IDE devices, which were once occupied by the DVD-R drive and the hard drive. The new motherboard has ONE port for an IDE device. And of course, the DVD-R drive and hard drive don't have ports for SATA, of which the motherboard has, like, half a dozen.

Looking at my collection of IDE cables, my initial fears are calmed by the realization the IDE cable can actually hook up two devices to it. But unfortunately, the three plugs are the same shape and spread out along this ribbon-like cable, and they aren't spread out evenly, which means two plugs are really close together and the other one is really far apart. Looking at my current set up, my DVD-R drive and hard drive are 10 inches apart, but the hard drive is relatively close to the IDE plug, so I hook it up that way.

Thinking I have it all set up and ready to go, I proceed to spend the next 5 minutes reaching behind the computer to blindly plug in every single device. Like, every single one. Even the network cable, which unfortunately is a little bit shorter than I'd like. And then I boot it up, and then get error message about a bad boot disc. Okay, try it again. Same error message. So, maybe I should just reinstall Windows? I use the BIOS setup to boot from the DVD-R drive. Nothing happens. I then proceed to unplug everything and crack the system open again to see what went wrong.

Lesson learned #5: Do not hook everything up until you're sure the thing works properly.

Thinking it might have something to do with my jumper settings, I double check to make sure that the DVD-R is set to "slave" and the HD is set to "master," which it is. I then swap out the IDE cable, thinking that it is faulty. I then go back, try to hook in a few more devices (because really, I just love staying up past midnight), and then I get the same error message.

Not quite ready to give up and go to sleep, I unplug everything, and this time I decide to move my monitor, keyboard, and mouse to my work area. With my last IDE cable, namely the one that came with the motherboard, I take a closer look and realize that the plugs are actually colour coded and the end that goes into the motherboard matches. Of course, that presents an additional problem as to how to plug in two devices together, which I solve by simply moving the DVD-R drive to the lowest drive bay position.

Lesson learned #6: Just because the plug will physically fit, doesn't mean that it's supposed to go there.

With the new physical hardware properly installed, I then attempt to boot up my computer, and doesn't quite recognize the new hardware yet, because it reboots itself each time, but at least it acknowledges the hard drive, meaning it's at least hooked up properly. Safe mode doesn't quite cut it, so I decide to repair my Windows installation. And as I already am aware, I have to verify that I'm the legitimate owner of Windows, as they immediately assume that because the hardware changed, that I obviously pirated it.

With that out of the way, I crack open the case again, ensure that everything is hooked up properly (even lights that don't light up properly), and then finally hook everything up, confident that it'll work this time.

Lesson learned #7: Unless the drivers are properly installed, do not assume that plug and play is going to automatically save you.

Of course, nothing is working like it used to, since the software is expecting a 4-year old hardware set up. And, I have no internet, which means I can't download patches and drivers, but thankfully, I have the driver discs in front of me. Eventually, the internet starts working again, but I still can't hear anything, even though I supposedly installed drivers (choosing the "install all" option). I reboot several times, no results. So, I take a closer look at the install disc and then select the audio set up, and lo-and-behold, it works.

I look at the time and it's now 2AM and I don't have any current games installed on my system. I was contemplating holding out for a PS3, given that games for PS3 are guaranteed to run on PS3, whereas games for PC will require you to drop several times the dollar equivalent of a PS3 on your PC so the games will run, but being that my system is now capable of running current games, I go for it. Not wanting to put my system at the mercy of draconian DRM (Digital Rights Management) that will put a limit on the number of installs and make it harder to use, I log into the Steam network, where I purchase and download Left 4 Dead, which I know is on a 50% off sale, going for $24.99. I set it up for download overnight. Amazingly, this is the easiest part of the whole computer installation thing.

Lesson learned #8: Always leave time for computer games.

Crashing Through the Snow

2008-12-21T00:34:00.006-08:00

Does anybody remember the movie Lost World: Jurassic Park? If you blocked it out (because really, that movie is kinda embarrassing), there's a scene where a T-Rex nudges a couple of trailers towards a cliff, so a quick thinking hero hitches the trailers onto the back of his truck and he floors the gas pedal so that he can pull the trailers back onto safe ground. And of course, the truck is hydroplaning on muddy ground from side to side, but somehow manages to his goal.

I sometimes wonder if that film was used in lieu of proper driver's ed.

Vancouver residents are usually used to two types of weather: rain and sunny periods. However, the tendency seems to be that a single flake of snow hits the ground, and all the lessons of driver's ed are spontaneously forgotten. It's not complete rocket science. Drive slowly and leave plenty of room behind the vehicle in front of you.

It's quite simple, actually. If your wheels are spinning, it means that they aren't getting a proper grip on the road, so you aren't going to be moving that fast. And to avoid that, you lightly touch the gas pedal so that your tires get a proper grip on the snow and move you forward. I don't even consider myself a "great" driver, yet I was able to get home safely without sliding or spinning, and all without the benefit of snow tires and chains. And yes, the road conditions on Granville street were pretty horrendous.

And of course, I encountered at least three drivers that managed to completely forget the basic rules of driving in adverse road conditions. I could make a few concessions for the guy in the Ford Mustang GT. It's a rear wheel drive vehicle, which makes it more difficult to climb up steep inclines. We watched as he slid completely off to the side.

The guy in the Mazda 3 fared slightly better, as he was able to at least sort of keep up with traffic. I'm assuming that he had decent tires, even though he was spinning his wheels the entire way. He also had front wheel drive. but I still made a point of giving this guy a clear path.

What really made the trip truly memorable was the young woman driving an Audi Quattro. It's times like this that remind me that there's a good reason why the Chinese are stereotyped as bad drivers, and as much as I would prefer to deny it, times like this make me hang my head in shame. And I'm Chinese, and I drive, which by definition, makes me a "Chinese driver."

For starters, she was gunning the engine, causing the wheels to spin in place, yet she wasn't going very fast. As a result, she was seriously impeding traffic, and I wasn't able to overtake her for a while, as traffic in the other lane was being impeded by another guy who was also spinning his wheels. What made it even better, was the fact that her passenger actually got out of the vehicle to kick snow out of the way. And yes, they were both Chinese.

It's bad enough that she's impeding traffic because she doesn't know how to drive in adverse road conditions, but the logic behind their alternative attempt at moving just boggles the mind. It's pretty certain that the vehicle isn't going to be moving very fast while the wheels are spinning, but there is still the off-hand chance that the wheels will catch a grip somewhere...while the guy is in front of her kicking snow out of the way. And then there also begs the question. For how long were they planning on doing this? There's a pretty good chance that they live in Richmond too. Do they plan to cross the Oak street bridge like that too?

I'm really anticipating tomorrow's morning news showing some guy got run over by an Audi because he was trying to clear the snow by kicking it out of the way.

Gold Medal in Complaining Goes To...(cue anthem)

2008-08-13T17:09:00.004-07:00

The Olympic games has always invited controversy no matter what. Allegation of doping, bribery of officials, poor sportsmanship, and misappropriation of government resources to hold games have all been sources of controversy. The 2008 Beijing games are especially controversial, especially over China's human rights records and air quality. As to the games themselves, the Chinese women's gymnastics team has gotten controversy as they look a little bit young to be 16, the minimum age for competition. And of course, the Chinese team landed gold.

At one point, the words "never accepting defeat" usually meant taking your mistakes, learning from them, and trying that much harder in the next competition. Now, it seems to mean something else entirely. In certain cases, such as bribing of officials or illegal substances, the case is certainly legitimate. For example, in one swimming event, the Chinese winner came first, although was immediately disqualified after a false start.

So, when the favoured American team fails to land gold, it's nothing to do with training tactics of China being superior to Americans or their the Americans unable to focus under pressure. No, it's the stadium official's fault that Alicia Sacramone fell off the balance beam and didn't stick the landing during a floor exercise.

There is no doubt that athletic training is a very strict discipline, even more so in the Olympic levels. You literally eat, sleep, breath, live for the sport and have nothing else. However, in China, they take it a bit further. Chinese children are hand-picked from their homes and daycares when they are just able to walk, and are put to long training regimens, and if they're lucky, they get to see their parents once a year. Western countries have side-line parents that berate coaches and officials when their precious little snowflakes don't see ice time.

Simply put, the Chinese get things done, human rights and individual liberties be damned. It's a bit of a frightening way to look at it, with the notion that individual liberties and democracy are highly overrated, but look at the results. China's economy is a juggernaut with no signs of slowing and their athletes are cleaning up. Western countries place a lot of emphasis on individual liberties and freedoms, and are somehow shocked when these things don't come at a price.

Everything comes with a price, including the rigorous Chinese training regimen. Athletes training with rigorous pace can achieve excellence in sport, but once their bodies are no longer able to maintain the pace, what else can they do? Unfortunately, there are a lot more athletes than coaches, so they really have to come up with a new game plan. This is doubly the case for athletes in communist states, where they have zero skills in any other application. Look at Jackie Chan, one of the most well known actors from Hong Kong. He was inducted into the Beijing Opera School at a very young age and considered a great athlete in his day, but now in his 50s, he's functionally illiterate. And for Chinese athletes that are permanently injured, they're essentially treated like American war veterans, and no one ever remembers Chinese athletes after their glories have long past, because of the emphasis on the state over the individual. People still remember Mary Lou Retton.

Sometimes, you have to wonder if the Beijing Olympics are a metaphor for the direction the world is taking. China, not previously a strong medal contender, is a serious force to be reckoned with. America, previously strong in most events, especially women's gymnastics, is forced to take second, and can only complain.

Vancouver Open 2008, post mortem

2008-06-22T21:40:00.005-07:00

After years of practice, I entered my first Rubik's Cube speedsolving competition...only to get schooled by a 7th grader.

The first official competition outside of Toronto, the event conformed to standards held by the World Cubing Association, complete with judges, scramble algorithms, and trash talking only done in the most light-hearted sense.

I've been eagerly awaiting this competition, even though I have yet to crack the sub20 second mark (one of the desired benchmarks is a 15 second average, and the world record is currently under 9 seconds), but was able to hold my own enough to make final round. Among the highlights of the competition:

Top three places for Rubik's Cube held by newcomers Ibrahim Vajgel-Shedid (average of 15.47 seconds), Kristopher de Asis (average of 18.14 seconds), and Deseree Aune (average of 20.83 seconds), making her the fastest female Canadian cuber.
Ibrahim Vajgel-Shedid winning at pretty much every event he entered - MiniCube (2x2x2), Rubik's Cube (3x3x3), and Rubik's Revenge (4x4x4).
American Jameson O'Connor bringing his entire twisty puzzle collection, ranging from eBay rarities to custom pieces...many of which ended up getting broken. Oops.
Organizer Hong Chen capturing the first place rank for blindfold solving, followed by Kristopher de Asis. Everyone else didn't finish.

A respectable showing, but hopefully the first of many. Now to get a sub20 Rubik's Cube solve.

Weird Eats

2008-06-01T21:40:00.003-07:00

"Ancient people found that their clothes got cleaner when they washed them in a certain point in the river. Y'know why? Human sacrifices were once made on the hills above the river. Bodies burned and water seeped into the wood and ashes to create lye."

"Look at your hand. The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes. Like the first monkey shot into space. Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing."

-Tyler Durden, Fight Club

While having dinner with my girlfriend and a mutual friend, the dinner conversation turned to odd foodstuffs and the mindset required to actually resort to consuming them. My girlfriend is a bit of a coffee connoisseur, so she inquired about obtaining kopi luak, a type of coffee that has been processed in the digestive system of the luak, the local name given to the Asian Palm Civet, a wild mammal native to South East Asia.

In theory, upon consumption, the luak's digestive system enzymes partially break down the coffee beans, removing much of the bitter taste after the undigested beans pass through the system. Upon harvesting (a task destined for Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs, if there ever was one), these beans are cleaned, ground, and turned into the most expensive coffee in the world (never mind the fact that a 2008 Stanford study indicated that 1000 random taste testers couldn't tell the difference between that and the cheap brands).

This is but one of the weird foods that have become delicacies in parts of the world. Others may be familiar with durian, a fruit with an extremely foul aroma that has gotten it banned in public transportation in South East Asia. The Simpsons episode "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Bluefish" taught the world about fugu, a Japanese pufferfish that has been known to cause fatal poisoning when prepared improperly.

The conversation turned to us speculating as to how certain things defy all logic and wisdom and somehow end up being turned into food. If it's excreted from an animal's bottom, we leave it where it lies or we put it in a bag and toss it in the trash. If it's prickly and spiky and smells like turpentine and raw sewage, we leave it alone. If parts of it are poisonous, we don't touch the things. So how do they fetch stupidly high prices at the gourmet supermarket and restaurants? And why did we end up eating them in the first place? And who thought it would be a great idea to go to all this effort just to figure out how to eat it safely?

My first theory is that it's to do with desperation. When people get really hungry, people start eating just about anything. It's been established that dandelions, often the scourge of proud lawn owners, are edible and can even be found in salads. Denise suggests that everything is so accessible, that we've got bored with everything else.

So, that leaves the next question. How many people had to die before they figured out the proper way to prepare fugu? Fugu has been around as a foodstuff since at least 2000 years, so they've had at least that long to get it right, which invalidates my original theory that the Yakuza was using it as a method to kill off their enemies, and the survivors figured out that they were eating the right portions of it. An alternate theory is that they studied what predatory animals left behind and figured that those parts were toxic.

Denise tells me of a specific type of nut that must be prepared in a very specific manner -- it must be mashed, chewed, cooked for an exact period of time. Anything else and it will be toxic. And apparently, this was a traditional type of dish too (ie: before the invention of stopwatches and egg timers and the use of laboratory animals in research).

And then there's another alternate theory...it was force fed to the peasants so that the rich would know what food to eat without dying horrible deaths.

Rubik's Cube Competition - Vancouver Open, June 14th 2008

2008-05-18T22:08:00.003-07:00

(click to enlarge, click here to download a PDF.)

Crisis? What Crisis?

2008-05-11T09:52:00.002-07:00

While most people take comfort in knowing that they may be/are right, this is one case where I really, really hope that I'm wrong.

As of this writing, oil is over $126USD/barrel, the local gas station now charges $1.35 per litre of gas, food riots are occurring in Asia and Africa, global grain are increasing, leading to higher prices for staples here in North America and starvation and famine overseas, subprime mortgages are causing mass foreclosures and homelessness across America, and the world population just went past 6.666666666 billion people.

All of these are just ingredients to a perfect storm that will easily erode the global social infrastructure, leading to panic, chaos, civil unrest, and the downfall of western civilization.

This is something I've written about previously (see archives for more details) and I've realized that most people don't want to deal with it directly. Heck, I don't want to deal with it directly. The concept of the downfall of civilization is sobering and depressing. Who wants to think that their way of life is going to change for the worst? Who wants to think that all of humanity's great achievements will be lost and forgotten? Who wants to think about all of the mass employment that will result as the vast majority of industries dependent on energy will gradually become irrelevant? Aerospace, computers, film, electronics, robotics, automotive mechanics, airline travel, space exploration...all obsolete.

As much as I can hope and pray for a soft landing after our tumbling from the peak of civilization, I fear that it's not going to happen. Hurricane Katrina served as a horrible warning of what we can expect - the dissolution of social infrastructure leads to chaos. Katrina was evil mirror opposite of 9/11, where 9/11 was responded with an immediate outpouring of support, but the people of New Orleans were left to their own devices. So, when social infrastructure is completely powered by oil, what can we expect, except mini Hurricane Katrinas all over the world?

Ass-backwards approaches to the way we do things hasn't been helping matters along. In an effort to conserve oil, somebody thought it was a great idea to divert food stocks (ie: corn) and turn them into ethanol to power our monster SUVs and minivans, even though research indicates that the energy return on energy invested is negative. We regularly consume meat, even though we're essentially running at a fraction of energy efficiency, consuming 7 kilograms of grain to breed 1 kilogram of beef.

Many of our problems are indicative of a peak in oil production, given how much the price has increased lately (a gain of $30 a barrel in less than 5 months, $12 gain in less than a week), but we've been all focused on trying to curtail global warming and climate change. In effect, there's a strong possibility that the peak in oil production may essentially take care of the problem. With everybody priced out of the market and too poor to afford stuff, trucks will stop hauling our coveted Walmart crap across the country, China will stop spewing factory fumes into the air, and cars will be pulled off the road because no one can afford to fill up their tanks anymore.

Maybe, JUST MAYBE, after all the dust has settled, then we can work on rebuilding civilization to a more sustainable state. More emphasis on family, community, and the environment, less emphasis on consumption and individual achievement. The people will live healthier, happier, with less environmental toxins and pollutions and stress.

So will it be a soft landing or a crash landing? Well, at least if it's a crash landing, we'll recover faster.

In Memoriam

2008-04-16T22:51:00.002-07:00

In Memoriam
Victor Yim
July 5, 1937 - April 16, 2004

They needed a specialist for THAT?!

2008-01-25T21:36:00.000-08:00

Over the past few months, I've developed a moderate case of eczema, which is usually a manifestation of impaired liver function or allergies. I bit the bullet and went to a dermatologist in November and was scheduled to undergo a patch test to determine what I'm allergic to. This appointment is booked for December 19th.

I receive a phone call two days prior, telling me that the specialist was going on holiday. On the day of my appointment. While I admit that it was my bad not giving the right phone number, which resulted in a delay in them contacting me. However, I really question the professionalism when they give such last minute notice that they're going on vacation. And, they even tell me that there are no other appointment dates within a day or two of the original appointment date, so I now have to wait over a month.

Flash-forward to January 25th. I'm not really looking forward to this because I know allergy tests involve them scratching allergens into your skin. Then I finally find out that a patch test only involves them taping strips of chemicals to your back and then you come back 48 hours later to see what induces a reaction.

This takes a total of five minutes. This also obviously required the expertise of a specialist, because there was no way they could get just about anybody else from the office to TAPE FOUR STRIPS OF MATERIAL TO MY BACK, because that's just so difficult and requires years of training and experience to do properly.

The upside is that I'll finally figure out what I'm allergic to so I can know what to avoid eating. The downside is that I can't shower until 48 hours after the patch test is administered and the chemical patches are removed.

2008-01-11T00:16:00.000-08:00

1 Guy 1 Bowl

My old supervisor once said that whenever a civilization is about to go under, they start doing all sorts of messed up stuff like human sacrifices, Roman showers, vomitoriums, and cannibalism. Somehow, I don't think we're that far off.

2007-11-04T12:09:00.000-08:00

More (Mis)Adventures In Craigslistland
(originally posted at http://vancouver.craigslist.org/zip/466369142.html)

Reply to: sale-466369142@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-11-01, 6:14PM PDT

Hey, guys. It's me again. However, it seems like the message ain't exactly getting through, because yet again, crap with varying level of usefulness is littered where it really doesn't belong. C'mon. It's NOT THAT HARD. Regardless of its state, there are proper channels to get rid of your crap. If it's not usable, send it to the local dump or recycling facility yourself. If it's still usable, donate it to charity. Heck, even put up a notice on the community bulletin board. Or better yet, use Craigslist. Last time I did this, two out of three items were gone in less than 12 hours.

Yes, I'll admit that some of these items are quite sizeable, and without a car, it makes it a bit of a pain in the butt to cart around. But even still, local charities will actually pick some of this stuff up for you IF YOU ASK.

Look people. Even if your mom does live here (which she might), it's still YOUR responsibility to clean up after yourself. Dumping it wherever the heck you feel will not only raise the ire of your neighbours and the strata, but will also mean that the strata garbage pickup guys will charge us more for it.

Up for grabs is the following.

1. Bookshelf. It might be made out of wood, or it might be made out of particle board with paper covering to vaguely resemble wood. The thing is pretty tall and wide, so it'll hold a lot of books. Or, it'll hold a lot of picture frames and figurines. Or, you can take it apart and use it for firewood. I don't frickin' care, just get it out of here.

UPDATE: The bookshelf is actually made out of aluminum, painted to merely look like wood. But that's kinda moot because somebody already has picked this up, so it's gone. Thanks, Telly! You rock!

2. Cat exercise gym. I'm guessing this thing is used, and most likely has residual traces of whatever cat used it (I won't go into graphic details...this is a family website). If you Febreeze or bleach the hell out of it, it might be clean enough for your cat (but all those extra chemicals might give you cancer). But, you know how finicky cats can be. Failing that, you might be able to turn it into some crazy art project. Spray paint and sparkles not included.

3. Acer CRT monitor. I don't even know if this thing works. If it does, hey, free monitor. If it doesn't, you can convert it into a fish tank or you can use it as a prop in an independent student film if you're doing a remake of "Office Space" (although yes, I know that they used a copier). I don't care what you do with it, really. As long as it's legal (although if you're using it on your computer to download MP3s, I *GUESS* that's okay).

Like last time, I cannot and will not vouch for the quality or workmanship of any of this stuff, nor will I be held responsible for anything that happens as a result of you picking this stuff up. If your cat pulls up a random staple from the cat gym and requires emergency veterinary surgery, that is YOUR problem. If the bookshelf collapses and destroys a priceless China set, I don't care. If you actually attempt to turn the CRT monitor into a fish tank and you forget to unplug it and get electrocuted, lemme know so I can inform the guys who give out the Darwin Awards.

2007-11-03T22:43:00.000-07:00

Survival of the (Un)Fittest

"Mensa membership exceeding, tell me why and how are all the stupid people breeding."

"The Idiots Have Taken Over", by NOFX

While watching Akeelah and the Bee, I started thinking about the current education system and how much it is preparing children for life outside of school. Technology has had a large impact over education, both positive and negative. Technology means that kids have the potential to learn at a geometric rate (kinda like Skynet), but at the same time learn facts without fundamentals. And, they don't really know how to spell.

During my time on PlentyOfFish.com, between meeting people, I was on the message boards. One particular group was dedicated to profile reviews. Given my current occupation and school background, I took it upon myself to review people's profiles, partly for general appeal to target audience, but more often than not, for grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

The most common spelling mistake I would point out is "a lot." The number of times I was correcting it was highly indicative of several things, one being the low level of spelling skills among an unfortunate percentage of the users on that site. The other being lack of motivation to read and do some level of edits before submitting for review.

I'm not sure if it's just overuse of spellcheckers that have caused this (why bother learning to spell when MS Word is going to automatically correct it for you?). Either that, or it's severely de-emphasized in the school system. However, I can still recall 10th Grade English class, where the teacher was STILL telling us the difference between "a lot" (a large quantity) and "allot" (to distribute or mete out).

Um...isn't that something that you're supposed to have nailed in THIRD GRADE?

Spelling gaffes are a surefire way to blow credibility in anything, whether it be a resumé, visual presentation, or advertisement. I'm still thinking of a public service ad on the bus where they actually used "who's" (contraction for "who is") instead of "whose" (possessive article).

Stuff like this truly makes me feel better about my level of job security, given the fact that there will always be a "need" for it. But, being that no one notices spelling until something is spelled wrong, it doesn't necessarily mean that anyone will appreciate it.

2007-10-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

Previously, I was talking about inconsiderate neighbours who dump their unwanted furniture in the communal garbage area without any consideration for others who definitely DON'T want to have to deal with this crap. The situation finally came to a head when somebody dumped to large pieces of furniture (ie: too large to fit into the dumpsters) by the trash collection areas.

But, evidently, I'm not the only one who had a problem with it, as I found this note posted on top of an old chair that really needed to be re-upholstered.

These pieces of furniture have been there for the better part of a week without the said tenant coming to retrieve them, so I did the Robin Hood thing and I posted it up on Craigslist. Lo and behold, in less than 24 hours, I have 5 responses and they are gone. To demonstrate to the anonymous douchebag who decided to arbitrarily dump his crap there that there are proper channels for getting rid of unwanted crap, I printed the posting and tacked it on the communal bulletin board.

Unfortunately, the exercise bike is still there, while the note that was tacked on the bulletin board has since been removed.

2007-08-24T21:16:00.001-07:00

Traditional male roles are always changing with society, partly due to roles that females take on, as well as influence of the media. This led to an interesting discussion with my coworkers. I work in an office that is predominantly female, which means the editorial staff is all women and the sales and marketing staff is all women. The balance is slightly offset in a few departments, such as graphic design.

But, as a result, I find myself doing a larger percentage of heavy lifting, even more so since the only male editorial intern goes back to school soon.

Technology has also had a fairly major impact on male roles, which has added more responsibilities to the list.

So far, I have it down to:

Move heavy furniture
Open jars (pasta sauce, pickles)
Reprogram VCRs (now replaced by PVRs, DVRs, etc.)
Kill spiders (or, if you like spiders, letting them outside)
Hunt down buffalo
Set up internet connections (we have an IT department for this, so I don't have to, although I was asked how to change the view options on Outlook)
Assemble Ikea furniture (instruction manuals optional)

addendums:
Clean up a woman's plate (ie: the stuff that's left over from her plate after she's full)
Replace objects in the shelves that are harder to reach.
Install all electronics (instruction manuals optional).
Carry groceries.

2007-08-22T08:04:00.001-07:00

Please Eat Tasty Animals.

I've briefly toyed with the idea of going vegetarian, more for environmental reasons (ie: lowering my carbon footprint), although that didn't last too long because tofu burgers don't taste nearly as good as the real thing and I really like to be able to get my vitamin B₁₂ without supplementation. My g.f. is equally glad I'm not a vegetarian, due to the social aspects of eating.

Last weekend, we were over at Memphis Blues, a restaurant that serves a lot of meat products. Pork, chicken, ribs...stuff that would cause the average PETA member to go up in arms. But what amused me the most were the souvenir t-shirts they had for sale. One had the word "vegetarian" with a red circle and slash through it. Another said (words to the effect of), "The best racks in town."

I'm assuming that one only comes in women's petite sizes. Or for really, really fat guys.

2007-08-04T00:45:00.001-07:00

How much do I love my girlfriend? Her dog just puked on the floor and the rug and I just cleaned it up. It smells like skunk spray too.

2007-08-04T00:10:00.000-07:00

At one point, Denise suggested to me that I write a gushing, sappy blog post about how much I love her. I said I would do so when I was in the mood, although she took that to mean when I actually felt that way for her. Considering the tone that my blog usually takes, it's more that it's outside of my regular writing style and subject matter than a reflection of how I feel.

Instead, I will tell you how much I love my girlfriend by talking about the things I do. I took her dog out to the back of her apartment for some fresh air and so she can do her business. Lo and behold, she saw a skunk and decided to chase after it. I have spent the last half hour running around town to find a 24 hour Shoppers Drug Mart to obtain 1L of hydrogen peroxide for the purpose of deodorizing the dog.

As I write this, she is in the bathroom holding the dog down while applying the mixture. In a few minutes, I will be called in to assist.

This is how much I love my girlfriend. If there were any doubts, this should clear all of them.

2007-07-13T13:58:00.001-07:00

While on facebook, I posted a question asking about the largest contributor to the problems of the world. Some gave one-to-two-worded answers ("greed" and "poverty" are two popular choices), although someone did say something about apathy, to which is something I can see.

However, for me, it's more of a source of annoyance than anything else, which is why I posted the left image on two common areas in my building.

It seems that people simply do not know how to read or are just too lazy and expect others to clean up after them. On two occasions, I have spotted two items tossed with reckless abandon in the trash disposal areas. I have a big enough beef with recyclable items such as used clothing and obsolete electronics getting turfed, but even more so when they are placed in random areas in the pretense that someone else will find use for them.

In previous years, some municipalities would hold "clean-up weeks", in which people would put out mass amounts of supposedly reusable items like old televisions and furniture, however, it became abused, as items not allowed (old refrigerators, construction debris) was also put out. This may be another holdover from that mentality, which unfortunately doesn't really work.

When charitable organizations and proper recycling facilities exist, it upsets me when they are not used and the onus is placed on people who are ultimately not the ones responsible for creating the mess in the first place.

But then, it could also argue that this is also a form of apathy.

2007-07-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

30.

(birthday roda at the Fintry campgrounds, July 6, 2007)

Yes, I have hit that purportedly painful milestone in my life, where I am now officially in a different demographic. Certain expectations in life really were supposed to have been fulfilled by now, such as marriage, solidly established career, home ownership, level of education, and the ability to pay off bills that are slightly more advanced than a cell phone bill.

Depending on one's scale for "life expectancy" (that is, what one's expected to do in life), I "might" be doing okay, although I'm still renting and I'm not married yet. That, and I don't have a really established career per se, having changed jobs about three times since turning 29, although I really do like the company I'm working with...they even got me a birthday cake when I wasn't there, which we all shared after the fact. They also got me a card which joked about Godzilla being the only one capable of lighting all the candles on the cake.

Turning 30 might not actually be as bad as it seems, as I still don't feel any different than I did when I was 29. Sure, I have more responsibilities and there are certain things that are expected of me. However, the fact that my girlfriend points out the fact that I have more grey hairs sprouting out of my skull than she does is a reminder that I am not "young" anymore. Thankfully, due to the Asian age formula (take the age which you look, add five), I can still pass for mid-20s. Unless I show them my ID.

However, I'm going to fake it as long as I can. Eat properly, no smoking or excessive drinking, exercising regularly, and playing as many video games as my extremely busy schedule will allow.

Easier said than done. I have work to do still!

2007-05-26T05:55:00.000-07:00

"ARE YOU ENTERTAINED?!"

As a result, there's a moratorium on winning anything from The Beat 94.5 for at least three months. If you notice, DJ Flipout is coming up to the karaoke screen to see, if indeed, the "indistinct grunts" are included in the lyrics. Yes, and they're listed as "ARF...ARF-ARF...ARF-ARF...ARF-ARF."

2007-05-04T21:01:00.000-07:00

"Won't someone think of the children?!"

Kneejerk reactions to the perceived anti-social behaviour seems to be the norm these days. Every time there is a horrible event such as the Columbine shootings or the more recent Virginia Tech shooting, there is the long-standing search for answers and reasons and scapegoats.

We all recall the blame heaped on everything from Grand Theft Auto to Marilyn Manson to the breakdown of the family unit whenever stuff like this goes wrong, but this also starts bringing up alarm bells to the point of paranoia.

While I do admit to a certain level of responsibility from the media to inform the general public, all it's doing is promoting fear and ruining lives in the process. For me, it makes me recall a talk that Ian Hanomansing (CBC Newsworld anchor) gave on the portrayal of awful events in the media. As it stands, in the western world, we actually have it pretty good. For the most part, we can walk down the street without fear of gang rape, death by suicide bomb, or attack by Africanized honey bees. But, the news media would tell you otherwise.

The old adage stands true as always: a dog bites a man, that's not news. Man bites dog...

When events like these occur, it's always a national tragedy that reaches the hearts of everyone. It also puts a lot of unnecessary fear into them, and then the people in authority start instituting excessive and ineffective measures, just so it looks like they're doing something important. Racial profiling isn't necessarily new, but somehow nerdy Asian guys are suddenly the object of scrutiny.

With the Virginia Tech shootings, it's in your face and in your homes all the time, unless you make a point of ignoring it altogether. But, when you have a kid that makes a CounterStrike map and modelling it after their school, this somehow indicates that they're a walking, ticking time bomb. There was somebody that did that, and because of somebody's over-reaction, he doesn't get to graduate with his high school class. Oh, yeah...and the kid was Asian, just like the Virginia Tech shooter.

During my teenage years, make-work assignments to fill class time would happen every so often. Sometimes they got creative, though. One involved the story exercise where you write one portion, and pass it to the next. Some of what we wrote depicted some very sick stuff. Somebody else started a story with me as the protagonist, where I was trying to kill the English teacher's cat. I ran with it, as expected.

Writing it back then? We all have a few laughs. Writing it today? I get removed from my school and I don't get to graduate with all my friends.

2007-04-23T06:53:00.000-07:00

The whole universe at her command.

Pfft. Is that a warning or a promise?

"The conveyor belt was moving too fast! What else was I supposed to do?"

"Hey, is this the right way to the men's room?"

"Oh, pleasedon'tdropmepleasedon'tdropmepleasedon'tdropme..."

I promised Denise that I would come back after hours. I sure hope I remembered to disable the security cameras.

After all that chocolate, it was important to check my teeth.

Chillin' outside. It was a really nice day out.

Last Sunday, I went on a geek date. I have found happiness. Maybe for the next date we should go to a comic book convention.

Denise put forth the suggestion to go to ChocoBites: The History of Chocolate, presented at the Telus World of Science. That's where we learned all sorts of interesting factoids and information about chocolate, its preparation, and its varieties. And of course, we got to sample some. Twice.

And I also learned that the large hilly area outside of Telus World of Science is made possible through the magic of Styrofoam, which is evidently a legacy of Expo '86.

2007-04-21T01:58:00.000-07:00

After reviewing my blogs, all of them, I have come to the realization that I've become incredibly negligent in my blog posts, outside of posting links to self-indulgent YouTube videos (next up: see how fast it takes me to solve TEN Rubik's Cubes!). Strangely enough, this coincides with me finding a new job. Hence, no posts in the entire month of March.

These past few months have reminded me of how incredibly fortunate I have been. After years upon years of struggling to find myself, I've managed, seemingly through no fault of my own (note the qualifying adverb "seemingly"), to find somewhat fulfilling employment (more on that later) and end up in a very fulfilling relationship with someone who actually "gets" me and supports me in the stuff I do and actually makes me feel good about myself.

About the job. It's been a matter of a fit, which I haven't exactly found even after 6 weeks on the job, for which I'm probably a lot more willing to let slide than I should (refer to blog post on 2007 New Year's Resolutions for more details), although my significant other (Hi, Denise!) agrees that my talents are best suited for a different type of environment. So, lo-and-behold, when I receive the "this-isn't-quite-working-out" speech, the following day, I receive a phone call from an HR manager from a company which employed me last Fall, recommending me for another position.

I interviewed today, and ka-ching, I get it. Sometimes stuff just falls into place.

Life is good. Not as good as some, but better than most. I'm not sure who I'm supposed to thank, though.

2007-04-15T20:18:00.000-07:00

In memoriam:
Victor P.K. Yim
July 5, 1937 - April 16, 2004

2007-04-05T02:20:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted. But I don't feel like writing right now. So how about I show you this...

2007-02-27T23:24:00.000-08:00

Given my lack of formal training (regardless, I'll give it my all and have no regrets), I was especially shooting for the "Most Entertaining" award. I woulda won too, if it weren't for that walking wardrobe-malfunction-just-waiting-to-happen. She won the top $300 prize, Dre in our group won runner up.

However, I did much better on my improv rendition of "If I Had $1,000,000" with my karaoke cohort Peter. The hostess asked if we knew each other. We played dumb.

2007-02-23T13:11:00.000-08:00

Today, I just had an epiphany: I am incredibly lucky. The fact that I just landed a job and recently met somebody who accepts me for who I am might have something to do with it. So, just to see exactly HOW lucky I am, I decided to go out and buy a lottery ticket.

If I win, first round of drinks is on me.

2007-02-13T00:50:00.000-08:00

It was going great. Up until the very last note. Oops.

2007-02-12T18:07:00.000-08:00

Satay Chicken Stir Fry
By Vince Yim, OP U-Grill Attendant

(submitted to The Other Press for the upcoming issue, to be released around Chinese New Year)

Stir-fry remains one of the simplest dishes to prepare in Chinese cuisine. Consisting of vegetables, meat, seasonings, and a bit of corn starch, one can use a lot of imagination and experiment frequently, providing different meals with a few substitutions. With enough planning and practice, one can easily go from countertop to stove to serving dish in a matter of minutes.

With traditional Chinese cooking, the tools are specialized, although typical North American household appliances make it difficult to accurately duplicate the exact technique of a Chinese restaurant, especially since electric stoves typically have flat electric elements (as opposed to open gas flame) and the range fan will not often be sufficient to handle the grease vapours (this results in a greasy film on your kitchen surfaces). That, and the high heat and metal cooking utensils can destroy the Teflon coating on modern cooking pans. Still, one can come close, with just enough patience.

My dad taught me the basic technique when I was younger and I’ve been experimenting with it ever since. This version in particular uses Satay sauce, available at most Asian food stores (such as T&T Supermarket). Satay is a spicy peanut sauce with shrimp and a touch of coconut. Admittedly, this owes a bit more to Malaysian or Singapore cuisine, but considering the large (if not predominant) Chinese populations of those countries and the alleged Chinese origins of Satay meat skewers, Satay-flavoured dishes do have a place in Chinese cuisine.

Ingredients:

1/3 lb chicken meat (I prefer dark thigh meat, although some may prefer white breast meat)
1 green pepper, small
1/2 can of baby corn
1 cup pineapple chunks
1 carrot
1 small onion
1 tsp cornstarch
2 tbsp Satay sauce
1/4 cup water
Season to taste: soy sauce, black pepper, garlic, salt, ginger

Preparation:

1: Dice chicken and mix with 1 tbsp of Satay sauce (the remaining amount will be used later) and whatever seasoning you wish to use.
2: Cut vegetables into small, bite-sized pieces. Cut onion into smaller pieces.
3: Heat wok over medium to medium/high heat. When wok is sufficiently heated (test by flicking drops of water on pan), add 1 tsp of cooking oil. Add onions (and diced garlic and ginger, if desired).
4: Add chicken. Stir meat in wok until sufficiently seared on all sides. Remove from pan and into separate bowl. This is done to prevent overcooking chicken, as vegetables typically take longer to cook.
5: Add vegetables and stir. Depending on how tender you like your vegetables, you may wish to pour about 1/4 cup of water, then cover the wok. The vegetables will be sufficiently cooked once steam rises from the lid.
6: Add cooked chicken to the mix.
7: While mixing the contents, prepare the sauce. Take the remaining tablespoon of satay, cornstarch, and 1/4 cup of water and mix in a separate bowl. Add to the mix.
8: Continue to stir ingredients thoroughly, until all ingredients are coated with sauce mixture and sauce turns clear.
9: Serve with rice.

Serves 1-3.

2007-02-05T08:15:00.001-08:00

47.43 seconds. I have way too much free time.

2007-01-28T10:37:00.000-08:00

Some days, I have a hard time fitting in.

Welcome to the fun house.

2007-01-16T22:11:00.000-08:00

The Most Important Meal of the Day

It's been stated by many nutritionists and other experts that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. This makes sense in a lot of respects...people generally stop eating at around 8PM (although it's 10:30PM when I write this and I'm snacking on chips and salsa), which means by the time we wake up, we will have gone without food for up to 12 hours.

Of course, when you consider that you're expending significantly less energy when sleeping, this might not be such a big deal, but constant food energy is important for maintaining a specific body weight. I don't dig on the idea of skipping breakfast, although I must admit that I'm generally not that hungry when I wake up. I usually keep it simple, although I do like waffles made from scratch (I make 'em with banana and chocolate chips, with whole wheat flour, a scoop full of protein powder, and oatmeal).

Cereal and milk is the quickest and easiest. I used to stick to one cereal and have nothing but that, although that may have been due to parents being responsible for grocery shopping. I never could eat that fast when I was a kid, which is why I now make a point of not eating Corn Flakes, because they get soggy in a matter of seconds.

About halfway through childhood, the transition was made to Rice Krispies and then Cheerios. As I grew older, we would mix it up a bit and would have different things, and even mix them together. Plain Cheerios mixed with Honey Nut Cheerios is good for toning down the sweetness that makes you bounce off the walls.

Since I started getting my own groceries, I just buy what's on sale. Cereal is cereal, although I will definitely avoid anything where sugar is the first or second ingredient (eg: Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, Lucky Charms).

On my last grocery trip I picked up a box of Kellogg's Vector and a thing of Frosted Mini-Wheats. Yes, cereal is great because it's quick, easy, and it's simple.

Or, so I thought. "Directions for use"? How much more complicated can it get other than "Add milk to cereal"? When I was a kid, on occasion, I would pour the milk in first (which is generally a bad idea because cereal floats), but come on!

Since when do we need instructions on how to eat cereal? Perhaps this is intended for countries where dairy consumption isn't a regular thing. Or, perhaps it's for people who are obsessive as to their exact caloric intake.

What I'm curious to know is who generally has the time in the morning to painstakingly measure exactly 300mL or 1 1/4 cups (which is actually inaccurate...1 1/4 cups really converts to 312.5mL in metric) of cereal, and then 200mL or 3/4 cup (which converts to 187.5 mL in metric) of milk?

I guess the same type of people who have the time to calculate how inaccurate the conversion from imperial to metric is when written on the box.

I got bored, so I compared my usual helping (left) with the one dictated by the instructions (I'm using imperial measurements, so it's exactly 1 1/4 cups). I guess this would mean I'm getting a little bit more of my RDI (recommended daily intake) of all the goodness that Vector provides. An eyeball estimate (no, I did not take the contents out of the bowl and measure them) would suggest I'm eating 40% more than the suggested serving.

I suppose this might be a good thing that they go into that much detail when it comes to how much you're supposed to be eating at any given time, especially given the controversy over serving sizes in fast food restaurants. You may argue that this isn't really the same thing, considering that cereal and milk is better for you. But then, you take a closer look at the ingredients list, and the third ingredient is sugar/glucose-fructose.

Y'know, screw the USDA. Screw the FDA. I'm gonna eat it the way I want.

2007-01-11T01:05:00.000-08:00

Half-way to achieving at least ONE goal for 2007.

To be continued!

2007-01-05T10:55:00.000-08:00

Now THIS is funny.

This opens up the whole thing about subjectivity and how if you tell someone enough times, you can actually convince them that someone looks like someone else, sorta like how you can start seeing shapes in clouds. Given that it's a computer that came up with this, it uses mathematical algorithms to determine similarity due to placement of facial features, shadow depth, closeness of skin tone (although with lighting, it's also subject to change), and the like.

That still doesn't make it accurate, though, as computers aren't always that good at recognizing colours (especially with lighting). That, and the database doesn't have a whole bunch of Asian actors in it. I'm not thinking that the software is especially sophisticated, at least when it comes to the malleable nature of faces, as it also is based on whatever photos that they have on file. Just on a whim, I submitted a few different ones with different smile types and found that I could be a potential match to Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Cho (AKA "MILF guy"), or Magic Johnson.

With more sophisticated technology, such a 3D laser scanning, then this could be much more accurate. But, it's something kinda neat that you can brag about and show to your friends.

2007-01-01T09:26:00.001-08:00

Goals and New Year's Resolutions

Every year, it's the same - a lofty resolutions that are typically forgotten in a matter of weeks, or even days, all of which serve to remind us of how stuck we are in our current patterns. Maybe it's best that we don't actually have "New Year's Resolutions" and instead focus on long-term and short-term goals that aren't tied to a new year, so that there won't be necessarily any disappointment or frustration if they can't be attained.

Anyway, this is just so I have some level of semi-permanent record and statement, so my nearest and dearest have something to bug me about if I happen to be slacking off in any way (subtle hint). One thing I also noticed is that in order to attain goals, specific plans to meet those goals must be used and then followed.

Things that are conceivably attainable within a few months:

Master specific Capoeira and other acrobatic movements (Wallflip, Folha Seca, Armada Dupla). Plan: practice, study on technique, and soliciting advice.
Find a new job in my field. Plan: network more often, do volunteer work with organizations, get name out there, keep my portfolio current, keep my writing, design, and editing skills sharp any way I can.
Clean apartment. I'll do that as soon as I finish writing this. Plan: do dishes first, finish laundry (including fold and store), tidy work/computer area.

Ongoing habits:

Become more comprehensive in Brazilian Portuguese. Plan: complete WikiBooks course, complete Teach Yourself Portuguese book, ask more questions of native Portuguese speakers, watch/read more Portuguese media.
Learn at least one Capoeira song in Portuguese a month. Plan: practice at home, learn more vocabulary and grammar in Portuguese so that I can memorize easier with better understanding
Take much less crap from people. Plan: pay more attention, be more cognizant of what people are saying and putting myself in more social situations to prepare myself for when similar situations arise.
Get in the habit of maintaining a certain level of cleanliness and organization. Plan: Put away everything once I'm done with it, develop an organizing system for everything from documents to trash.
Feel better about self. Plan: see #3.
Develop better time management skills. Plan: do things according to priority, dedicate specific blocks of time to specific tasks, do not interrupt task to do something else, reward self with "fun" tasks.
Get better at networking. Plan: Go to more events, keep up to date with older contacts, treat everyone with respect, and do exactly what I say I will do.

Lofty goals

Save up sufficient cash to go travelling, specifically to visit cousin in Australia. This may take a bit more time. Plan: Get better job, develop better spending and budgeting habits, remove unnecessary expenditures.
Earn Azul Escuro (dark blue) belt in Capoeira. Considering that I already bypassed Amarelo Claro (dark yellow) in the 2006 Batizado, I should count my blessings. Plan: learn more songs in Portuguese, ask about teaching introduction classes at the academy, develop better skills with Portuguese.

Generally useless on the grand-scheme-of-life but cool to do anyway for self-improvement purposes

Guitar music - learn more songs and techniques. Master two handed tapping to properly play classically inspired compositions on electric, such as attempting Pachabel's Canon in D. Although I don't expect to be going along the same level of FunTwo... Plan: spend about 30 minutes per day (time usually spent surfing the 'net or just goofing off) practicing and learning, preferably right before going to bed.
Puzzle solving - I really don't know how much smarter this makes me...much like IQ tests, they are only indicitive of how one is good at doing IQ tests. But, getting my Rubik's Cube solving time to an average of 40 seconds is easily conceivable. I'm already at about a minute. Plan: memorize two or three last layer algorithms per week while on transit (80 minute round trip).

Now, off to start my year off right...hey, there's something good on TV! Maybe a little later.

2006-12-31T17:41:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year and Best Wishes for 2007!

2006-12-28T23:17:00.000-08:00

Wall flip, attempt #1.

This is funny. Because it didn't happen to you.

Lessons of note:

Only attempt this when I am warmed up, but not fatigued (ie: near the beginning of my session).
Remember to put more mat on the floor, so I actually have more cushioning if I happen to over-rotate.
Remember to uncurl after the initial tuck faster so I don't rotate so much.

2006-12-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

Christmas evening was spent discussing the perils of consumerism with my cousin from halfway across the globe. The discussion got a little bit heated at times, but to avoid things getting ugly, I conceded that there isn't much we can do about it either way.

As much as we like to believe that true happiness comes from non-tangibles -- love of friends and family, achievement, health and security -- these things usually are coincidental with consumption and modern civilization, which is consumerist by nature. Shut off everything, and people start dying as food stops coming in, the heat stops working in the dead of winter, and the hospital life support machines stop working.

Maybe it's balance that we need to start advocating...

2006-12-24T11:05:00.000-08:00

Good Karma and Bad Karma / Myopic Foresight and Hindsight in 20-20

Good: To kill time between contracts and do something nice for Christmas, I made a point of volunteering for the Salvation Army by playing Christmas Carols on guitar while collecting donations.

Bad: Made my signature dish for a Christmas potluck dinner last night, being chilli. I left it alone for too long and it burned on the bottom of the pot, so I transferred it to a casserole dish. Being "pretty sure" that it was approved for stovetop use, I warmed it up on the guest host's stove. So, several hours slaving over a hot stove and simmering destroyed in a flash (it's probably not a good idea to eat stuff that may or may not have porcelain chips in it). I was very sad after that happened.

This is the second item that I have inadvertently destroyed this way...even if it worked once, it won't necessarily work all the time. Speaking of which, did you know that it is a really bad idea to use a glass coffee table as an ironing board?

Good: Finally cleaned my apartment and am making a concerted effort to make it more so.

Bad: Mind you, the majority of that consisted of shoving everything into one room, which is now a nightmare to navigate through.

Good: Again put my guitar skills to use at my Capoeira studio's Christmas party, also aided by my culinary skills, having cooked Sate Chicken stir fry (with pineapple and green pepper) on the spot (with a portable skillet and everything).

Bad: No photos. I stupidly left my camera at the academy and I'm really hoping it's still there when the academy opens up again on the 30th.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

2006-12-03T07:54:00.000-08:00

Riddle me this...

This is a bizarre world where there is no God, but there is goodness. People have no heart, but they have feelings. There are no relationships, only marriage. Marriage has no sex, but lots of kissing and hugging. We can see and smell, but we cannot hear, touch, or taste.

People do not go to work, unless they happen to be accountants, engineers, and tennis players. There are no doctors or hospitals, which is a good thing because you won't get sick (but you might fall ill).

For fun, no one watches hockey or cricket, although people still play basketball, soccer, football, and foosball.

You don't have a house but you do have a roof. You can have walls, but without paint. You can have floors without the carpet. You can even have grass, but no yard or a picket fence.

In the natural world, we have trees of green, but no red roses. We have bees but not birds, eels but not seals, llmas but not lambs. The sun never shines, although the moon comes out. It never rains, it never snows, although they get periods of sleet.

Beef is consumed regularly, although chicken and fish are not. Fruits and vegetables are not either...unless it happens to be green peppers, lettuce, or apples. People eat pizza with mushrooms, pepperoni, cheese (both mozzarella and cheddar, but no parmesan), and pineapples (but no anchovies, olives, or onions).

In the entertainment world, the Foo Fighters are popular, but no one has heard of Nirvana. Green Day, Hoobastank, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are cool, but nobody listens to Justin Timberlake or Nickleback.

For fun and games, we have lots of books, but they're not made of paper. We have queens and fools, but no kings and jokers. We have rooks, but no castles, chess but no checkers. We have riddles, but no jokes.

In the world of technology, we still have Google, Yahoo, askJeeves, and InfoSeek. But, no one ever uses AltaVista or HotBot. But then, it doesn't matter because we have no Internet or computers. But we do have LCD screens. Just no monitors.

We have no cars (unless they're Hummers, Ferarris, Jeeps, or Corollas), but they all have wheels, transmissions, and mufflers (but no brakes or tires). We have geeks, but no freaks. We have carrots, but no onions...apples, but no oranges...seeds, but no pits.

What else can this world have?

(hint: it's not so much what the words represent and mean...)

2006-11-29T11:41:00.000-08:00

Life in general has been knocking me down and kicking me while I'm trying to get up, but that's all there is to it - it's not how you fall, it's how you get up.

Recently finished my job last Friday and elected not to renew my contract due to another work obligation that would have started up on Sunday. It would've involved graveyard hours, but due to weather, they decided to postpone it "indefinitely." I found that out today. And I completely cleared out my schedule for this, and even made a point of climatizing my body for the graveyard hours (ie: not sleeping until 4AM, waking up at 10PM). So, does anyone have any use for someone who's pre-climatized for graveyard work?

So, in my downtime, I've tried to make an effort to clean my apartment, practice my Portuguese ("O qui nao mata engorda!"), and find more work. I've taken a few more steps, having finally emptied out the trash and cleaned up that massive pile of dishes that occupied the sink, then purchased a Portuguese-English dictionary (which, alas, has no swear words in it), and revised my website resume.

On the plus side, I've been getting work hosting Karaoke night at Scruffy McGuire's pub, which doesn't pay huge, but is a good side gig.

Will make more calls, will network, will get out of the apartment.

2006-11-06T23:29:00.000-08:00

I hate Monday.

I had what I thought was a cold since Friday night, but not feeling sick enough to stay home, I go in anyway. Realizing that there are other people who are sick in the office, I make a point of designing up a "biohazard" sign to tape to my chest as I do my job, and I also distribute them to the front desk. I get about 5 hours of work done before I am sent home. I'm also forced to cancel on a face-to-face with someone who I met on-line.

I really shoulda gotten that flu shot.

2006-11-04T10:27:00.000-08:00

For reasons unknown, I somehow managed to land a weekly gig hosting Karaoke night at the local watering hole. Doing training and getting familiarity with the equipment last night (Friday), I quickly got to know the ins and outs of karaoke, how difficult it is to get people to sing, and why it's a bad thing to be playing too much gangsta rap.

The first objective is to avoid the mistakes of previous hosts. Obviously, that means no monopolizing the mic time (outside of one song to warm up the crowd), no making creepy-creepy-gross-guy advances towards the female regulars of the pub (that's how my friends and I got rid of the first guy), and keeping songs with excessive swear words to a minimum (meaning that even though "Ode to My Car" by Adam Sandler happens to be in the song book, we're not supposed to use it).

So, with my one and only song to encourage the crowd to get up and sing, I did "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin, in the style of William Hung (Chinese-American accent and everything). I was actually admonished by one of the wait staff, who felt the need to indicate that we have many patrons of various ethnicities coming into the pub. I had to point out the fact that I'm Chinese. I have done the song about a dozen times in various karaoke bars and this is about the first time anyone's ever called me on it. But, point taken.

2006-10-30T00:04:00.000-08:00

2006-10-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

Memories of My Father
Or, Why Rush Limbaugh is an Ignorant, Fat Douchebag
By Vince Yim

(submitted for publication in The Other Press)

My childhood was marked by the news that my father was involved in an incident of workplace violence. When your world is Saturday morning cartoons, hockey cards, and homework, learning that a mental patient put a knife in your dad’s back can really put a wrench into things. Suddenly, the man that picked you up from school and took you fishing during the summer was stuck in a hospital bed. When he got over it, yet another wrench was thrown in the gears.

Parkinson’s disease is a degenerative neural disorder that affects movement, speech, and posture. Tremors and shaking are the initial symptoms, which only get worse over time. Difficulty walking, clumsy movement, dementia, and impaired swallowing are common. After about ten years, watching my dad almost choke on family dinners became a daily occurrence. There is no cure, only treatment to attempt to control the symptoms or slow the progression. There is no specific cause either, although it is suggested that it may be genetic or caused by head injury. It’s been speculated that my father’s spinal injury may have had something to do with it.

For most people, Parkinson’s isn’t actually fatal, although patients typically expire due to complications of the disease. For my father, he developed osteoporosis (due to lack of physical activity brought on by impaired mobility, in turn due to Parksinson’s), fell, broke his spine and was hospitalized, where he was infected by MSRA (antibiotic resistant bacteria) and died in hospital. This was in 2004. He lived with the condition for almost 17 years.

Michael J. Fox is one of the more well known sufferers of Parkinson’s disease and is a well known advocate for stem cell research. Having being diagnosed while barely in his thirties, he’s one of the younger people to be diagnosed (many sufferers develop Parkinson’s in their 50s and 60s), and as a result, has been active politically, appearing in front of US congress and most recently appearing in a television ad, endorsing Democratic Missouri senate candidate Claire McCaskill, a known proponent of embryonic stem cell research.

The ad (currently available on YouTube.com) depicts Fox speaking his views, while his stereotyped and involuntary body movements depict someone unable to sit still, typical of Parkinson’s sufferers. The ad is fairly disturbing to watch for most people who are unfamiliar with the disease, which is a very strong endorsement. For most people, save for right wing political pundit Rush Limbaugh.

In his radio show, Limbaugh lambasted the whole ad, even going all the way to accuse Fox of either intentionally going off his medication or acting. Admittedly, Limbaugh’s accusations has some merit, as Fox’s memoirs do indicate that he intentionally went off medication when appearing before senate in 1998. And certainly, in comparisons to many of his other appearances on television, such as a recent appearance on Boston Public, his symptoms are much more pronounced. That is where it ends, however.

Anyone with familiarity of Parkinson’s will recognize the movements immediately. High levels of medication are required to keep movements in check, although the medication will lose effectiveness over the years, and in some cases, may actually promote involuntary movement. Additionally, given the edited nature of episodic television, it’s not hard to get footage of Fox during his more calm moments. As it stands, accusing statements as such not only smack of general ignorance, but highly insensitive as well, regardless of Limbaugh’s pre-emptive apology, if he is indeed wrong.

Would Limbaugh be making statements like that if he were living with Parkinson’s or knew someone close to him with Parksinson’s? After making those statements, what are the odds that he’s ever had to watch a loved one crawl on his or her hands and knees to get to the bathroom? Or even try to stop the rude stares from strangers in public, reacting to the bizarre, involuntary movements? Or had to hope and pray that he wouldn’t choke on breakfast or fall down a flight of stairs?

Limbaugh goes onto suggest Fox is a political pawn for doing this. As a first-hand witness to Parkinson’s, my impression is that Fox is merely acting in his own interests, namely a cure. Suggesting otherwise is general douche-baggery.

Indeed, everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether we want to hear it or not. However, half-cocked statements really should be better thought out before being made public. True, attempts to know every single fact before expressing opinions would make it so opinions would never be made. However, Limbaugh’s comments were made while ignoring key details, such as the actual movements of Parkinson’s, the long-term effects of medication, or even the details of television production. His attempts at qualifying his statements by admitting Parkinson’s devastating effects come across as empty and hollow.

2006-10-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

3 minutes, 19.68 seconds. I really, really need a girlfriend.

Music: "Namistai" by BT, from Movement in Still Life (UK edition)

2006-09-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

They can put a man on the moon, they can regrow tooth enamel, and the 500 channel universe dictates that there is ALWAYS something on. Yet they still can't cure the common cold, nor can they make it go by any faster.

Thursday started with me waking up with a sore throat, which has since been followed by chugging back cup after cup after cup of hot tea. Certainly, I've never been more alert at work. Given that I haven't gotten around to getting a tea kettle for my apartment, that means I'm the most "healthy" at work.

Generally speaking, I tend to feel better when I'm showering, eating, exercising, or eating. Sadly, I can't do all of these things while I'm at work. Out of desperation, Saturday had me heading to the local nutrition store for echinachea drops and oil of oregano, which according to the bottle, is supposed to help with upper respiratory infections. Echinachea drops are 40% pure alcohol per volume while oil of oregano tastes mildly Italian, followed by a severe burning sensation that makes your eyes water. The treatment is almost worse than the disease.

2006-09-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

A random female stranger grabbed my buttocks on the Skytrain last night. I wouldn't have minded so much if she happened to be hot (or at least cute), so as a result, I was slightly annoyed. She apologized profusely, saying that she mistook me for someone else, but it did shock the hell out of me. Is this normal, to go around grabbing the buttocks of members of the opposite sex if you happen to know them? Because last I checked, any attempts on my part to do so will result in a swift kick to the groin.

2006-09-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

So, having spent the past few weeks going nuts between helping my buddy with his wedding, getting ready for my Capoiera belt ceremony, trying (unsuccesfully) to clean my apartment, and trying to find work, I managed to land a two-and-a-half month contract with a printing company as a checker/proofreader. Emphasis on checker, at least now, just because I'm new and they don't want me causing too much damage at once.

Admittedly, a bit of a paycut from A&B Sound, but at least I know when my term is finished and it's paying the bills. That means as a result, I'm not exactly rolling in the hookers and blow. Come to think of it, it's not even strippers and booze. If I'm lucky, it's internet-downloaded porn and sniffing glue.

2006-09-05T09:26:00.000-07:00

Opening roda at Capoeira Aché Brasil. Seated l-r: Mestre Derli (Brazil), Mestre Elias (San Diego), and Mestranda Edna Lima (New York). Standing: Mestre Eclilson De Jesus (Vancouver)

Barboleta, Camara, and Pantera doing Maculele

Cordao Amarelo Escuro ("Dark Yellow") L-R: Dandara, Jazz, Toquinha (yours truly), and Casado

Professore Superhomem ("Superman")

The masters of Capoeira

After weeks of hemming and hawing about oh, I'm not going to get my belt, that test was way too easy, Mestre already knew what my belt level was going in, blah blah blah, I am the proud owner of a shiny new amarelo escuro ("Dark Yellow") belt, having managed to skip amarelo claro ("Light Yellow"). Now, to train extra-EXTRA hard to qualify at least for azul claro ("light blue").

2006-09-03T08:46:00.000-07:00

Once again proving my theory that is physically impossible to look bad while wearing one of these.

Post ceremony photographs at Coal Harbour

"We have arrived at your destination sir and ma'am."

Reception toast

Gabe and Jialin play Lady and the Tramp.

After running around for 18 hours straight, I'm pretty frickin' tired. Congratulations to the bride and groom, and may you have a lifetime of wedded bliss. May your love always grow, propser, and flourish.

2006-08-26T03:58:00.000-07:00

Hangin' with my big sistah. Why am I more tanned than her? (Self portrait, with flash)

BT (AKA Brian Transeau) works the crowd at Richards on Richards

Experiments in no-flash photography mean a lot of really blurry pictures that will have to be discarded. Occasionally, I'll get lucky and people are shooting flash at the exact same moment, which means a lot less red eye and preserved colours that you won't get if you just shot with flash.

More experiments in no-flash photography, which makes for some very abstract and cool looking shots. But be prepared to toss a lot of them along the way.

Hangin' wit' my man BT.

After downloading a few random BT tracks such as "Never Gonna Come Back Down" and "Dreaming", I made a point of actually buying Movement in Still Life, after which I promptly became a fan.

Since I missed BT's last stop in Vancouver, I had to take the effort to catch him this time around. My excuse last year was that I couldn't get anyone to go with, but this time I managed to drag my sister along. This time BT's promoting the upcoming release of This Binary Universe, which hits stands this week. Great show, although it'll be great when my hearing finally returns back to normal.

And thus, adding to my collection of autographed CDs, having since met Joe Satriani, The Crystal Method, DJ Rap, and Kinnie Starr. Although there was that time someone asked me to get an autograph from Linda McRae, formerly of Spirit of the West. She made it out to me, thinking that it was mine. Oops.

2006-08-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

Wow, that certainly didn't take too long.

After a whopping six weeks on the job, my department was downsized by 50%, which leaves me typing this blog at 9:40 in the morning when I'm supposed to be updating the company's web fliers and assisting layout for the print flyer program. I can take some comfort in the fact that it's nothing personal and very little to do with work performance (given the fact that a person with considerably more experience and expertise was laid off at exact the same time), but that leaves me with the obvious dillemma as to how I'm going to eat and pay rent.

Today, I'm hitting the beach and taking my guitar with me, then I'm gonna go watch Snakes on a Plane. Tomorrow, I'm planning my next chess move.

2006-08-12T16:44:00.000-07:00

I really don't know if this is a good thing or not.

Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male

Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

2006-08-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

The problem with eating Chinese is that an hour later, you're hungry again. I think that's why mosquitoes like me so much.

In addition to driving people around who don't know their way home, Saturday was also spent being sucked dry by the winged vampires that inhabit my barbecue host's residence. My legs are covered with more welts than I can count. However, after limited success in tracking down a thing of benedryl and not seeing any positive benefits out of popping an antihistimine, since my employers could not permit me to run to a drug store, I Googled it and found that Scotch tape actually works to stop the itching. Could it be? An inexpensive office product that is in most households can alleviate the symptoms of mosquito bites?

After tracking down a roll, I quickly drop strips of tape on each bite mark, and low and behold, I'm not itchy anymore.

I still remember the hiking trip taken with friends, where you can actually feel the insects removing chunks of flesh. One bit me and it swelled to the size of a golf ball. For the rest of the week, my arm was so puffy that I could wrap my hand around it and leave an impression.

2006-08-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

EXT. FOREST

LOCKE
Come here. I'm going to show you something. [They walk to a plant with a cocoon on it]. What do you supposed is in that cocoon, Charlie?

CHARLIE
I don't know, a butterfly, I guess?

LOCKE
No, it's much more beautiful than that. That's a moth cocoon. It's ironic, butterflies get all the attention; but moths -- they spin silk, they're stronger, they're faster.

CHARLIE
That's wonderful, but...

LOCKE
You see this little hole? This moth's just about to emerge. It's in there right now, struggling. It's digging it's way through the thick hide of the cocoon. Now, I could help it, take my knife, gently widen the opening, and the moth would be free. But it would be too weak to survive. The struggle is nature's way of strengthening it. Now this is the second time you've asked me for your drugs back [he holds the heroin up]. Ask me again and it's yours.

(from Lost season 1, episode 7, "The Moth")

Having spent the better part of an hour driving around while trying to locating the apartment of a young woman, with the intent of dropping her off at home after a party, I got to thinking on the drive home as to what parents today are doing to their children.

While I'll admit to a significant portion of blame, it's frustrating when I'm in an area with which I'm unfamiliar, when someone I'm driving around is unable to give directions to her apartment because she is even less familiar with the area, and even worse, does not know how to read a map, and is thus unable to navigate.

After dropping her off, my drive home was fairly uneventful, but between tracks on my MP3 player, I'm realizing that the lack of necessary life skills at a certain age bracket is the likely end result of overprotective upbringing. I'll admit to having a very sheltered life at a younger age, of which I'm trying to compensate for it now (although some would say overcompensate). As much as I love my mom to death, there are a lot of things that I wish that I could have figured out on my own at a much earlier age.

Not being a parent myself, I cannot speak from experience. I do not envy the responsibilities that come with the task, because they're really daunting and parents will constantly be judged for the end results. I understand the rationale behind sheltered parenting - parents want their children to have the opportunities they didn't have when they were kids, so they do everything for them. However, when the time comes for the children to act on their own, they will be so weakened from the experience that they won't be able to fend for themselves. While parents may think they're doing their kids a favour, by doing so, they lack the confidence building and independence that comes with figuring things on their own.

There is the extreme opposite though...children with minimal guidance are subjected to negative influences and grow up to be scarred and damaged from the experience. While may do have the maturity (and possible self-sufficiency) of the coddled child, without moral guidance, these are the kind of kids that grow up into a troubled life. Usually one that involves drugs.

When growing up, there were a lot of things I was unable to do before my formative years. My parents essentially forbade me from doing a lot of things, which largely kept me on the straight and narrow, but really kept me from experiencing a lot of things that kids are supposed to experience on their own. So, as a result, I'm making my mistakes NOW.

A sheltered upbringing has left me without specific life skills that are probably holding me back. For example, I lack the ability to read people, I get in trouble from impulsive decisions, and because I was fairly sedentary when I was a lad (parents didn't want me getting hurt too much), I lack a certain sense of body awareness, which means I'm really prone to getting injured from pushing myself too hard. Additionally mistakes, have a lot more consequences when I'm older, mostly because I'm expected to know better, but also because children can get away with a lot more than adults can.

For example, just the other week, I saw a guy on the Skytrain who had tons of grass stuck in his hair. In usual helpful-Vince fashion, I gently point this out, because, hey, if I had crap stuck to me and I couldn't see it, I'd want someone to tell me. At this point he starts getting hostile and starts swearing at me, and I'm not sure if he's going to try to kick my ass next. Not often getting into situations like this, my first reaction is often to freeze. Had he been a lot crazier, I probably could have been seriously hurt, or panicked and used excessive force to defend myself (I'm banking on the former rather than the latter, though). It's only afterwards that I realize that he recently got into a fight (and I'm not going to even speculate on who started it), resulting in his messed up appearance. Had I been a lot more aware of these things when growing up, I probably would've avoided the situation altogether.

Bringing me back to my drive. After driving around for 15 minutes in the wrong direction and trying to assure my passenger that I'm not angry at her, merely frustrated that someone at her age is unable to provide sufficient directions, I tell her straight up, this is a skill that she will have to learn at some point. Preferably really, really soon. She's been in the country for three years, does not know how to read a map, and cannot provide directions to her apartment, even after we pass by a landmark that she recognizes about three times.

(To my one-time passenger: if you do end up reading this blog, I'm not trying to be mean. I can't really blame you for this stuff because you simply never had to do it before so it's not like you'd know any better. However, when I see you, I realize that there are a lot of things that you have to figure out on your own...this is one of them...and it's not even the most important one! Good luck.)

2006-07-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

As about 95% of my personal effects have finally been moved into my new digs, there is about 5% of square footage that is easily navigatable by foot. This is a sad reality of our consumerist lifestyles -- we accumulate way too much crap. Everything from old papers to old magazines to stuff that I really should ditch via Craiglist (stack of old magazines and a DVD tower, anyone?), I really have to sort through it all before I can make any decisions.

My to do list is as follows:

-Complete touch-ups and additional coats of paint (will be difficult with furniture and crap)
-Get everything squared away (which can only occur once all final renovations are complete)
-Get items Craiglisted out (among them: old vacuum cleaner, massive stack of magazines, DVD stand).
-Throw housewarming party (which is in turn an additional incentive to get my ass in gear and get the first two tasks complete).

Oh, and my Internet connection hasn't been established yet, as I've been too damn busy to obtain a cable modem. Fun times, fun times. But at least I can now concentrate on getting my stuff squared away.

2006-07-09T17:26:00.000-07:00

This has been a fairly eventful few weeks, so I guess my few and faithful readers will have to excuse the lack of entries. The usual routine - wake up, do stuff, eat something, do more stuff, eat something else, hop on bus to Vancouver for my regular Capoeira class, go home, eat something, sleep - has been shaken up a touch.

Since my last post, I've gone through a bunch of different jobs, mostly through a temp agency (which shall remain nameless, due to the size of the local work pool). I initially singed up for the organization as a graphic designer/writer, responding to an ad on Craigslist. But, in an effort to keep me busy, the agency gets me work doing a variety of things while waiting for the design work to materialize.

Hence, my first job is data entry/research/telemarketing for a software company, followed by folding clothes for a major department store, distributing translator radio receivers for the Chinese head tax apology forum held in Vancouver, and stuffing plastic yo-yos into plastic bags for an event sponsored by a major oil company. Somewhere in the middle, I am informed that the expected design job has failed to materialize. I don't know if it's fair to assume this, but does it seem odd for a person with a university degree to be stuffing yo-yos in plastic bags?

I am much happier in my current situation, having recently taken a position for an electronics and media retailer as a graphic designer, which will also be unnamed, due to a series of non-disclosure agreements I have been made to sign. When compared to freelance rates, my salary is low, but considering the number of paying freelance assignments I've been doing, I'm in really good shape right about now.

But, that also involved ditching my previous employer, which I had no problem doing. What I did take exception to was the fact that "I'm not supposed to be looking for work" while I'm with the agency. I do understand the rationale, considering how much time and effort is taken in finding workers for the clients and for finding jobs for the workers. However, when I'm only working an average 12-hour work week at around $10/hr, that isn't even enough to feed me. That, and stuffing plastic yoyos in to plastic bags is about as far away from graphic design as one can get.

I recently celebrated my 29th birthday, and for once, it was actually ON my birthday. Given the fact that many of my friends have moved to other cities, it's slightly challenging to get anyone together for any reason at all. Plus, as we get older, responsibilities and other lives start taking over.

The day at work was fairly uneventful. Having recently started my job, I barely have any contact with people outside of my department, except for someone I used to work with a loooooong time ago, I didn't even bother telling anyone that it was birthday. Outside of work is a different story.

As mentioned in previous blogs, at my Capoeira studio, we have a tradition called the birthday roda, where each student has to play against everyone else, with the added challenge, as they have the mandate to attempt to take you down. Given the fact that I've been studying Capoeira for over three years (I am going to test for my next belt in September), the other students have an understanding of my abilities and are going to be a lot less likely to hold back (and I don't even consider myself that good, especially compared to some of the other students). As a consequence, I hit the ground several times, I have been kicked in the head and took a hard kick to the ribs. It now hurts to laugh, cough and sneeze, even three days after the initial injury.

It's no wonder why fellow birthday girl Elaine ("Canela") opted out of birthday rodas two years in a row. But, because of that, I made a point of informing EVERYONE at the studio of the fact that her birthday was the same as mine, and that she missed the last two birthday rodas. I admire her spirit - despite her unwillingness, she actually played a lot longer than I did, considering the much larger class. However, I haven't seen her at class since. Hmm...

Karaoke night followed, in which I had my other crew, apart from my regular Print Futures/Karaoke peeps show up. Apart from pressuring my friends into singing (why should I have all the fun making an ass out of myself in front of a bunch of total strangers?), I was up on stage a few times, most notably taking a crack at Five For Fighting's "It's Not Easy" (you can sort of make out some of the lyrics in the photo) and Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places."

And then there was dancing at Chicago's afterwards. I don't remember much from that...

I should be moved into my new digs by next week. I've been doing lots of painting in the meantime. I used to have a job as a house painter (mostly exteriors), and I gotta say, it's not so much the paint that I mind doing as the preparation work. Paint will peel off of improprerly prepared surfaces like sunburnt flesh. Disgusting analogy, yes, but I realized this as I was applying TSP (trisodium phosphate, a cleaning agent) to the door frames, on which the previous occupants used water-based latex paint over oil-based paint.

This compounded with all the other number of DIY housing mess-ups reveals a bunch of stuff that we didn't see when we first bought the place and the furniture was still in place. So far, all the flooring has been torn out and is being replaced, which is a very slow process. They should be fixing up the walls for painting soon...I've only done the fixture painting so far (ie: behind stove, toilet, and refrigerator).

Before/after pics of the digs to come.

2006-06-18T22:06:00.000-07:00

SO LONG, STINKTOWN!

After years of living in the small city of Surrey, I've finally moved to New Westminster, which isn't a huge step up, but it's a step up nonetheless. Sort of a necessity (partly because Mom sold her place, but mostly because I'm sick of crossing the Port Mann bridge during rush hour), but also a benefit, as it will cut anywhere from 30-40 minutes off of a public transit ride to Vancouver, especially when you consider that if you miss the bus at Surrey Central Skytrain station, you will be waiting anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour for the next bus.

Surrey isn't actually as bad as everyone is saying, although a few of the stereotypes hold true. There are a significant number of trailer parks, Surrey Central Skytrain station is NOT a fun place to hang out at night (unless you're looking to pick fights with random strangers or score some crystal meth), and if you leave your car for long enough, it WILL be broken into. That, and apart from hanging out at the mall and waiting for the Cloverdale Rodeo, there isn't much to do out in Surrey. But on the other hand, I only met one girl who fit the "Surrey Girl" stereotype (okay, three). That, and if you keep your wits about you, you'll probably be able to make it through Surrey without witnessing a fist fight, a stabbing, and an arrest, all in the same night.

Regardless, I'm glad to be out, although I will miss the relatively clean stink-free air (unless you drive through Cloverdale) and the nearby parks, of which there are many. Additionally, I will admit that New Westminster isn't that much greater either.

I you leave with my ode to Surrey.

"Surrey Trailer Trash Girls"
Copyright and Trademark Vince, 2006.
(sung to the tune of "California Girls" by The Beach Boys)

The girls from Kits beach are so pretty
With hard bodies tanned and toned
And Richmond girls from China, you know there are no finer,
You know you'll never be alone

Educated ladies from UBC
With their intellectual fare
And the Burnaby girls with the way they talk
They all have lots of charm to spare...

I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
I wish they all could be trailer trash Surrey Girls

What I want is a girl who's had two kids
Before the age of sweet sixteen
A kinda girl who knows that she just can't say no
To a hit of meth and smoke some green

I've been all around the lower mainland and I've seen all kinda girls
But it would feel good to just get back to my hood
Back to the most skanky girls in the world...

I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
I wish they all could be trailer trash Surrey Girls

(instrumental bridge)

I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
(girls, girls, yeah I dig the...)
I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
(girls, girls, yeah I dig the...)
I wish they all could be girls from Surrey
(girls, girls, yeah I dig the...)

(fade out)

2006-05-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

Postcards from Puerto Vallarta: Your Mileage May Vary

Four-and-a-half-hour flight and she still couldn't solve it.

Where the f*** is my luggage?!

Acrobatics on the beach

Nightclubbing at Christie.

Punchbuggy white!

GET TO DA CHOPPA!

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.

Touchdown in Vancouver. It was raining. No surprise.

After 8 days and 7 nights in Puerto Vallarta, I have the most awesome tan and a liver with the consistency of paté, and I'm pretty frickin' broke right now. Pretty much my first vacation in several years, it gave the opportunity to just cut loose and enjoy myself. As much as I miss the especially warm weather and all the friends I made while I was there, it's really good to be back home.

Among the trip highlights:

-Going to Puerto Vallarta and having my luggage go off to Manzanillo, forcing me to wear the same clothes for three days straight (I have the most understanding travel companion in the world...either that, or she has a really deficient sense of smell)
-The clubs and the perpetual drunken haze
-Walks on the beach
-The Canopy Tour, in which we visited the jungle set of the Schwarzenegger film Predator.

Some of the stuff I coulda done without:

-Having my luggage delayed for two nights
-That horrible hangover on the first night we were there
-Completely arbitrary pricing of souvenirs from the downtown market merchants, which seems to be based on the tourist's understanding of Spanish
-That nasty insect bite I received on my back (which STILL hasn't cleared)

2006-05-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

Postcards from Peurto Vallarta, Luggage in Manzanillo

As I write this, I am stationed at the business centre at the Holiday Inn in Peurto Vallarta, Mexico, with a really dodgy internet connection. Attempts to upload files and graphics have yielded error messages and this is costing me 35 pesos for half an hour of service, which will be up in about ten minutes.

As the title implies, I have gone two days without changes of underwear as my luggage went to Manzanila while I touched down in Peurto Vallarta. Given the number of extra trips my baggage took, it was inevitable that stuff decided to sprout legs and walk away. As a conesquence, my underwear and sock supply has been reduced by 50%, which included a pack of boxer briefs that were purchased specifically for this trip (that, and they were getting a little worn out anyway). Who the hell steals underwear (unfortunately, the question mark key doesn't seem to work on this keyboard).

Stinky clothes notwithstanding, I have been enjoying myself, but photos and pictures of the trip are pending my arrival in Vancouver this Sunday. Given the dodginess of the connection (and the fact that the keyboard is configured for Spanish use), I'm unable to upload photos.

Weather is beautiful, wish you were here.
Vince

2006-05-02T21:16:00.000-07:00

"With the new tri-bladed razor system, you take one stroke, it takes three!"

Through the magic of Hollywood, I am able to become a person who is 200 pounds and 6' tall. No, I didn't put on a fat suit and I wasn't put on the Hollywood training program. I was what's referred to as a photo double. This is done when an actor with a speaking role has no lines or closeups, but their character's presence is somehow required. To save costs, a photo double is used to stand in for the actor, as they are typically paid significantly less than an actor.

Being that the character in question ("Jose") was blown to smithereens in the previous scene (and hence, would not have anymore speaking lines), I was called in to stand in for him. Upon closer inspection of the actor' s photo, the resemblance is difficult to see. For starters, the actor in question is Hispanic, while I am Asian. Plus, I have significantly more facial hair (which was promptly trimmed to match...sort of). And on top of that, the guy outweighs me by about fifty pounds.

This was all done for the locally shot action flick, Rogue, starring Jet Li and Jason Statham. Given the fact that my face is not shown in close up, no one will probably notice anyway. As it is, my head is halfway sticking into a hole in the wall. But, I can think of worse ways to make $20/hour.

I still remember the last time I played a bloodied corpse. I was helping out an indie filmmaker with his short film, Waterfalls, in which I was playing Dead Asian Gangster #5 (listed in the credits as "Betrayed #5"). Not having time to shower, I just went on public transit as is. I had the whole row of seats all to myself. I probably shoulda gone into the nearest drug store and asked for a single bandage.

2006-04-26T12:07:00.000-07:00

I call it the Rubik's Cube for masochists.

Between job applications, one-off gigs, and freelance writing/design assignments, I have a stupid amount of free time, which allows me to pursue other interests.

I had a Rubik's Cube when I was a wee lad, but with my attention span being the way it was, my idea of solving it involved re-arranging the stickers. By extention, given the shortness of my attention span at the time, only on rare occasions would I be able to arrange the stickers in the proper colour configuration.

While the Rubik's Cube was long-lost to moving and transitions from childhood to adolescence (either that, or I just left it somewhere and forgot where I put it), I eventually discovered something called a Square-1, a variation on the Rubik's Cube. While it is constructed in three layers (similar to the Rubik's Cube), the vertical layer is offset at an angle. As a result, the configuration will not always be in a cube shape. With my attention span still shredded (and then attending film school, which left me no spare time whatsoever), my idea of solving it didn't involve rearranging the stickers (it would be pointless, given the variable shape of the puzzle), but entering the data into a computer program, after which it would give instructions on how to solve it.

A few years later, I rekindled my interest in cube puzzles and then purchased a whole whack of them from Mefferts.com and Rubiks.com. Many of them sat on the shelf and collected dust until the past few weeks, where I downloaded all of the necessary guides from the internet and actually learned how to solve them.

The Pyraminx (manufactured by Mefferts) is one of the first 3D puzzles made. As it only has four sides (hence, "Pyraminx"), This can be solved in about 12 or so moves. I remember bringing it to an interpersonal communications class on the last day of classes, as our assignment was to do an oral presentation on interpersonal communications and to bring along a metaphor. I solved the Pyraminx in under 10 seconds, while I held up a Rubik's Cube, unable to solve it. My rationale for the metaphor was that solving a puzzle such as the Pyramix will often leave one side happy ("solved") while the other side dissatisfied ("unsolved"). But, with proper technique and practice, one can maintain balance between sides and have a positive outcome.

In the class held the hour before, one of my classmates mixed up the Rubik's Cube, thinking I knew how to solve it. I didn't at the time. Another classmate mused, "You mixed up his metaphor!"

The Rubik's Cube is the one everyone knows and loves (or hates). The solving record is under 15 seconds. It took me about a week to memorize all of the steps one needs to solve it (start with top edges, then corners, then middle edges, then bottom corners, then edges) and it takes me around 2 minutes to solve it.

The Megaminx is particularly challenging, considering that it has 12 sides. As the version I got had stickers that were already falling off, I elected to custom paint it instead, which eliminates the ability to re-arrange the stickers. Unfortunately, given the panels, if the faces aren't perfectly aligned when turning, pieces tend to pop off. I can't solve the puzzle without it falling apart in my hands, so it stays on the shelf.

The Professor's Cube (pictured) is considered a harder variant, although it's not so much as more difficult as it simply takes more time to solve. Since it has 5 layers (as opposed to Rubik's 3 layers), it requires many more steps. However, once one figures it out, you do not actually need to memorize specific steps to arrange the pieces (at least in the earlier steps). The current official record is under 2 minutes. It takes me about half an hour. Because the version I have utilizes permanently glued-on plastic tiles, one does not have the option of re-arranging the stickers. What makes this puzzle harder is the mechanics. Two versions are manufactured, one by Mefferts/East Sheen and the other by Rubik's. The Rubik's version is notoriously fragile (they actually sell replacement parts on their website), while the Mefferts/East Sheen version uses a superior mechanism, which is more durable, but tends to jam up.

Apparently, Rubik's is in the process of designing and manufacturing a 6-layered cube. Given the fact that it would be 6 layers by 6 layers by 6 layers, I suppose that would quite figuratively make it the Rubik's Cube from hell.

I seriously need a girlfriend.

2006-04-21T23:36:00.000-07:00

Under most normal circumstances, I would probably welcome a shorter working day, but considering that I don't have anything better to do otherwise (and I really need the time to get my stuff done), I'd prefer to have the time.

And then some dullard decided to phone in a bomb threat.

While doing a one-off gig for UBC Applied Research and Evaluation Services, I was working away at my latest ***** **** ******** (censored by order of Non-Disclosure Agreement) when I was called into the meeting area for an emergency meeting.

"We're all getting a raise, right?" I quip.

Not exactly.

As we gather around, we quickly learn that somebody phoned in a bomb threat. Given the very convenient timing of this event, this is something that UBC deals with on a regular basis, especially during final exams (they did the same thing in the movie Road Trip). The RCMP is confident that this is merely a hoax, but no one really can afford to take a chance on this one, especially if it turns out to be real.

I remember the last bomb threat on campus. This was about the spring of 2001, when I was an extra on the set of Stark Raving Mad. As parts of the film were shot at the Chan Center Building for the Performing Arts at UBC, when they called in the bomb threat, everyone had to evacuate the building. That was a good thing because they actually paid us for the time we spent waiting for them to clear the building.

But anywho, the RCMP supposedly searched the buildings and found nothing, and then downgraded the threat, but we still vacated the offices at 3:30. That cost me an hour worth of productivity. I'm wondering if someone's done a study on how much money is lost to hoax bomb threats annually just because one student felt that he or she needed more time to study for a final exam.

2006-04-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

In memoriam:
Victor Pui-Kay Yim,
July 5th 1937-April 16th 2004

2006-04-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

For the past week and a bit, my laser printer has told me that it's running out of colour toner, namely yellow, cyan, and magenta. The main reason why I decided to get a colour laser printer was due to the fact that inkjet printers tend to burn through cartridges much faster, and are by extention more expensive to maintain.

This is referred to as the "razor and blades" business model, in which a relatively inexpensive peripheral requires the purchase of consumable products. In this case, the printer cost is negligable until you factor in the consumable ink. As well, clauses within the warranty indicate that using ink and toner "not recommended by the manufacturer" will void the warranty.

Which brings us back to the story. According to the diagnostic tools bundled with the printer, I am down to less than 1% toner in the colour cartridges, which means that i only have 8 pages left, based on a 12.5% page coverage. After a few quick phone calls and searching the 'net, I determine that replacement cartridges will cost around the nighbourhood of $99.99 USD + conversion if ordered directly from HP, while they don't seem to be available from outlets such as London Drugs.

So, I call up the local toner refiller shop and they'd be willing to refill preexisting cartridges for $99/throw. Noting that I still have "8 pages left," I decide to burn off as much toner as possible by printing up numerous copies of my Major Studio Production cover. About 30 or 40 pages later, I still have "8 pages left."

I really don't know who I'm supposed to believe at this point. Given the number of shenanigans that computer printer companies have been known to play with consumers, this doesn't really surprise me at all. My printer is equipped with 2000-sheet capacity colour cartridges, of which, it has only printed about 700-some odd pages. Even after 30-40 pages on the "8 pages left" status, there is no deterioration in image quality.

Methinks I still have several months to go before it actually starts running out of toner. Considering that I haven't been doing tons of colour printing and it's been running for less than a year, there's really no reason for this at all.

And then I discovered a company that sells compatible catridges (4000-sheet capacity) at $89/throw, shipping included. And they're local too. I'm going with them when my printer toner goes for real.

2006-04-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

With school officially over and done with, having handed in my final assignment on Friday, I am summarily tossed out into the cold and scary world of job seeking and student loan repayment. But at least I still have access to the Print Futures work room.

Speaking of which, hey, all three colour cartridges of toner are on their way to emptiness on my printer.

All things considered, though, life is good, although I'm too busy fighting the crack-addicted den mother of all colds to notice. I've been coughing up all sorts of crap slimy and salty, like I haven't been able to get over a cold that I caught in February. So, either it's the same cold, or I've caught three different cold viruses and wasn't immune to any of them.

So, I'm quasi-employed at this moment -- freelance writing assignments still need to be handed in (more than likely for Monday, I'm-a-thinking), although I know I have more coming up (one local filmmaker wants me to cover his next film in August). I still have to go through Craigslist and Jeff Gaulin to see what's out there (I'm in the process of de-stressing right now...that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it).

However, I did my first small payment for my work just last Saturday. As part of my program graduation, my peers and colleagues all present their portfolios to prospective employers. As everyone has an individual table, they have little giveaways like business cards and resumes. Not to be outdone, I self-published about a hundred comic books, all printed on double-sided 8.5x11" paper, folded in half, and stapled. Being that it only cost printer toner and paper, I decided to try my hand at selling these to local comic book shops. I made one sale to RX Comics on Main and Broadway and I currently have two copies on consignment at The ComicShop on W. 4th in Vancouver.

So, my next step is self-promotion. There are more shops in town that I need to approach, plus there is an upcoming comic book convention in June which I would like to attend as a guest. Additionally, there is a show on CiTR radio called InkStuds, which is about comic books.

Right now, I'm upgrading my skill set by teaching myself Adobe Illustrator CS2, having continued to milk my student status by purchasing a piece of software that normally retails for $1200 for just over $300. Yes, I purchased Adobe Creative Suite 2, which gives me access to Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, and Acrobat. Sure, I could find the fell-off-the-back-of-a-truck version and use that money to buy more important things like paper and toner, but this way I know I support the hard-working folks at Adobe who need the money to support their caffeine addictions.

Now it's back to work for me.

2006-03-31T01:33:00.000-08:00

Ronica and Bianca doing "Whatta Man" by Salt n' Pepa

Yours Truly and Alyne doing "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence feat. Paul McCoy

Bianca and Lisa doing "I Feel Good" by James Brown

Kat doing "Hotel California" by The Eagles

The final Thursday night Public Relations class was marked by yet another night of karaoke, thanks to the fine folks at Scruffy McGuire's. Having long since ditched the last creepazoid karaoke guy in favour of a guy who doesn't monopolize all the microphone time by dedicating ad nauseum renditions of "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down, we essentially owned the mic that night, from horrid renditions of "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin (done in the style of William Hung) by Yours Truly to the ultimate group song, "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.

I'm really, really going to miss you guys. All of you guys.

2006-03-31T01:03:00.000-08:00

It's official. I have officially conquered the need for sleep.

It's been argued by many people in many places that I probably shouldn't be drinking coffee. By some definitions (i.e.: those that are really quick to push psychoactive medications), I probably display some symptoms of ADHD (see archives for more details). Indeed, I probably talk a lot faster than I should, am a lot more high strung than I should be, and I'd probably be a really bad wreck if I started drinking coffee more regularly.

I've developed a taste for coffee over the past couple of years, mostly black. However, since $2/cup isn't really doing it for me, I figured it would be more cost effective to just make it myself and bring it in a travel mug. Since Thursday morning, when I received my shiny, brand new Braun KF 600 Impressions Coffee Brewer (it comes with a Brita Filter), I'll be able to do that.

I can say that I've never gone overboard to the point that I was twitching and getting caffeine headaches from withdrawl. If I do get hopped up over anything I drink, the worse I've ever gotten was from a watermelon flavoured Slurpee. Slurpees have inordinately high sugar content, which can really, really mess up with your body chemistry and boost your level of aggression. And this substance is LEGAL.

I still remember a pick-up game of basketball played with a friend, when I was so hopped up on sugar that when I went for the jump ball, I put one hand on his chest and shoved him to the ground before I grabbed the ball. I got the technical foul, needless to say.

I actually find that it increases my ability to concentrate and I can get significantly more done in a shorter amount of time when I have a cup or two inside of me.

2006-03-25T19:08:00.000-08:00

We have become far too dependent on technology these days, which seriously underscores how far up shit-creek we will become in the event of a total collapse of social infrastructure.

Case in point: over the past five days, I have had two pieces of technology spontaneously go kaput on me. First, my iPod goes down. No major loss, as I can't exactly use it to do my homework. Mind you, my workouts at the gym have been subjected to listening to a bunch of crap music piped through the gym speakers, but considering the added time and expense (thankfully covered by Apple and Hewlett-Packard), it's something I'd rather do without.

And then my computer spontaneously goes piff. While plugging in my USB flash drive in an attempt to get some work done, the computer just freezes all of a sudden. No longer responding to keystrokes, I reset it. Assuming that the hard drive has overheated, I turn it off and leave it to sit overnight, then try again. Still nothing.

This is somewhat remeniscent of my last computer, which had a hard drive failure that occured slowly over the course of several months, giving me plenty of warning time. Today, after sending it to the shop, a quick diagnosis reveals that either the motherboard or the CPU has spontaneously bitten the dust. This is somewhat good news, as this means that I don't have to go back and reinstall of those programs while kicking myself for not backing up my programs and documents. But either way, I'm out a couple hundred bucks for replacing either the CPU or the motherboard. Dammit.

The problem with a lot of technology is that impending failure is not indicated with compromised performance or whatever (eg: stuff takes longer to load, tends to overheat, etc.). Instead, it'll just spontaneously go under, just like that.

As a result, I am now typing this on my mom's computer and I'm in the process of hooking up my hard drive, but but probably shouldn't boot up from it, given the completely different computer configuration (much slower CPU and graphics card, to name two).

Which means, technically, I don't have an excuse for missing deadline. Double dammit. But at least I got an extention. But I'm still gonna have to do all this crap at school.